Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 Are you kidding me?? After all the time and effort you've invested in figuring out which dress you want? It's your wedding. Wear what you want to wear. It's not like the dress is an off-the-cuff decision. Thank your mom for her opinion and go on. Yeah, that's why I went without her to look at dresses. I went with her ONE TIME and I felt like I was going to die because she told me how ugly all the dresses I tried on looked and she forced me to try on dresses I didn't even like. So I decided I would pick out the dress myself and tell her about it. I even told her I would pay for it if she was so against it but she said she would still pay for it. That kind of sucks though knowing my mom hates my dress and thinks it's ugly. So on my wedding day she'll be lying when she says I look beautiful. :( Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Yeah, that's why I went without her to look at dresses. I went with her ONE TIME and I felt like I was going to die because she told me how ugly all the dresses I tried on looked and she forced me to try on dresses I didn't even like. So I decided I would pick out the dress myself and tell her about it. I even told her I would pay for it if she was so against it but she said she would still pay for it. That kind of sucks though knowing my mom hates my dress and thinks it's ugly. So on my wedding day she'll be lying when she says I look beautiful. :( Wow.. really.. it's YOUR wedding.. why would you choose YOUR dress to please your mother.. Did she actually told you that this dress is ugly? or are you just supposing she will find it ugly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 Wow.. really.. it's YOUR wedding.. why would you choose YOUR dress to please your mother.. Did she actually told you that this dress is ugly? or are you just supposing she will find it ugly? No, she actually told me she thought it was..based on the pictures I sent her (the ones in my profile). She hasn't even seen the dress ACTUALLY on me!!! She said it looked "cheap" and the lace was ugly and gawdy. Oh, she doesn't like the bridesmaids dress I chose either... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 No, she actually told me she thought it was..based on the pictures I sent her (the ones in my profile). She hasn't even seen the dress ACTUALLY on me!!! She said it looked "cheap" and the lace was ugly and gawdy. Oh, she doesn't like the bridesmaids dress I chose either... Oh well... then she'll just have to go with YOUR choice... you just have to agree that you have completely different taste for clothes.. period. I find it very sad though that your mother is so negative.. she should support you.. not be against you on that special day. very sad.. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Your mother is human and fallible. With this in mind, her taste is also fallible and from the sounds of it, if she's talking ballgown for you, not in your best interests. Do what feels right for you. This is YOUR wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Two little anecdotes: Both sets of parents are scandalized by the date of our wedding. I won't get into why right now but we were adamant for one reason and they've fallen into line.My Mom doesn't like my dress. That's okay. I've still bought it and will be wearing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 My mom hates the dress. She said it was ugly and gaudy. She said it had way too much lace and it looked tacky. She is obsessed with me having a ballgrown/pick up dress even though she said it's "up to me." She doesn't really mean it though, she wants me to wear what SHE likes. Ugh, I feel like total crap now. :(:( Awww sweetie I'm so sorry your mom is being a poop. The dress is stunning and you look absolutely beautiful in it. Tell your mom how much this has hurt your feelings. Let her know how you tried on dresses all over town and never thought you would like this style but once you tried it on - you loved it! Ask her to go see it with you. Call ahead and let the lady that was so helpful at the store know the situation and let her help. Try on some other dresses and then the one you like - if your mom has a decent bone in her body - she will then swoon. Its not on the same level but my daughter sent a picture of a prom dress she wanted and I did not think it was very flattering. Thank God - she sent the pic from her camera phone so I had a minute to myself before I talked to her but when she told me how much she loved it and I went with her to see it in person. I gushed!! And, yes, I cried. She beamed with happiness and looked absolutely beautiful. So, your mom blew it. Maybe that is her way - you know if it is. But if she can take a second to get over herself - she will see how beautiful and radiant you look in the dress. Hang in there sweetie! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 LB... Your mom is probably trying to re-live her wedding day through you. I bet you she imagined herself in a princess dress, and that didn't happen when she found herself before the JOP. She wants her baby to be a princess, the princess she wanted to be, and the princess she pictures as one. Once she sees you in the dress, with the glow on your face and the "this is it" look in your eyes, she'll shut up. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Don't let it worry you too much right this second. Your mom does have a point - sometimes laces CAN be cheap and polyestery feeling and looking. She, however, does have one problem - she hasn't seen it. You have, and so you KNOW that it is great. Don't fret over it tonight, and get up tomorrow with a fresh outlook on this. Put on some make-up, fluff your hair so you can practice with veils, and go off with your mom to SHOW her that the dress is lovely and the lace is beautiful. It will all work out fine in the end. (((((LB))))) Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 She might be also pitching a teeny hissy and withholding positive reinforcement from you if she feels hurt or left out from being with you on all your shopping forays. I know your reasons for not wanting her there, but that doesn't help HER feelings. So actually, tomorrow when she comes to pick you up (or you go to her house, or whatever), ask her to stop for a second, and fix you each a cup of tea. Tell her that you want to talk about your dress, and tell her that you thought that perhaps her feelings were hurt, and that you are sorry and didn't realize that you would just stumble on the dress that you love so quickly, and that you value her experience and opinions and that you love her very much, and are thrilled that she is going with you to see it in person. Weddings are very funny things to people - there are dreams of the parent that conflict with the dreams of the child, and there is also a profound sense of loss at seeing your child grow up and take that final step of independence. Couple that with the realization that the parent is feeling her own age and that she will be losing her value to society as being "Laurie's mother", and you can get a menopausal woman with lots and lots of conflicting emotions. So - hard as it may be - reach out to your mom in love, because at the end of the day, all she really wants is your happiness, and while it can be easier sometimes to avoid confrontation, it can cause upset - which is never good at a wedding! Foster as much closeness as you can now, because as wedding time gets closer, it will get tenser!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 31, 2009 Author Share Posted October 31, 2009 Im getting cold feet!!! Maybe because it's actually being BOUGHT tommorrow and there isn't any going back. Words of encouragement please? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Cold feet on the dress, or on the wedding? When is the wedding again? To be perfectly honest, you have stressed over this choice so much that I wonder if you really DO feel that it is the perfect dress for you. Do you HAVE to purchase it tomorrow in order for timing? I know that most wedding dress companies will allow a rush order (for extra money), and I also know that there are beautiful (and very expensive gowns) that may be bought off the peg at huge discounts as they are samples, that can be altered within a month or so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 31, 2009 Author Share Posted October 31, 2009 Cold feet on the dress, or on the wedding? When is the wedding again? To be perfectly honest, you have stressed over this choice so much that I wonder if you really DO feel that it is the perfect dress for you. Do you HAVE to purchase it tomorrow in order for timing? I know that most wedding dress companies will allow a rush order (for extra money), and I also know that there are beautiful (and very expensive gowns) that may be bought off the peg at huge discounts as they are samples, that can be altered within a month or so. Cold feet on the dress. Not because I dont like it, my mom just made me feel a little bad I guess. I don't alter it. We don't HAVE to purchase it today, but it takes 6-7 months to get ordered and I need to have time to order it. I know I can buy dresses off the rack but I don't think they have them in smaller sizes. I don't know, I'll just have to see. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 What matters LB is how YOU feel about the dress. You love that dress and you look absolutely stunning in it. Take a good friend whose opinion you trust with you to try the dress on again and then see how you feel. But don't just change your mind because of what your mother has said. This is your wedding so what you and your fiance want is the priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 So how did it go LB? Did you buy the dress? Did your mom see it in person? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 So how did it go LB? Did you buy the dress? Did your mom see it in person? No, my mom isn't coming until Thursday now. I decided against the dress, I found another one that I like so much more. It looks great too! The problem with that dress is that the train just isn't long enough. I found a dress by Maggie Scottero that the train can be extended by 6 inches, therefore it can be made into a cathedral train. I have this dream of myself in a long train, I can't help it! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 So do we get to see a picture? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 So do we get to see a picture? The pics are under the album "Maggie Scottero." I was only able to upload 2 of them, the pics were really big in dimensions for some reason even after I tried to crop them. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I still like the lace one better.... Link to post Share on other sites
MindoverMatter Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I still like the lace one better.... Same here... Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I still like the lace one better.... Me too - LB don't be swayed just because you think your mother might like this new one more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 It wasn't my mom, if that was the dress for me I wouldn't have gotten cold feet about buying it. I didn't like that it didn't have a long train, that's the main reason why I like the other one better. Plus the lace one doesn't look as much like a wedding dress to me, it looks more like an evening gown. I feel like I have to love every aspect of the dress, I don't want to wear the wrong gown. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I still like the lace one better.... Agreed. This other one seems a little...bland. The lace one was unique...is your mum the reason for your change of heart LB? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Share Posted November 2, 2009 Agreed. This other one seems a little...bland. The lace one was unique...is your mum the reason for your change of heart LB? Not really, if it was the dress for me I wouldn't have even cared what she thought I think. Like I said the train wasn't long enough. I want a big beautiful train. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 LB, the lace one is a million times more flattering, the strapless style is not the most flattering style on you. And it DOES look like a wedding dress. The most recent one looks cheaper IMHO. Don't forget that a train is only a small part of the dress that won't show in the majority of your photos- but the fitted upper part of the dress frames your face and is the part that needs to be the most flattering to your shape as possible as it will show in everything. Link to post Share on other sites
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