jeffstar Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 heres the story, me and this girl have been pretty good friends, you know calling each other, texting alot and meeting up when we could. and ive falling for her, from now on, everyday that passes on i want to be with her even more. this story goes back a year or 2 ago when she started dating this guy i hated (also at this time start to develop a friendship and i kinda had a crush on her). i kinda felt sad and depressed because she dated the guy i hated, always wonder why i am starting to have mix feelings about her and we also started to talk alot less. Because of the way i felt i got into smoking and started to drink alot more often at parties or at friends houses. i was at the point in my life where i did not care about myself or anything else like school or my health, i was just happy that i didnt think about her. As months passed, me and her started to talk again and get alot closer, i felt really happy but sadden that she was still going out with the guy i hated, she knew i hated him so she never say much about him. i still continued my smoking and drinking. at one point she was having a small get together with her freinds, i was invited and she didnt invite her boyfriend, so i went.we socialized alot and me and her got drunk, we kissed and so on. the next day i asked her if she remebered what happened and she said no and stopped talking to me after that. from there on i got more invovled with drinking, smoking at parties with friends more often. until one day they broke up and she was really heartbroken and depressed. from there on we started to talk again and become really close friends. months later i quit everything cause she told me to and it make her more happier if i did. we'd call each other alot, and she would always say something like sometimes i treat you as if you were my bf or if something was wrong she would really care for me and vice versa i really cared for her when she was down. one night i told her i had strong feelings for her, she told me the over the past few weeks she also had feelings for me too but she didnt want to be in a relationship because she was still unsure due to her previous relationship and how it ended. i told her i understood that and that hopefully we could still continued to be good friends she said of course because i feel happy around you and youre my close friend. we got even more closer as time passed, we would hang out alot and say little mushy love things, i would hold her hand sometimes and put my arm around her, she wouldnt push away she would put her arm around me too or come closer. it made me feel...... happy, my heart pounding alot faster, i would also feel light headed and just couldnt help but to smile at her.:o recently her friends had introduced her to some new guys she starting to hang around them alot, we started to talk less as she would be busy or to tired to talk. ive started to kinda feel depressed and slightly angry (whichs makes me want to smoke, but i promised i wouldnt to her), i want to tell her something to make her notice i miss her HEAPS but i dont know what to say and i also cant tell her not to make friends with those people because thats rude and it is her life. what should i do now? what can i tell her? i dont want to lose her. im so lost in love:( any type of advice would be really nice. sorry if some of this post doesnt make sense or if it is too long or too short, its my first time posting something like this, so please try to understand. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 It sounds as if she's stringing you along. She has reservations about going forward in a relationship with you, yet she has no issues with meeting new guys with potential. If she really wanted to work on herself and be single, I don't think she'd be all too interested in meeting new guys. But that's just my opinion. When I'm in recovery mode, I don't actively seek out new girls. She's using you as an emotional tampon. When things are rough and she needs an Ego boost, she all of a sudden gets close to you. Then, when she feels better she drops you like a sack of potatoes. You need to figure out where she fits in your life. You have to drop the fear of losing her, as it may be an option. Do you want to always feel as crappy as you do now? If you were sick, you'd want to get rid of the virus. So what's the difference in this case? The lopsided feelings are hindering your growth as a human being. You need to realize things as they are, not as they should be. It is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeffstar Posted October 18, 2009 Author Share Posted October 18, 2009 hmm, i get you. maybe she is just using me as a rebound guy, but then again i remeber when i was really tired and stressed out, i told her how i was feeling through a text, she asked what was wrong but i feel alseep and the next morning, i called her and told sorry that i didnt reply cause i accidently fell asleep, she angirly said did you know how much i was worried about you and was thinking about you the whole night and i didnt sleep much. i was just speechless cause i didnt ever think she would care that much for me, but that was maybe 2-3 weeks ago, now we are drifting apart, i mean i love her and i dont to go far away from her. she is like the cure for my virus. she is the only one that ive ever felt, wanted to be with, and truly care for. ive met other girls and talked and hang with them before but i never really felt a 'spark' with them unlike her she makes me feel 'at home' and 'relaxed' im really not sure about anything anymore, she knows how i feel for her, she says she feels the same way but cant be in a relationship yet, due to her past, i get this because i know how her relationship ended it was a really bad and would make you almost trust no-one anymore :( but i cant just cut her out of my life... not just yet. but thx for the reply wtranger Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 i was just speechless cause i didnt ever think she would care that much for meHere's a key thing. Beware of a women making you believe she cares about you through words. Words are the female's tool. They manipulate and stir up emotions. If she had really cared, she would not have been angry but rather would have been worried (only) and possibly shown up on your doorstep when not hearing back from you. As proffered prior, you are likely a tampon, subset emotional. You'll have to pull the string on this one yourself. Emotional vampires rarely remove their tampons voluntarily Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Firstly, knock this girl off the throne you've put her on. Realize that she takes dumps that smell worse than anything you've ever crapped out. She's not some special queen, she's just a regular girl. Look at her actions for what they are, not for what you perceive them to be. Secondly, stop making up excuses for her not being with you. I've come to realize that people will crawl through rivers of broken glass to be with the one they want. You'd do it for her, but will she do it for you? It it isn't a yes-yes answer, then you are in a unrequited love ball of death. You need to straight up tell her your intentions. You want to be with her as more than a friend. If she is not ready for that, then you two cannot be anything else. It is by far too painful for you. Let her think about things, and just let her go. She's not the cure for your virus at this point, she is the cause. Link to post Share on other sites
memorygospel Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 First off I gotta say I understand you man cuz I know how you feel but this girl obviously isn't worth all this trouble and hell you've put yourself through if she can treat you like this. I mean you were the one that was there for her during the bad times and now she just decides to go and meet some new guys and forget about you, sorry dude but thats ****ed up. Honestly if I was in your shoes I'd try meeting some new girls to help forget about her and don't fall back into smoking and drinking too much, not cuz of her but for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Jada Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 (edited) I have to agree with what W T Ranger wrote, she may be the cure to you but to be honest we see it differently. It's hard to see reality when we have the love goggles on everything looks rosy. Anyhow I'm not you and I'm not going through your situation, there will be another girl who will give you that spark it's just she's not available or nowhere to be found at the moment, she's in the future. You've layed down your cards and told her and now it seems like there's new guys in her life, if that isn't getting kicked in the balls I don't know what else is. Anyhow hope things work out for you either way. Edited October 21, 2009 by Jada Link to post Share on other sites
OndaChin Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 You have my sympathy but you my friend have been defined as a 'Cuddle Bitch' - see link: http://www.laddertheory.com/laddermanifestations.htm My advice - cut all ties and remove yourself from this very bad situation. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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