Is he still interested?

[IrishGirl]

A little more than a month ago, I met a guy. We've been out 6 times since we've met and all dates have just been wonderful! My question is this:

He claims he is very busy. He ownes his own wholesale business which requires long hours (early and late) - weekend work and otherwise. We talk on the phone once - maybe twice a week and only see eachother once a week.

My concern is that for me (I'm a busy person myself) if I really like a person, I'll MAKE TIME to spend with that person. I am getting a little, well...annoyed because I can't really get to know him more than what it is.

He says he isn't dating anyone else but me.

With the thanksgiving holiday - it will be going up on 2 weeks since I've seem him, but we talked on the phone 3 days ago. His last comment to me was that he's a busy person, doesn't know when he'll see me next and is sorry. He said "your probably thinking: why am I wasting my time with this guy"

The holidays are the busiest time of year for him and he said that Jan. things slow down.

 

I feel like he's blowing me off - by saying he's busy all the time but I can't be too sure. I like him a lot myself and would hope the chemistry is mutual. I emailed him 2 days ago with no response.

Am I just over analyzing things, or am I really just "wasting my time."

I should also mention that we've slept together 2 times in the past 5 weeks - and got very intimate on our first date.

 

Comments welcome. I guess I'm a little cynical from my last relationship of 3 years. Speaking of which - my exboyfriend just came to me last week professing his love for another woman he's been dating. I didn't think I deserve to hear all the BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY, WONDERFUL things this woman has offered him that i wasn't able to in all our 3 intense special years together.

men - they are confusing!!!

[lost_in_chgo]

He may be just trying to let you down easy and drift away.

 

Next time you talk to him, offer your help in his work. Don't be surprised if he declines, because the holiday season is REALLY hectic and he might not be able to spend the time to train you that it would take for him to get a payback.

 

Remember that the business is something that will be paying the bills. Not just something he does to fill his time.

Can you spend time during the day? Lunch or something?

[midori]

Originally posted by IrishGirl

my exboyfriend just came to me last week professing his love for another woman he's been dating. I didn't think I deserve to hear all the BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY, WONDERFUL things this woman has offered him that i wasn't able to in all our 3 intense special years together.

men - they are confusing!!!

 

They sure are. An ex of mine broke up with me, refused to communicate with me for more than a year, during which time he met someone else, fell head over heels in love, got dumped. He got in touch with me, two days before my birthday, to give me a little update about his life and tell me that he was still hoping to get back together with The Love of His Life. No inquiries about what I was up to. No mention of my birthday. Incredibly galling.

 

As for your new guy, I do subscribe to the theory that if you want to spend time with someone you will find a way to do so. But there could be a few different reasons as to why he's not making that time for you. Maybe he doesn't want to get sucked into a serious relationship too soon, or maybe not at all. There could be any number of reasons.

 

I think it might be best to be straightforward with him. Tell him that you know it's a really busy time for him, and you can appreciate how he might not have the time or energy to go out on lengthy dates more than once a week -- but maybe you two could find some other snippets of time to hang out. Could you do lunch, or an afternoon coffee? Could you meet at 9:30 p.m. for an hour over drinks? Doesn't have to be a full-blown "date."

[Girlie]

I think it's something you could discuss with him. Have the two of you had discussions about what you're both looking for in a relationship? It could be that he just doesn't have the time for something serious, but does enjoy your company when he has time and wants to date you when he has the free time. That's definitely something you need to find out before things go any farther. Find out what he wants or what he's looking to get out of this relationship, compare it to what you want, and then go from there. If you two aren't on the same page, it's better to find out now.

[IrishGirl]

OK, about the exboyfriend having a new relationship (read the beginning)....WHY DO I FEEL SO LOUSY!!!!??????????????????

I mean, I was honestly OVER the guy, days would go by where he didn't even cross my mind.

But, when he told me of this new proclaimed precious love of his I felt like wreching, nauscious....like my heart was going to shoot from my chest and spatter on the wall - like i was going to explode - I was so angry, like seriously angry. I mean - how can he just forget about the 3 years, the shopping for rings, the plans, the everything over this relationship?

I thought I was over him, I WAS. but the feeling I'm having now is so much worse than the day we broke up - I am not exactly sure why, I may be jealous - like he's put me through so much emotional crisis and he DOESN'T DESERVE to be happy. I deserve it. I never did anything wrong!! I am flabergasted! when is my turn to find totaly happiness going to happen!

I was on my way until this blow. Now - not only am I potentially "dumped" by this new guy - but I was also shot in the head and kicked in the crotch by my ex. I don't sleep because racing through my mind is thoughts of those two being how we once were.

I want to see what she looks like, I wan't to spy - I want to sabotage thier relationship...is this normal?????

[reasontosigh]

Am quite curious about the situation ("Mr. Busy") described in the first post, but I guess it'll be another week or so before there's an update, eh? Might be in a similar situation myself, but I have a bit of a longer wait till I find out for certain how things stand.

 

I've worked for wholesalers and retailers at various times in my life, and things should slow down in January after year-end inventories have been completed.

 

Don't know what to say about the "Mr. Ex" situation, however - sorry.