sweetmind20 Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 hello, my fiance and i are very happy and are the best of friends. we tell each other almost everything and i feel confident in my choice as a partner. the thing is, for the past few years that we have been together i have had this gut feeling that something terrible happened to him when he was a child. perhaps sexual abuse or being exposed to something like that at a young age. i don't know how i know this but i somehow feel it deep down. he had told me once when we first were involved that his father had brought home a prosititute one time when he was little. he never spoke of it again,and sadly, i never questioned things.. i've thought of instances where i wanted to confront him about this, but i'm scared that he'll freak out or if i'm wrong, he will feel uncomfortable around me. i know we should have had this out in the open before we got engaged but i know that abuse as a child can be a shameful secret for many.. maybe he is too ashamed to tell me. he has never hurt me, and i know he never would. i need to resolve this feeling inside of me before i head to the alter... but i don't know how to approach him.. help. please. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 well you seem very concerned, so tell him basically what you wrote. He may not tell you though, it could be something he has felt shame about and might think you will reject him..even though you most likely will not. also he may tell you later on. i would just ask, like your post, and if he doesn't want to discuss it leave it alone and he may tell you later, at least he will know you are concerned and care. as for me, i am more of a question answerer...so if someone where to ask my something about a problem i would be more likely to respond. Link to post Share on other sites
watered-red Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Everyone should have his own secret. If something happened to him many years ago,and that memory makes him painful,Pls don't touch that memory in his mind. He won't tell you about what happened in his childhood, so he must has his reasons. Understand him,so don't hurt him again. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 I agree with Tattoomytoe he might think you'll reject him if you find out if he's hiding something from you. Especially if you think that what he might be hiding may effect the way he is when you two have kids which probably isn't the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 I would let it be for now. It may be that he's just not ready to open up that can of worms, so to speak. Let him do it in his own time. If he doesn't, respect that. Childhood abuse leaves behind some nasty scars and everyone has their own unique way of dealing with them. When and if he wants to confide in you, he will. Link to post Share on other sites
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