Author Timbo Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 She knows that this can't continue much longer, or at least she has said as much. You see, we've been in pretty much steady contact throughout the separation (because of our son). We've decided to enter into a period of "no contact" for a month. She's agreed to dial the phone for my son so that he can talk to me. I really feel this best because we both think that alot of her confusion comes from not having to deal with me not being there anymore (in the sense that I have been in the past). I realize that this could very well be the end and I'm going to use this time to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. I get to be with my son in a month from now as well. When I lay down at night, I look at her pillow and imagine her laying there next to me with her sweet smile. I miss her and my son so incredibly much. My dreams are of us three being together again. I truly feel as though I am nothing without them. Tim Link to post Share on other sites
blondebarbie Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Hi guys, I tried the no contact thing, it's not working for me anyhow! I just don't know what else to do! It's like he doesn't want anything to do with me! I know it isn't this girls fault but I hate her! I hate her for being there with him! It hurts so much! I call him all the time! I think he is getting sick of me! I don't know what to do! I want to make things work out for both of us but I can't seem to concentrate on anything but him! I am so lost! Does anyone have any ideas to get him back? Link to post Share on other sites
virginia70065 Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 this is for blondebarbie: If you leave him alone, he might pay attention...if you bother him all of the time, he'll accuse you of being a psycho and that you're stalking him. So stop calling him and chasing after him, and see what happens. for timbo: I feel so bad for you and I admire your strength. I left my husband but it wasn't for "time and space" and all that. He just was too destructive towards me. He destroyed my self-esteem, my trust in men, my self-confidence....he was a human battering ram in more ways than that, too. He is still begging me, after 5 years, to return to him, that he's changed, etc. I tell you, the more he bugs me, the more I push him away. You've been the strong, silent one and that's what a woman needs--not a whiny little boy saying "I'll be good, I promise." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Timbo Posted April 19, 2004 Author Share Posted April 19, 2004 There's something I need to get out. It's come to my attention that my son has been spending time with "them" (the other man and my wife). He's also been instructed to lie to me about it. This came about in a conversation in which the name of a mutual aquaintance of ours was mentioned around my son and he was confused because it's also the same name as this other guy. This hurt because a) I didn't intend to use my son as a source of info to get all the "nitty gritty" on his mom. b) my son is being taught that lying to his father is right! While he was down, he called me by this other guy's name on 3 different occasions. For anyone with a kid, I don't have to say how painful this is. I've mentioned it to her, but it doesn't seem to really phase her at all. What should I do? I don't want a divorce, but my parental rights are being trampled on here. Tim Link to post Share on other sites
Author Timbo Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 I'm meeting with a lawyer today. I have to protect my parental rights. As much as it breaks my heart (and will continue to break for some time), the gloves have to come off. I know the chances of winning the custody of my son are bleak, but in the very least I want him to know that daddy loves him enough to fight for him. Crying, Tim Link to post Share on other sites
Author Timbo Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 If you guys don't mind, I'm going to just keep posting and letting this out as much as possible. I am going to be filing complaint for divorce on Thursday morning. I am feeling quite a bit of anguish over this decision - but I've decided that I have to do what I gotta do. If I wait much longer, the state she moved to will gain jurisdiction over my son and that will seriously be to a disadvantage when it comes to custody (versus his home state). Up until now, I've held fast to the position of not being the one who "pulls the plug". I had resolved to "stick to my guns" on keeping my family together. I can't do it by myself. The feeling of "FAILURE" is beginning to set in. I tried, but there's still the feeling that there's a stone left unturned somewhere. I'm guessing this is normal for such a life-changing decision. I love this woman with all of my heart, but I don't see any other way out of this situation. I feel like I am on a speeding train that I desperately want to get off of. I will be praying for wisdom. Tim Link to post Share on other sites
virginia70065 Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Oh, Timbo, I don't even know you but my heart breaks for you and your son. Just be there for him, love him, and let her go as much as you can. Your heart will mend, it will! Give it time....sending you prayers and support. Remember we're all here for you to try to help. You're taking the right steps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Timbo Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 Thank you, Virginia. Tomorrow will mark the beginning of a new life for me. I know the hardship isn't over by far, but I can see the light of day. I know that time will bring me a mended heart and perhaps a new (and greater?) love. I can't help but mourn the loss of the unity of my family, though. Crazily enough, though I reside in a Democratic state and was raised a Democrat, I may very well end up being a Republican afterall. Grinning and baring it, Tim Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts