Friend-Girl that I want to become more with.

[cooper101]

This is a fairly complicated situation. I used to go to school with this girl. I didn't really get to know her very well until she started to work at my place of work. Seeing as we started to work together we started to talk a lot more. Since she is a very pretty girl, she has been flirted with from many guys who we work with.

 

I guess I should say now that this girl is a virgin (if that matters) and she has never been in a relationship before. It has been made pretty obvious that she does want a relationship.

 

Now, all the guys that have flirted with her have been shut down in some way. Whether it has been because of age, being annoying, texting her all the time, not being outgoing enough, or not making a move, one of these reasons has always ended any sort of chance my co-workers have had.

 

A couple months later, pretty much every guy at work has tried and failed with her. Yet me, still causally talking to her and not making anything out of it, is still hanging around. It wasn't until a week or so ago that I really found myself falling for this girl. I simply cannot get her out of my mind. I finally decided to ask her out to play some pool. She said she couldn't because of her busy schedule, but she totally wanted to. Sure enough, she texted me a couple days later and asked me to come over to her place to play some pool.

 

Now before any of you guys say, OMG! THAT IS TOTALLY AN IN!!! know this. She has had numerous of the guys before me over to her place. It is pretty obvious that guys coming over to her house and meeting her parents is nothing major. I should note that when she introduced me to her parents, she introduced me as "Kevin, from Mobile Audio (the department I work at at work). We didn't really do much at her house except watch some TV and talk about how a bunch of other guys are frustrating her because they keep talking to her.

 

Right now I am thinking that she really is oblivious to the whole love thing. I don't think she realizes that these guys are talking to her because they like her and that by inviting them over she is giving them the wrong idea.

 

I just basically need a "next move." The afternoon after we hung out, I texted her thanking her for inviting me over, and she never replied. Do you guys have any idea what is going on here? And what could possibly going on inside her head? Please help!

[WTRanger]

Your next move should be to move on to a girl who isn't a tease. Think about it, you are just the last in line of several dudes who have failed with her. She's the doorknob of where she works. Everyone has had a turn! She's an emotional and an attention whore, if not a real slut. I HIGHLY doubt she's a virgin. Unless you've got first hand knowledge, it's just a fake-ass story of her's to get guys to fawn over her.

 

She's talking to you about other guys, bad sign. You are dead in the water with her. To her, you are a girlfriend with a penis or a Ken to her Barbie. Ken isn't anatomically correct, there for he is safe. Move on.

 

Look at this in a situation if it was one of your guy friends asking you for advice with this girl from work. What would you say?

[cooper101]

I guess you are right. Several of the guys have gotten pretty far with her though. I'm pretty sure she is a tease, but I know there is a part of her that isn't. I do believe that she is a virgin but I agree with the fact she loves attention.

 

I want to straighten this girl out. Is there a way to tell her why what she is doing is unreasonable and call her out on it without being too much of a *******?

[Odyssey]

I want to straighten this girl out. Is there a way to tell her why what she is doing is unreasonable and call her out on it without being too much of a *******?

I don't think you should straighten this girl out because she hasn't done anything wrong to you. Just because a lot of guys are hitting on her. It's her life whether it's good or bad, she has the right to make her own choices. If you were her bf then obviously you can step in because it would directly affect you.

 

Look, you like her, right? So why don't you just ask her out?

Edited October 19, 2009 by Odyssey

[WTRanger]

I agree with Odyssey, she's not going to change her lifestyle just because you demand it. You just need to establish your directive with her. You want to date her, not be friends with her. Do not settle for anything less, but know that you'll more than likely get the "just friends" talk.

 

This girl sounds very young and therefore very naive. She could still be thinking that all of these guys giving her attention are doing so because they want to be friends with her and not just doing it to have first crack at her virginity. She'll learn down the road of life that when you are the work place bicycle, it's not a good reputation to have. Its not her being "popular", its her being labeled other things. Its her putting herself in a very dangerous situation. But that's not for you to try to fix.

 

How can this girl not be a tease? She may not realize what she is doing, but she's still doing it. I think there are much less complicated fish in the sea. Look at this situation for what it is. She's teased or shot down every guy in front of you. What makes you think this will go any differently for you?

[cooper101]

Yeah it is doubtful I will. I intend on asking when we work together next anyways. I figure I need to be shut down to get her off my mind.

 

What Ranger said is on the money. She is completely naive. Or atleast she seems like it. I don't think she has a damned clue what she is doing. She even showed me messages she was recieving from another guy who clearly likes her, even I can tell via the text messages and she just asked me: "Why does he keep talking to me?"

 

That summed it up for me pretty well. This girl just doesn't know what is going on.

 

And yes, she is blonde.

 

Sorry.