Cheetara Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I got a form in my daughters school papers about an overnight camping trip her teacher is having for the class in May at the end of the year. My daughter is excited about this, because she loves camping so much and hardly ever gets to do it. Having all her classmate friends there is just going to be icing on the cake. The problem is, her bio father wants to go as one of the chaperones because the form said that any number of parents could come along if they want. But I want my husband, my daughter's stepfather to go instead. Its not realistic to have them both go, because they don't get along and avoid each other and get competitive about being a father to my daughter. Spending an entire weekend in the same place would be a powder-keg waiting to go off. I really want my husband to be the one to go because I think it is important that they have opportunities to bond and make memories together. She already adores him, but still, the more opportunities the better. My ex gets my daughter every other weekend so he should just be happy with that. I told him this and he got angry and said that she is his daughter, not my husbands and that he doesn't get to see her enough. He said he really really wants to go to the camping trip with her. I think he is just jealous that my daughter will have a great time without him, and that she will get closer to her stepfather. He is very threatned by her close relationship with my husband. I haven't asked my daughter who she would rather have go with her, and I don't plan to. I think by now that her bio father has probably brainwashed her into saying she wants him to go. I am afraid my husband would be very hurt and disappointed if he doesn't get to go with my daughter on this important trip. How do I get her bio father to agree and let my husband take her? Is it too much to ask of him? I really think he should just be happy with the custody he already has and stop trying to intrude on the time that me, my husband and my daughter have as a family.
tinktronik Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I got a form in my daughters school papers about an overnight camping trip her teacher is having for the class in May at the end of the year. My daughter is excited about this, because she loves camping so much and hardly ever gets to do it. Having all her classmate friends there is just going to be icing on the cake. The problem is, her bio father wants to go as one of the chaperones because the form said that any number of parents could come along if they want. But I want my husband, my daughter's stepfather to go instead. Its not realistic to have them both go, because they don't get along and avoid each other and get competitive about being a father to my daughter. Spending an entire weekend in the same place would be a powder-keg waiting to go off. I really want my husband to be the one to go because I think it is important that they have opportunities to bond and make memories together. She already adores him, but still, the more opportunities the better. My ex gets my daughter every other weekend so he should just be happy with that. I told him this and he got angry and said that she is his daughter, not my husbands and that he doesn't get to see her enough. He said he really really wants to go to the camping trip with her. I think he is just jealous that my daughter will have a great time without him, and that she will get closer to her stepfather. He is very threatned by her close relationship with my husband. I haven't asked my daughter who she would rather have go with her, and I don't plan to. I think by now that her bio father has probably brainwashed her into saying she wants him to go. I am afraid my husband would be very hurt and disappointed if he doesn't get to go with my daughter on this important trip. How do I get her bio father to agree and let my husband take her? Is it too much to ask of him? I really think he should just be happy with the custody he already has and stop trying to intrude on the time that me, my husband and my daughter have as a family. What I THINK is that you are a really cr@ppy person to share a child with. YOU think YOU want... This is her father and no every other weekend is not enough time with his child. Is it too much to ask of him? Yes it is. I really think he should just be happy with the custody he already has and stop trying to intrude on the time that me, my husband and my daughter have as a family. You think? How about this is his child too. Your basically saying he should just be happy with what you want. This is about you and not your daughter. You don;t want to be married to him, fine, your not. But you don't get to decide to just have him never happen, he happened and you made a child with him. Now he is trying to be a father to her and you are doing your best to replace him with the new hubby. YUCK! It made me feel physically sick to read your post.
Author Cheetara Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 I'm sorry you didn't like my post, but I don't think my expectations are unreasonable. The court is the one that gave him his every other weekend, so if thats all they thought he should have, then thats what I think too. And thats what he should expect and be happy he gets even that. My daughter has my husband and me. We're a family and I think it just causes problems that she goes to her fathers twice a month. I don't think is good for her to have to go back and forth from one home to another. She would be better off living with us full time. My daughter has everything she needs here. She has a mommy and a daddy and a sister. I'm sorry that it worked out so that she doesn't need her bio dad, but he needs accept this and do whats best for her if he really loves her and let her stepfather take over as her real father. My husband is here for my daughter everyday. He helps her with her homework, plays soccer with her puts her to bed and tucks her in every night. My daughter isn't missing anything when her bio dad is not around. I am bitter that the courts gave him any custody at all. I feel like we can't be a real familly until all ties are cut from my ex. I hope that clears the misunderstanding up and you see what i mean a little better.
tinktronik Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I'm sorry you didn't like my post, but I don't think my expectations are unreasonable. The court is the one that gave him his every other weekend, so if thats all they thought he should have, then thats what I think too. And thats what he should expect and be happy he gets even that. My daughter has my husband and me. We're a family and I think it just causes problems that she goes to her fathers twice a month. I don't think is good for her to have to go back and forth from one home to another. She would be better off living with us full time. My daughter has everything she needs here. She has a mommy and a daddy and a sister. I'm sorry that it worked out so that she doesn't need her bio dad, but he needs accept this and do whats best for her if he really loves her and let her stepfather take over as her real father. My husband is here for my daughter everyday. He helps her with her homework, plays soccer with her puts her to bed and tucks her in every night. My daughter isn't missing anything when her bio dad is not around. I am bitter that the courts gave him any custody at all. I feel like we can't be a real familly until all ties are cut from my ex. I hope that clears the misunderstanding up and you see what i mean a little better. No, no misunderstanding. You cemented what I said. You have decided that your choice to have a child with your ex can and should be undone and nobody will suffer in this except for your ex and your daughter. How sad.
Author Cheetara Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 If what you say is supposedly true, how is my daughter going to suffer from this? She has her family here, not at her bio fathers house. The more a child is with their family, the better in my opinion. As for my ex, I think he is a hypocrite. If he really loved her, he would want the best for her and that does not mean going back and forth, having to live two lives at two houses. He is the selfish one by insistently exercising his custody.
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 If what you say is supposedly true, how is my daughter going to suffer from this? She has her family here, not at her bio fathers house. The more a child is with their family, the better in my opinion. As for my ex, I think he is a hypocrite. If he really loved her, he would want the best for her and that does not mean going back and forth, having to live two lives at two houses. He is the selfish one by insistently exercising his custody. My god. Who are you. If the courts knew this was your take on the situation they would grant your ex custody. They look at the parents willingness to collaboratively raise the child. She does not have her whole family there at your house, she has you, her step-father and a half-sibling and then she has her father and his family. If you really loved her you would want what's best for her. To have 2 parents respecting each other and their love for their child. A sharing of time and resources that goes smoothly and without any animosity from her parents. You are the one causing problems, you are insisting that she view her step-parent as her parent. This is damaging. You can cause her to have serious issues with your own animosity. Get some counseling.
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Do some reading up on parental alienation and see what it does to a child. I know you don't want to have to deal with your ex and I can understand why but you need to be able to see why your daughter does need to have contact and a good relationship with her dad. You can also see what you can do to make sure your daughter's needs are met, all of them.
Author Cheetara Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 Do some reading up on parental alienation and see what it does to a child. I know you don't want to have to deal with your ex and I can understand why but you need to be able to see why your daughter does need to have contact and a good relationship with her dad. You can also see what you can do to make sure your daughter's needs are met, all of them. I respect your advice, but you have yet to tell me what my ex can offer my daughter that my husband can't. You simply say it is damaging yet you cannot tell me why. My husband can give my daughter everything my ex can, except he can give more because he is part of a family unit. My ex is not. He has no SO and no other children. When my daughter stays with him, it is just the two of them and i can't possibly understand what a grown man and an eight year old girl can do for a whole weekend without my daughter dying of bordem.
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 (edited) I respect your advice, but you have yet to tell me what my ex can offer my daughter that my husband can't. You simply say it is damaging yet you cannot tell me why. My husband can give my daughter everything my ex can, except he can give more because he is part of a family unit. My ex is not. He has no SO and no other children. When my daughter stays with him, it is just the two of them and i can't possibly understand what a grown man and an eight year old girl can do for a whole weekend without my daughter dying of bordem. Your daughter recognizes that there is a unique bond with her father because he is her father, her real father. Her real father absolutely understands that there is a unique relationship with his daughter because she is his daughter. The fact that these 2 people are forever connected and will be connected in some manner throughout their whole lives is without question, this is the most important thing to keep in mind in raising your daughter. The most significant damage that is being done is the negative characterization that you are making about dad because that leads to reactive attachment, because your daughter recognizes the attachment but is getting the message from you that it is wrong or unimportant, leading to an unrealistic expectation in your daughter to ignore her father. This can cause low self esteem because your daughter recognizes that she is 1/2 her father and garners many of her characteristics for him. This eventually can lead to conflict between stepfather, father and yourself with your daughter feeling stuck in the middle. Your daughter is not naive, if she does not already know it she will soon know that what you are doing is taking out your relationship baggage on her and her father's relationship. Your daughters relationship with her father tells her who she is. Bio parents are always a priori any other relationship; for good or ill. Knowing and seeing how that relationship works is important for both the parent and child. Why are you important to your daughter's life? What would it do to her life to have you taken away and replaced with your ex's new choice? What makes you any more important to her well-being than any Jane off the street, as long as she was tucked in and helped with her homework? How would you feel if you were the one being replaced? How would you feel if you were an 8 year old little girl that had a new mommy and your mommy was not welcome to be your mommy anymore? Edited October 17, 2009 by tinktronik
Author Cheetara Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 thank you for explaining herself more. I see you have a few good points, and basing my actions so far on them, only vindicates my feelings and actions further. If his presence and relationship is so vital to my daughter, then it is for the best that it be minimized when she is younger so that she has time to find an equally important bond with her stepfather. Though he and I revile my ex, we do not talk bad about him in front of her and do not make her feel bad for being 1/2 of him. She does have some characteristics that are strongly her bio fathers, and these are never discouraged or remarked upon. I agree with you that a male figure is crucial for a young girl to have in her life and that it plays a large part in determining the sucess of her self-confidence and choice of romantic partners in her adulthood, but I think having two will only confuse her in the long run. My ex and my daughter do have a unique and special and permanent connection. So why does he insist on being around so much and interloping? he's her father, fine. So then he should let my husband take her on the camping trip. If my husband takes her, that doesn't change that he is still her bio father. Why is he so threatened by my husband and my daughters relationship if his own relationship with my daughter is so special and unique? But I give you credit for making some very valid points and they are not falling on deaf ears. How would you, if you were in my position, go about pacifying my ex while encouraging strong bonding between my husband and my daughter?
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 thank you for explaining herself more. I see you have a few good points, and basing my actions so far on them, only vindicates my feelings and actions further. If his presence and relationship is so vital to my daughter, then it is for the best that it be minimized when she is younger so that she has time to find an equally important bond with her stepfather. Though he and I revile my ex, we do not talk bad about him in front of her and do not make her feel bad for being 1/2 of him. She does have some characteristics that are strongly her bio fathers, and these are never discouraged or remarked upon. I agree with you that a male figure is crucial for a young girl to have in her life and that it plays a large part in determining the sucess of her self-confidence and choice of romantic partners in her adulthood, but I think having two will only confuse her in the long run. My ex and my daughter do have a unique and special and permanent connection. So why does he insist on being around so much and interloping? he's her father, fine. So then he should let my husband take her on the camping trip. If my husband takes her, that doesn't change that he is still her bio father. Why is he so threatened by my husband and my daughters relationship if his own relationship with my daughter is so special and unique? But I give you credit for making some very valid points and they are not falling on deaf ears. How would you, if you were in my position, go about pacifying my ex while encouraging strong bonding between my husband and my daughter? Tell both your ex and your current H to both go on the trip and deal with each other in a positive manner in order for your daughter to have 2 very important men in her life that can get along for her sake. This will allow for strong bonding between your daughter, your H and exH. And you stay out of it beyond that.
Author Cheetara Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 In addition to one of your statements. Another woman could never take my place. A mothers bond with a child is much stronger than a fathers. A man only plants his seed. It is best for a child to have a father, but not absolutely necessary. The mother is the only parent who is vital. Anyone who works in the Custody court system can tell you this. Often times having a father in the picture is only a source of problems and complications. I am very lucky to have found my husband who is truly a great man and father to his girls. But going back to what I was saying, a father must establish his bond with his child later in the childs life when the child is old enough to understand who the man is that made them, but the mother establishes her bond with her child before the child is even born, while it is still in utero. because a mother and child share a body for nine months the bond is so deep and natural that even the strongest bonds between a father and a child are nothing in comparison to the bonds between a mother and the same child. Its just a fact. Look it up. Yes now its your turn to do some research. No matter what woman my husband may take for a SO, she stands no chance of having the same bond that me and my daughter do and is no threat to me.
Author Cheetara Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 Tell both your ex and your current H to both go on the trip and deal with each other in a positive manner in order for your daughter to have 2 very important men in her life that can get along for her sake. This will allow for strong bonding between your daughter, your H and exH. And you stay out of it beyond that. This is an interesting suggestion. but you are talking about two men who have been extreme enemies for several years now. bio dad gets upset when my daughter calls my husband daddy and so my daughter would have to go an entire weekend supressing this very natural urge? I can't imagine the ex and my husband interacting for even half an hour without my ex getting jealous and spiteful because my daughter shows my husband the same amount of attention she shows him sometimes probably more attention then she shows him. ButI will suggest this to my ex and he can take it or leave it. If he can be a man and deal with the reality of it and behave himself for a whole weekend, I don't see the harm in it and i will gladly stay out of it. Since the camping trip falls on a weekend in which he doesn't have her, then it is ultimately my call to allow ordeny him access to my daughter for that weekend.
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 In addition to one of your statements. Another woman could never take my place. A mothers bond with a child is much stronger than a fathers. A man only plants his seed. It is best for a child to have a father, but not absolutely necessary. The mother is the only parent who is vital. Anyone who works in the Custody court system can tell you this. Often times having a father in the picture is only a source of problems and complications. I am very lucky to have found my husband who is truly a great man and father to his girls. But going back to what I was saying, a father must establish his bond with his child later in the childs life when the child is old enough to understand who the man is that made them, but the mother establishes her bond with her child before the child is even born, while it is still in utero. because a mother and child share a body for nine months the bond is so deep and natural that even the strongest bonds between a father and a child are nothing in comparison to the bonds between a mother and the same child. Its just a fact. Look it up. Yes now its your turn to do some research. No matter what woman my husband may take for a SO, she stands no chance of having the same bond that me and my daughter do and is no threat to me. You're the one who needs to do your research, your current input is outdated. Court systems in the latest years have recognized that a father's role in his child's life is of equal importance to the mothers. It is stuck in YOUR mind that this is the case and your ex is unimportant but the facts do not fit it. A mother's importance in a child's life may exceed that of a fathers in the early months before weaning and only if you breast-feed but beyond that a parent's role is just that-- a role to fill a child's need and to steer them in a direction in life that suits for a good life. This is something that you have in someway been taught, did your mother run your bio dad off?
Author Cheetara Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 You're the one who needs to do your research, your current input is outdated. Court systems in the latest years have recognized that a father's role in his child's life is of equal importance to the mothers. It is stuck in YOUR mind that this is the case and your ex is unimportant but the facts do not fit it. A mother's importance in a child's life may exceed that of a fathers in the early months before weaning and only if you breast-feed but beyond that a parent's role is just that-- a role to fill a child's need and to steer them in a direction in life that suits for a good life. This is something that you have in someway been taught, did your mother run your bio dad off? Is my input outdated, or is yours simply new-age politically correct fad? True in mos states it is becoming trendy to champion the father, but people will soon get their heads out of the clouds and come back to their senses. But you are right, breast-feeding is just of many examples why a mothers role is far suprior to a fathers. In what way can a father ever nourish his child in a physical manner? It isn't possible. Yet with a mother, it is not only possible, but fundamentally necessary. Thank you for helping me to demonstrate my point. My mother didn't run my bio father off, but he was not in the picture and so the man who raised me, technically my stepfather, is my true father.
tinktronik Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Is my input outdated, or is yours simply new-age politically correct fad? True in mos states it is becoming trendy to champion the father, but people will soon get their heads out of the clouds and come back to their senses. But you are right, breast-feeding is just of many examples why a mothers role is far suprior to a fathers. In what way can a father ever nourish his child in a physical manner? It isn't possible. Yet with a mother, it is not only possible, but fundamentally necessary. Thank you for helping me to demonstrate my point. My mother didn't run my bio father off, but he was not in the picture and so the man who raised me, technically my stepfather, is my true father. Alright then. Well, you have fun raising that daughter of yours. You sound like your mind is all set. No point arguing any points when you have already cemented yourself ... Good luck then.
gracielou Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 even tho this may be pointless to post... I think you should let your daughter decide. I also think by trying to keep your daughter away from her father, you may cause more damage to your relationship with her. There is a chance that once she is of age she can choose who to live with. What will you do if she decides she would rather move in with her biological dad? What will you do if, heaven forbid, you divorce your current husband? you may not talk ill of her father in front of her, however your actions speak louder than words... and children are more aware of that than you may think I have a number of friends who have very healthy relationships with both their step parent and biological parent. She in fact will have a richer experience learning from all the parents involved. You should give her the chance and let her figure out on her own with you, you deciding if she should keep her biological father in her life or not.
TwoForgiving Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Think about this - if you deny your daughter time with her father and try to impose your new husband on her as a replacement for her own living breathing father, she will resent you unbelievably when she grows up. Why? Because you are imposing your ideas of what's right for her and not what is really best for her. How can you even imply that being with her father is not being with her family? I seriously wonder why the courts ever gave you custody of her because you sound like a terrible selfish mother who only wants what she wants. Your not taking your daughter's well being into account at all and simply want YOUR new family unit - which is not your daughter's only family unit. Your husband would be hurt if he doesn't get to go camping with her, what a bunch of malarkey. She's with you two all the time except for the two weekends she spends with the rest of HER family - her's father's.
Lucky_One Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 In addition to one of your statements. Another woman could never take my place. A mothers bond with a child is much stronger than a fathers. A man only plants his seed. It is best for a child to have a father, but not absolutely necessary. The mother is the only parent who is vital. Anyone who works in the Custody court system can tell you this. Often times having a father in the picture is only a source of problems and complications. I am very lucky to have found my husband who is truly a great man and father to his girls. But going back to what I was saying, a father must establish his bond with his child later in the childs life when the child is old enough to understand who the man is that made them, but the mother establishes her bond with her child before the child is even born, while it is still in utero. because a mother and child share a body for nine months the bond is so deep and natural that even the strongest bonds between a father and a child are nothing in comparison to the bonds between a mother and the same child. Its just a fact. Look it up. Yes now its your turn to do some research. No matter what woman my husband may take for a SO, she stands no chance of having the same bond that me and my daughter do and is no threat to me. Holy smokes. What an everliving bitch. You are so incredibly nasty about the bond between a father and a child.
silverfish Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I have a Dad & a Step dad. My Dad treated my Mum very badly, cheated on her, drank, wasn't there for her. Credit to her though, she always backed him up in his parenting of me & my sister. They always talked through important decisions and tried to come to amicable decisions. They tried to keep their personal RELATIONSHIP issues from affecting my sister & me. They didn't break up because they disgreed fundamentally on parenting us, they just didn't get on. Now, to your situation. I think you are seriously letting your feelings towards your ex affect your daughters relationship with him. You are trying to airbrush him out of her life, and replace him with your new man. I don't really understand why she calls her Stepdad Dad, seeing as she sees her Dad often. What does she call him then? You should be happy to let your ex go with your daughter, and have a weekend free with your new husband. Many women, myself included, would welcome and encourage this, not try and cause conflict between Dad 1 & Dad 2. Her real Dad should get first choice in these situations and not her Stepdad. If he is as great a stepdad as you say he should understand and stay out of it. Another woman might not be able to take your place, but she could certainly show your daughter that her Dad has good qualities, and that she loves him, and that's ok. My Stepmum did this with my Dad, and we are very close. As your daughter grows up she will make her own mind up about her relationships with people and the less you try and control her now in this matter, the better your relationship with her will be.
Lucky_One Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 OP, what are you going to do when your D wants her father to walk her down the aisle at her wedding? Why don't you rent Second Chance Harvey, with Dustin Hoffman, just for a change of scenery?
Author Cheetara Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 I don't really understand why she calls her Stepdad Dad, seeing as she sees her Dad often. What does she call him then? Another woman might not be able to take your place Exactly. She calls her stepdad dad because that is what she considers him to be. She used to call her bio father dad years ago, these days she calls him by his first name. (No, I have never done anything to encourage this.)
Author Cheetara Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 OP, what are you going to do when your D wants her father to walk her down the aisle at her wedding? Why don't you rent Second Chance Harvey, with Dustin Hoffman, just for a change of scenery? That will be her choice when the time comes. But she adores her stepfather, so I would not urge my ex to count on walking her down the aisle. I do appreciate that you people are trying to steer me in a direction that you believe to be best for my daughter. However, I have no intentions of changing my approach to co-parenting with my ex. You needn't worry about my daugther, she is healthy and loved. The courts gave me full custody because they saw me as the better parent, so I feel justified in my actions towards my ex. If he wants to be a more involved father than he can have another child with someone else. I came to this site because I was looking for advice on how to discourage my ex from bugging me about getting to go while not having a tantrum because my husband will go in his place. As I said in an earlier post, I think I will simply tell my ex that he is welcome to go, but that my husband will also be there. That alone will probably scare him off. And if he still does go, than he will have to be on his best behavior and keep his little jealous tantrums to himself. My husband is much bigger than him and will run him off if he gets out of hand. Hopefully it won't come to that of course.
silverfish Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 The courts gave you custody because you are the mother, and unless there was a very good reason, fathers just do not get custody over the mother. From your last post I can see now that this is all about you. You obviously enjoy this little game you are playing with your ex. Hopoefully your new husband will call you out on it before he gets dragged in. It's very immature what you're doing
fooled once Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 I got a form in my daughters school papers about an overnight camping trip her teacher is having for the class in May at the end of the year. My daughter is excited about this, because she loves camping so much and hardly ever gets to do it. Having all her classmate friends there is just going to be icing on the cake. The problem is, her bio father wants to go as one of the chaperones because the form said that any number of parents could come along if they want. But I want my husband, my daughter's stepfather to go instead. Its not realistic to have them both go, because they don't get along and avoid each other and get competitive about being a father to my daughter. Spending an entire weekend in the same place would be a powder-keg waiting to go off. I really want my husband to be the one to go because I think it is important that they have opportunities to bond and make memories together. She already adores him, but still, the more opportunities the better. My ex gets my daughter every other weekend so he should just be happy with that. I told him this and he got angry and said that she is his daughter, not my husbands and that he doesn't get to see her enough. He said he really really wants to go to the camping trip with her. I think he is just jealous that my daughter will have a great time without him, and that she will get closer to her stepfather. He is very threatned by her close relationship with my husband. I haven't asked my daughter who she would rather have go with her, and I don't plan to. I think by now that her bio father has probably brainwashed her into saying she wants him to go. I am afraid my husband would be very hurt and disappointed if he doesn't get to go with my daughter on this important trip. How do I get her bio father to agree and let my husband take her? Is it too much to ask of him? I really think he should just be happy with the custody he already has and stop trying to intrude on the time that me, my husband and my daughter have as a family. Hi. I am a bio mom and a step mom. I have to say, the sentence I bolded, was really not a nice thing to say to your ex. You really aren't being a good ex wife or mother to want your ex to back out so your H can make memories with your D. That is really low. I am just amazed at the things you posted and the cruelty you have shown. Your D is going to pick up on this and one day, this is going to come back to haunt you. Whose weekend is the camping trip on? If I was your ex, I would sign myself up; mainly because of your attitude. There was a better way to handle this. Your D has 26 days a month to "bond" with your H. Her father has 4 days a month. Do you really think THAT is fair?
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