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Should I Get Married When I'm Not "In Love" Or Terribly Attracted?


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Originally posted by callie

You guys are right.

 

Sometimes when you are in a situation it is harder to see what you are doing. I'm going to break it off. I know he is not going to make it easy though. He will keep calling me etc.

 

For the past couple of months I have been depressed about this and I'm sick of it.

Oh well, it will just be another failed relationship to add to my life.

 

For some reason, I have done this before. I got involved in a realtionship and I wasn't really into the guy but stayed in it for some reason.

 

What is wrong with me?

 

 

I had several of these relationships..........short, but I believe you learn a lesson from each one............consider them practice, or learning about what you really want and don't want..........but believe me..............don't settle...........end 100 realationships you don't feel "right" about before settling for even one! honestly, in the end, when you did find "mr right" all the toads before him, were just lessons you needed to learn!

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Starford135

[Thank you, Nikkilove, for this e-mail. I think your advice is right, and your outlook is good, as far as considering these practice relationships!!! I know if I were 20 years younger, I'd be a lot more okay with the idea of going back out onto the market. At this age, I'm afraid that each boyfriend is the last I'll have. Well, I'm not ready to make the break yet, but I know I'll have to, and I suppose that prolonging it will only make it worse. Thanks for the words of wisdom. And good luck to you! Starford135

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  • 2 weeks later...
MaryJanesMay

Ok, take it from me - I've made a mistake that everyone on here should learn from. I am 41 and remarried back in January. I "settled" for a guy I didn't really trust - never could quite put my finger on what it was about him I couldn't trust.

 

I disregarded that feeling and married him because so many people told me "You're not getting any younger". I loved my husband to a certain degree but my gut feelings kept knawing at me that something wasn't right. I cried the night before I got married.

 

While we dated things were great - he just was way too anxious to get married. I think he just needed a wife in his house doing his cooking and cleaning - he truly didn't love me and he recently proved why I could never trust him.

 

In a nutshell it was a huge mistake and what I'm saying is don't marry anyone that you truly don't love - DON'T SETTLE!!!! Don't let anyone rush you into marriage, etc.

 

I ended this marriage yesterday - I got divorced! I couldn't deal with the pressure of trying to love and trust someone that just wasn't right for me.

 

Stick with your intuition and gut feelings.......don't settle and learn to enjoy being single. I asked myself this question....

 

Would you rather be sick and married or healthy and single?

 

Leaving that marriage was like someone cutting off lead weights tied to my ankles -Being married to someone I settled for was like was having to walk thru mud wearing those weights.

 

I cut the weights lose and left that marriage - learned a huge lesson and won't look back. In a nutshell - don't let society make you feel like you gotta be in a relationship or be married - don't settle just so you won't be alone.

 

Learn to love yourself and be happy - not codependent.

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