she wants some space

[Weavs33]

Hi

I am new to this but I need to hear from people who are going through the same thing, or went through it.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for coming up on 10 months now, but have been good friends since highschool, we are both 24. Recently, end of August, she started grad school 4.5 hours away from here. During the 8 months we had together everything was great, we share the same interests, she has opened me up to new things and I her. We became each others best friend and as we both felt each others true love. Throughout the summer we stayed with each other almost everynight, either at her place or mine.

As the time approached for the LDR we talked about things that concerned us and both agreed that it was only a slight hurdle in our relationship. I should mention that we had talked about marriage and were going to start looking at rings over her winter break. During her time away we talked every night, texted daily, emailed and skyped occasionally. Everything seemed great, well as great as an LDR can be, untill this past weekend, i knew something was wrong and finally got her to admit that she wanted some space to think about things, mainly the relationship. She has started to question her feelings about me.

Is this a bad sign or is it just the distance, we have not seen each other in person for about 6 weeks now, she will be home in 2 for the weekend. I have given her space, only called one night to ask how she made out on a mid term. This not knowing what she is feeling is killing me though. I really feel as though the distance is starting to take its toll on her. When she said she wanted some space we (she) decided that we should tone it back a while and see how things are when she comes home.

When a girl asks for space is that it? Does anyone come back from this? I really feel like this is just a reaction to the stress of grad school and the distance. Thanks for any advice I get.

Edited October 15, 2009 by Weavs33

[LucreziaBorgia]

When that happens, it is usually one of three things:

 

She is interesting in someone else

She is already seeing someone else

Her priorities have changed and she outgrew the relationship

 

When it is more on the 'sudden' side, you can bet it wasn't a gradual growing past the relationship. It was the hooking up (or possible hooking up) with someone else.

[Weavs33]

I brought that up when we spoke and she assured me that wasn't it. I trust her. So you don't think it is just the stress from the new situation she is in?

[Romance]

I think I totally understand, I am in a kinda similar relationship (4.5 hours away, text daily and phone calls at night and have dated 1 year) and honestly, I am totally and deeply in love with my boyfriend but sometimes..the ldr just takes a toll on me. I have told my boyfriend I needed time to think before, I got back with him though and still am with him. I think once she sees you again in 2 weeks, she'll realize she can do it. She might just be thinking things over. the ldr is reallllly hard on me, your gf could be the same way. Sometimes you just want to reevaluate, and figure out if you're doing the same thing. Hopefully all will be well again in 2 weeks.

[Thebob]

When that happens, it is usually one of three things:

 

She is interesting in someone else

She is already seeing someone else

Her priorities have changed and she outgrew the relationship

 

When it is more on the 'sudden' side, you can bet it wasn't a gradual growing past the relationship. It was the hooking up (or possible hooking up) with someone else.

 

Don't trust everything a girl tells you man, she could be saying this to not hurt your feelings cause she knows you love her. I recently broke up with my girl, we were great going in to the LDR then 2 weeks in to it she says she doesn't think this will work and she assured me that there isn't another man in her life. But I automatically assumed that she already hooked up, if not ****ed another guy already and she was just telling me this to make me feel better about the situation. She told me that she wants those random hook up nights and doesn't want to hurt me when she does cause I was all the way in another state. BUT once again she assured me that she hadn't done that yet but I knew she had cause girls just dont say that for a reason. If she doesn't stick with you, then you deserve someone who will want you to be there by there side all the time and never have second thoughts. Sorry to be harsh but this is my opinion.

 

Thebob

[LucreziaBorgia]

Why would she be truthful about something like that? If she lies, then she gets to keep you on the hook in case things don't work out with a new guy. If she is truthful, she runs the risk of losing you both. She won't come out with the truth until she is firmly, and I mean firmly attached to the other vine, so to speak.

 

Think about it. You are stressed, you are in a new situation, you are under a lot of pressure. Does that make you love your girlfriend less and find yourself needing "space"? NO! It makes you want to turn to her for comfort in hard times. Would YOU risk losing the woman you love by pushing her away simply because you are in a new situation?

 

People don't risk ending relationships that they really want to be in with that "space" bullsh*t. They only risk relationships that they don't want to be in anymore.

 

Now if things were doing downhill over the course of a few months, I'd be more inclined to think that she was simply falling out of love and outgrowing the relationship. But, to turn in two weeks? I'd bet a large amount of money that she made a new "friend" over this past couple of weeks. One that she has no intention of mentioning until she knows for sure which direction she wants to go in.