Just met someone who will be moving in 3 months

[Jen]

I just met a guy who I thought was perfect for me 1 month ago. We've had a great time so far, but he'll be moving in 3 months across the country for his career. He revealed to me that the one thing stressing him out was the fact that we just met and now he'll be moving. He said he tends to pull back and be elusive to protect himself from getting hurt. What do I do, write him off, or just see where this goes?? I think in his mind, he doesn't want to get serious and then move. I haven't felt like this about anyone before. The other thing is that I just started my career here and have to stay here for a couple years before I can even think about transferring.

 

Do things happen for a reason? So, if it is meant to be it will be.

[magicklady]

Just enjoy him while he is here, but try to keep your feelings out of it by knowing that you have a good thing where you live and he is moving to better his career as well. You guys might decide to keep in touch.. but long distance relationships are a hard thing, keep that in mind.

 

Good luck !

[Tony T]

Write him off for now, but in a couple of years when you are able to transfer, put his name in a search engine, find out where he is, call him and see if he's seeing anyone, and if he isn't see if he would be receptive to dating if you can transfer to the town where he's working.

 

Simple, wasn't it.

 

He sounds like a pretty sane and rational person. I mean what level-headed person wants to fall in love knowing his heart will be crushed because he has to leave in three months. This is a guy you need to keep up with.

 

As far as things happening for a reason, I think most events occur randomly. Saying they happen for a reason is our way of rationalizing the good or the bad.

[Ajay]

Hi Jen: I ditto what both magicklady and Tony responded, but I will add my own thoughts --

 

You wrote; "He said he tends to pull back and be elusive to protect himself from getting hurt." If he's doing this to protect HIMSELF (move on when he moves on) BUT, if he's doing this to protect you and/or both of you, keep in touch with this guy -- he could be a "keeper"...

 

If he's ready to get serious he will (move or not). If he's a "typical guy" he may say all the right things, hoping to get what he can from you before he moves on, and then just move on. HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! (and you will too).

 

You wrote you "haven't felt like this about anyone before", HAS HE (or does he talk to you about how he feels)? Don't dwell on him not getting involved because he has to leave, blah, blah, blah... 'cuz if it's right, there will be no moving on unless it's together. Believe me, you'll both know (and won't want to let it go).

 

If you have seriously started your career here, stick with it (take it from someone who started careering at the young age of 16 and retired before she was 40)!!!

 

I am currently involved with someone I "never felt this way about anyone before" either, but it is MUTUAL (which is why I ask; "how does he feel about you?"). We have been through hell -- together -- apart -- and are still together.

 

Do things happen for a reason? I guess part of me agrees with Tony on that one but, from my own experiences, I often ask myself the same question. My answer? Sometimes, it sure as hell seems like it...

 

Go with the flow, have fun, take care... Ajay

[r]

Hi Jen

 

the same thing happened to me (you can read the message I left - subject breakup). I met this guy and fell in love although I´m leaving in a month for two years. I had exactly the same thoughts you´re having, but I thought we´ll just stay together and see how things go, and lately my feelings were growing very strong - for the first time. But in my case the guy decided this was going to be too difficult and he broke up with me saying it will hurt us less now than in a month.

 

Right now I´m feeling terrible and I´m thinking about him all the time but maybe he´s right and it´s better this way -because our feelings can still get much stronger.

 

From my experience the "being together but keeping the feelings out of the game" doesn´t work - cause we´re all just humans.

 

But I don´t know what to tell you - if to quit now or not. I wanted to stay with my boyfriend and he was the one who stopped it. I think if you both think you want to spend the remaining time together do it - and when he´ll move I guess it will hurt but breaking up always does.

 

Isn´t it sad that you meet your someone just when it can´t work ???

 

Good luck

 

r