Reasons why you wouldn't go back with your ex

[JL911]

Best Reason...

 

I like my new gf better...

[HeavenOrHell]

Because he's left me 3 times altogether and how could I trust him after that?

He's walked away from a very special relationship.

He can be very grumpy!

 

That's all I can think of

 

1. It'll be the thir... fourth time getting back together

2. It'll just happen again--maybe when I neglect her by going to the bathroom for 10 minutes

3. Silent treatments

4. Attempts to put her finger somewhere it doesn't belong

5. Constant criticism of other people

6. She seeks validation from others rather from herself or myself

7. Too many secrets

8. We'll never have a serious conversation without her trying to distract me with sex:bunny:

9. She gets too jealous whenever I'm around other females... including my baby cousin

 

I can't think of another reason to break 10

[HeavenOrHell]

People who walk away CAN truly have loved, and some still do.

 

 

 

1. Anyone who can walk away from me never truly loved me and therefore, they don't deserve a second chance.

 

That should be all you need to move on.

[twinklecat]

There are just so many reasons why our relationship would never work out again!

 

1) Different Goals in Life - I know what I want but he doesn't have a clue yet he's "supposed" to be wiser than me... so he said to me. He's still "finding" himself.

 

2) HUGE EGO PROBLEM - He always thinks he's better because he's older and worked much longer than me (we are both in the F&B industry) Always jealous or pissed off when I'm doing better or if I find something better.

 

3) Financially unstable - Seriously. You would expect a 29 year old man to actually want to have or start to save some money for his future. But what future? He had none planned! Checking account was always 0 balance and no savings account!

 

4) Spending Habits - Practically can be a girl on this one. He's so into buying new clothes/shoes. Can never wear the same thing twice! No money yet has to still find something to buy. Some kind of comfort thing.

 

5) Always disappears! - He's never there when I needed help or someone to depend on. Yet, I was always there when he lost his jobs, went into massive debt...etc. I don't know why I ever accepted this.

 

6) Plays the Blame Game - Whether it's me making him spend more money or how he got fired. Always someone out to get him.

 

7) Never Responsible - He doesn't seem to care about his own life? He doesn't have a passport, a driver's license, a yearly full-body checkup.. etc? He knows about this stuff.. but he doesn't care? He rather buy clothes?

 

8) Insecure - He left me telling me that I was the one who was insanely insecure when he couldn't stick up for himself in front of his cousins or family friends who are all younger than him!

 

9) His Family - There is no drama but they have to create drama to make themselves feel better? They also like to compete with each other for some reason. They often compared me with my ex because we were in the same industry. In the end, he chooses to go with the crazy side and start creating drama.

 

10) The sex sucked.

 

 

Wow. Lots of red flags. Oh well.. he was my first love. I still love him and respect him. Even though he left, hurt and cheated on me.. I still hope he find someone who can help him.

 

Might I add.. he's still incredibly mad even though he broke up with me. Apparently, a 22 year old can ruin a 29 year old's life.

 

Wow, are you sure you weren't with my ex? Pretty much everything you said there sums my ex up! We are well rid!

[SValentine]

1. She used me to get over her ex

2. She still uses me to get attention from her current boyfriend

3. She is a flirt

4. She was never serious with me

5. Every little thing she does pisses me off

6. I feel like i wasted 8 months of my life with her

7. She makes plans with me and blows me off for her boyfriend

8. I'm still holding a silent grudge

9. She had relations with another guy while still dating me

10. She toyed with my feelings

 

I never want anything to do with her again.

[CaliGuy]

People who walk away CAN truly have loved, and some still do.

 

They DID love you at one time, but not anymore. Not in that way. Certainly they don't love you enough to be willing to make the effort to work things out.

[redmelon]

I am sure Cali Guy's sentiments are true in most situations, but not ALL. There are certainly times when one must be dumped because they cannot see themselves clearly and use the relationship to mask the ill effects of their behavior by blaming it on their partner, and/or refuse to, or cannot resolve issues that are outside of the relationship, but effect it, nonetheless. The dumper does not always want to dump, sometimes it's all that's left to be done. Sometimes things just cannot be fixed, no matter how hard you try. I would call this leaving "with love", hopefully for their own good and benefit. It hurts like hell and certainly doesn't mean that love isn't present anymore, it just means the relationship was unhealthy and dysfunctional.

 

As for this thread, I think I've already contributed, albeit vaguely.

[jv032889]

1. Selfish

2. She is a liar

3. Inconsiderate

4. Secretly talked to other girls

5. Predictable

6. Sex wasn't very good

7. Wasn't romantic

8. Always went her way

9. Hid feelings

10. Communication sucked!!!!

11. Left me twice before in the span of 2 months

Edited November 12, 2009 by jv032889

[cdt76]

1) Hid her feelings

2) Didn't communicate anything she wanted or needed

3) Assumed things about me instead of asking

4) Was checking my email account for no reason

5) Wasted 10,000 bucks on her and she didn't even care

6) She "took my kids out of the picture" when deciding to move out, even though they were attached at the hip

7) Treated my house and possession like garbage when she finally moved out

8) Started a relationship with my friend/co-worker the week she left me, possibly earlier

9) Lied to her family about me, to make herself look better and me like a crazy person

10) She runs away from her problems instead of facing them. She is a coward as is her new boyfriend.

[DustySaltus]

1) Hid her feelings

2) Didn't communicate anything she wanted or needed

3) Assumed things about me instead of asking

4) Was checking my email account for no reason

5) Wasted 10,000 bucks on her and she didn't even care

6) She "took my kids out of the picture" when deciding to move out, even though they were attached at the hip

7) Treated my house and possession like garbage when she finally moved out

8) Started a relationship with my friend/co-worker the week she left me, possibly earlier

9) Lied to her family about me, to make herself look better and me like a crazy person

10) She runs away from her problems instead of facing them. She is a coward as is her new boyfriend.

 

except for #'s 6-8. We are in the same boat. You can sub the following:

 

#6: Tried to get me fired from my job by telling them I was leaving anyway..

 

#7: Won't give me the engagement ring back.

 

#8: Tells me she is engaged again (as a joke), three months after we break up and then proceeds to try and have phone sex with me..that was the last point of contact (I was trying to get her to give me the stuff back).

 

Of course I discovered that she has BPD, so it was a no win situation....

[ElChup]

She doesn't love me any more.

 

 

Good enough reason for me.

[teanoranges]

He told me he doesn't love me anymore and never will (how can I believe those feelings won't come back?)

He has been with another woman, touched her and let her touch him, now feels he loves her.

Betrayed me.

What can be sacred or special after that?

[JolliX]

1) We argued too much

2) She broke up with me over a text and would not talk face to face or over the phone about it (never did, which is just horrible I think).

3) She wouldn't tell people close to her we were dating, which made me feel she was ashamed of dating me.

4) Her roommate is her ex before me (they became roommates while we were dating, and this bothered me b/c they only broke up b/c he shipped out for military duty).

5) The last month of our relationship, she treated her ex/roommate as more of her partner than me (which really made me feel like crap, and over react to stupid situations).

6) She wanted me around b/c I did things for her that no one else ever had, or wouldn't (brought her flowers, went to events with her, complimented her, encouraged her), but she rarely put that same effort towards me.

7) She blatantly lied to me. She had said she wanted to make the relationship work, and even talked me out of breaking up with her when I pretty much knew it wouldn't work (because of above reasons), only to have her turn around and dump me by texts weeks later (this made it hurt so much more as I poured even more hope and effort into the relationship at this point).

8) Things between her and her ex just felt fishy, and she would justify it as "none of my business".

9) She can't even hold up simple mature deals after the relationship (we've had two scheduled times to trade back stuff, and she's bailed on both of them).

10) She went off on me and made me feel and look like the bad guy/psycho because I said I didn't want to be friends, was angry with her, and insisted on talking about the break up so I cold have closure (no talk ever happened, and she just fed my anger b/c of reason #9).

11) We just apparently didn't see eye to eye on what the relationship was, or where it should be.

12) I would invite her to hang out with me and my friends when hers would bail on her. I would incorporate her into my life. She would in return tell me her time with her friends was her time, and she didn't want to invite me to things (I got invited to hang out with her and her friends maybe 4 or 5 times during the 8 months we dated). Once again, this made me feel like she was ashamed b/c she just gave half assed reasons for it.

13) Kind of restating #7, she wouldn't let me end the relationship (though I listened, so I'm to blame for not acting on whatI knew) when I knew things weren't working out. I even took the time to talk with her face to face about it and provided my reasons. So I feel she kept me in the relationship and thinking/hoping it would be ok just so she could work on getting her ex back, and getting over me, and then dumping me when she felt ok about it.

Edited November 14, 2009 by JolliX

[fofiffs]

To make it short and sweet in one word "HOE"...lol