Quinch Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 (edited) Yesterday my brother told me that my eight-year-old nephew is being bullied at school. He gets hit and his clothes are torn by a gang of kids who he would like to hang out with because he thinks they're 'cool'. My brother wants to teach him a few moves to hit back but my mum, who is a strict Christian, is horrified at the idea and believes that this will make my nephew worse than the bullies. She thinks he should 'turn the other cheek' and walk away and tell a teacher but, as we all know, teachers never do anything about it. I would be interested to hear from the Christians here as to what approach he should take. Should he just walk away or stand up to bullies, even if it means hitting back? Edited October 19, 2009 by Quinch Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 What the hell, how would it make him worse than the bullies? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 As far as the teachings of Jesus are concerned; turn the other cheek does not imply to take a beating and give a fresh area to bruise. "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:39 To "turn the other cheek" goes back to the belief that the left side of the body was the "unclean" side of the body. So if someone struck your right cheek and you turned the left to them, they would be forced to touch your unclean side to do you further harm. As far as the christian thing to do? Ummmm, smite them down with brimstone most likely. Perhaps burn the bullies at a stake? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 I can see where she is coming from re: being as bad as the bullies- unfortunately if kids fight back they often end up being the ones getting disciplined. Telling teachers doesn't often help- either they do nothing or the act of telling makes the bullying worse. And putting up with it is no good either! My personal opinion would be to stand up to them. But I am not a christian. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 As far as the teachings of Jesus are concerned; turn the other cheek does not imply to take a beating and give a fresh area to bruise. "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:39 To "turn the other cheek" goes back to the belief that the left side of the body was the "unclean" side of the body. So if someone struck your right cheek and you turned the left to them, they would be forced to touch your unclean side to do you further harm. As far as the christian thing to do? Ummmm, smite them down with brimstone most likely. Perhaps burn the bullies at a stake? I'd love a source or reference to that little snippet. Just out of interest. I'm not being argumentative, nor am I a Christian, I'm just curious as to where that info stems from! Quinch, hitting people as a form of instigating aggression, is wrong, but self-defence comes in many forms. I am of the opinion that contrary popular opinion, bullying is taken seriously - but sometimes it takes an adult to make a fuss on a child's behalf.... Your cousin's mother and father should be doing something. Are they aware this is going on? It's not up to your brother to take a stand on this.... Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Some Christians are strict pacifist, most are not. One of the apostles did after all have a sword to draw blood with when Jesus was arrested. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 If this is an ongoing thing, call the cops for chrissakes! A day in juvi court and some fines will tighten those little brats up but good. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 (edited) The bible is not against defending yourself. In many places the bible advocates fighting back against aggression (between nations), and implies that it is honorable to defend your home and country. Bullying is the same conflict, just on a miniature scale. I am the oldest of three boys and I've done my fair share of fighting on their behalf. In the long run though the answer was to teach them confidence and athleticism- and they took care of themselves after that. My youngest brother found a new group of friends through sports, and the confidence came with being good at something. People stopped screwing with him. My advice would be to get him into some training. They have little league MMA now of days. He would meet lots of like minded kids that could be his friends, he would gain confidence, and he would lose his fear of taking a hit because he'd be playing a contact sport. MMA is not about violence, it's just like any other competitive sport. If it was around when I was younger I would have loved to have gotten into it instead of football and baseball. To add... my grandpa is a Pastor at the church I used to attend. He was never an advocate for taking a beating. His rule was "If you let anyone whoop your ass, I'm going to whoop your ass myself." My fear of him was greater than my fear of anything I ran into elsewhere in life. If it's always a group of them, and he never even has a chance, then that's a different story- the school and the law should be involved. If they write it off as 'part of childhood', get a lawyer. Edited October 19, 2009 by TheLoneSock Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Whatever happened to 'An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth'? Isn't that in the bible that Christians read? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Whatever happened to 'An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth'? Isn't that in the bible that Christians read? That's Old Testament. Christians aren't bound by OT law, as I understand it. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Christians are followers of Christ and study the new testament. Jews are followers of David and study the old testament. Two different specific followings, two different books. Much can be learned from both though. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Christians are followers of Christ and study the new testament. Jews are followers of David and study the old testament. Two different specific followings, two different books. Much can be learned from both though. That's not exactly true. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 (edited) That's not exactly true. If you have nothing to add that helps the OP, don't add at all. I doubt he wants to hear from a Darwinist anyway. If you want to debate religion start a new thread and I'll find you there. Edited October 19, 2009 by TheLoneSock Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Darwinism could be applied here- survival of the fittest, the fittest being the kid that packs the biggest punch. Just sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Darwinism could be applied here- survival of the fittest, the fittest being the kid that packs the biggest punch. Just sayin'. I totally agree it could, I almost went off on a tangent because of it. But the OP is searching for Christian opinions so I'm just trying to be respectful of that. Link to post Share on other sites
knaveman Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Funny how everyone thinks "fighting back" has to be with fists and violence. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Funny how everyone thinks "fighting back" has to be with fists and violence. Where did you read about fists and violence? Link to post Share on other sites
knaveman Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Where did you read about fists and violence? I guess I misunderstood. Oops. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Well, in fairness, it seems implied by some, and when people discuss 'self-defence' they generally think of "protecting yourself by giving as good as you get"..... So although nobody has mentioned it specifically, I would suggest that Knaveman is not far off the mark. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Well, in fairness, it seems implied by some, and when people discuss 'self-defence' they generally think of "protecting yourself by giving as good as you get"..... That's what I was thinking off, I think it's what most people think of as well. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 If you have nothing to add that helps the OP, don't add at all. I doubt he wants to hear from a Darwinist anyway. If you want to debate religion start a new thread and I'll find you there. I meant to add that some Christians do follow the OT and believe in many of the Laws. I was simply pointing out that there are different beliefs. The rest of your reply needs no comment, but thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Funny how everyone thinks ;fighting back has to be with fists and violence. Among eight year old boys it does. And at that age girls are still able to hd their own in a fight. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Christian novelist Frank Peretti wrote a fantastic book on bullying, called No More Bullies – from what I recall, at the back of the book he gave a list of resources for parents, victims and perpetrators to consult. Really good stuff, based on the premise that people bully because they refuse to see God in their victim ... Your SIL might get some good ideas from this book. you might also remind her that Jesus chased the money-changers from the temple ... Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 I'd love a source or reference to that little snippet. Just out of interest. I'm not being argumentative, nor am I a Christian, I'm just curious as to where that info stems from! Quinch, hitting people as a form of instigating aggression, is wrong, but self-defence comes in many forms. I am of the opinion that contrary popular opinion, bullying is taken seriously - but sometimes it takes an adult to make a fuss on a child's behalf.... Your cousin's mother and father should be doing something. Are they aware this is going on? It's not up to your brother to take a stand on this.... I called the fellow who owned the books you're asking reference to; he is an old ex and has not returned my call. This translation was not something I learned on Teh Intarwebs, so it isn't such an easy thing to link. I will contact you with the info when he gets back to me. Till then, all I can say is he was a seminary school drop out and Theology hobbyist. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I read this thread awhile back and just couldn't come up with anything for this post, until now. As it dawned on me back then, I fail to see the need for a "Christian" response, or any religion for that matter. What is needed in this case is an adult response. This child needs an adult advocate to help bring this situation to an end. If that involves meeting with the other parents, the police, counselling, all of these combined - this is what needs to happen. I am in the group that believes that bullying is needed to be handled head on. Not hoping that it will go away on its own, or that the poor kid being bullied grows a spine. I was bullied as a child - but usually never longer than a week or so. I did exactly what I am advocating here (in addition to being a bit fiesty myself, though) - I got an adult with some authority involved. I hope this situation is being handled and that things are getting better for the child. Link to post Share on other sites
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