Will men love women to take the initiative in sex?

[violaaa]

Hello, I hope to seek some advice about sex relationship, thanks:)

 

My bf is always waiting for me to take the initiative to trigger off the sex process in making love. My sexual drive is high and I am always doing so. But I really enjoy the other way round where he plays a dorminant role. I have suggesteds many times but he still sit there to wait till me initiates it. He is though responsive, but I dont know how to change this pattern. Are men usually like this? What can I do to convert our roles?

[Ronni_W]

Well...you know the schpiel about "we can only change ourselves", yes?

 

So really. Stop giving in to your high sex drive, give your guy the time to get horny according to his own needs, and then...

You're suggesting that he initiate but you're not giving him the time that he needs, to do so. It sounds as if your desire for instant (sexual) gratification may need to be curbed a bit.

[violaaa]

Thank you for your advices, they are very insightful. Since my bf is a very hard working guy, he has usually been very tired after work. And during the only holiday of the week, he is also very keen to watch sports. He said he liked sex with me anytime we felt want it, but so far I seem to be more keen than him. Maybe I am having more free time and energy?

 

I want to have more discussion with him about this issue, but somehow I think if I say more to make it unnatural, he would be losing more desire than it should be. Oh really quite confused.

[Bumble]

My fiance was the same way when it came to initiating the deed. I would really just talk to him about it. Ask if there's anything you can do to make him more comfortable with initiating. If you come across as "You will initiate and be dominant! Do as I say!" it will most likely backfire. I would start first by asking him to talk about some "sensitive" issues to get his undivided attention, then start with something positive about the way he handles sex (since that will make him more open to suggestions and/or criticisms) and then bring up your concerns/needs with him. Good luck!

[ADF]

The beauty of having a woman initiate sex is that you don't have to worry about her feeling forced, about her just doing it to please you, about her not being in the mood. Her actions make it clear it is something she wants. Maybe your BF is just a little shy.

[Devil Inside]

I think in most relationships you have this dynamic to some degree. I feel you. In my marriage I am the one with the higher drive and the more aggressive one, so I initiate most of the time. When she does it is a big turn on because on the surface it is a novelty and it is hot to see her aggressive..however, I imagine it really hits deeper...to the fact that it shows that she had a desire for me sexually.

 

I often wonder what it would be like to be with a woman that had a similar drive. I had a lover that was as "driven" as me. It was pretty great...but it was long distance so when we saw each other we were craving each other..so hard to see this dynamic really play out.

 

I would say on this one maybe wait out a little longer then usual. Maybe make some naughty comments earlier in the day or something, or a text. Or wear something subtle that you know will get to him.

 

Good luck...keep us posted.

[violaaa]

I did try to avoid initiating but present as darlingly near him during his holiday. He said,' You are so lovely, we do have our time after this program'. I felt annoyed but still be patient to wait till its end. I tried to be patient but clinged to him in the whole process. He did look at me during break and kiss me slightly.

When the program was over, he asked if we were to have our time. I said yes and asked what he wanted. He said he would want what I wanted. We finally did it greatly, but I was still the one to say I wanted it.