I don't know .

[Ariadne88]

My boyfriend (Jared) and I have been together for 3 years, and for the most part it's been great. He takes care of me financially and makes me laugh everyday. He loves me with all his heart and says he is willing to do anything for me. I was so in love with him and had no doubt in my mind that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Then 2 weeks ago I went through a messed up family situation which I won't go into. So we spent that weekend with friends partying (trying to get my mind off things). One of those nights I started hyperventilating for no reason so I went outside for fresh air. When I was outside a picture flashed in my head, and I freaked out and started crying uncontrollably. I ran to the backyard so no one would hear me, but then his best friend (Steve) found me. He listened to me rave for a few minutes, then Jared came out looking for me and instead of comforting me he got mad at me for crying on someone else’s shoulder. That made me sink into a deeper depression, so I started thinking about all the things in our relationship that I let go. I think that main problem in our relationship is his drinking and selfishness. Later that night Jared, Steve and I went home. Jared passed out and Steve and I talked about how we felt about each other and had sex. I think the biggest problem is that I don't regret it. I feel bad about lying to Jared, but not cheating on him. I told Jared that I didn't want to get married yet, and that got his attention so he really listened to the things I had to say. We are working on our relationship and I'm hoping that I will regain my feelings for him, but I still think of Steve all the time I can't get him out of my head. I don't know what to do.

Edited October 19, 2009 by Ariadne88

[Dark-Farmer]

no matter what your best friend should never sleep with your girlfriend. I think Jared needs a new girlfriend and a new best friend.

[imagine]

I puzzled too. Why did you not first speak to your boyfriend.

 

Tell your b/f what you have done. Apologize. Separately, discuss his drinking. Best friend has just put another notch in his condom. You will be history quiet quickly after the breakup. Good for a couple of extra pumps I'm sure. Wake up!

 

You level of temptation seems very low to me at this stage. Do not be surprised if someone calls you a Ho.

 

I would say that you have very low self esteem.

[lostsunsets]

So you had an argument with your boyfriend. Then you spread your legs for his best friend. You're quite a catch aren't you?

[sb129]

You owe it to your BF to tell him the truth.

 

Let him decide whether he wants to stay with a GF who would so willingly sleep with his best friend as soon as the going gets tough.

re: marriage- it shouldn't be your decision to make anymore anyway.

[lkjh]

If anyone else needs a reason why men don't want to get married?

 

Summarized version of story(if this isn't a troll), your bf caught you flirting with his "friend" and got mad so you banged his friend. Don't marry him, break up with him so he can find a chick that doesn't bang any guy that pretends to listen to her sob stories.

[Dexter Morgan]

One of those nights I started hyperventilating for no reason so I went outside for fresh air. When I was outside a picture flashed in my head, and I freaked out and started crying uncontrollably. I ran to the backyard so no one would hear me, but then his best friend (Steve) found me. He listened to me rave for a few minutes, then Jared came out looking for me and instead of comforting me he got mad at me for crying on someone else’s shoulder.

 

First you act surprised that your bf caught you snogging up to another guy....then you say later you f####d Steve. Uh...I think your bf was right to be upset. Seems he can sense what you are all about.

 

 

That made me sink into a deeper depression, so I started thinking about all the things in our relationship that I let go. I think that main problem in our relationship is his drinking and selfishness.

 

ah, so this is your bf's fault and you feel justified in boning Steve. nice...real nice.

 

 

 

Later that night Jared, Steve and I went home. Jared passed out and Steve and I talked about how we felt about each other and had sex. I think the biggest problem is that I don't regret it.

 

well enough then...you cheated on your bf, you don't regret it....so set your bf free from you and break up with him.

 

 

 

I feel bad about lying to Jared, but not cheating on him.

 

thats a little backwards dont you think?

nah, you are a cheater...I guess its not suppose to make sense.

 

 

I told Jared that I didn't want to get married yet

 

how about you tell him you don't want to get married to him EVER?

 

 

 

and that got his attention so he really listened to the things I had to say. We are working on our relationship and I'm hoping that I will regain my feelings for him, but I still think of Steve all the time I can't get him out of my head. I don't know what to do.

 

You should break up with Jared. he is working on a relationship with a "woman" that cheated on him, doesn't regret it, and I gather you won't come clean and tell him.

 

So basically you are letting Jared believe he is the only problem in this relationship...even though you are a cheater.

 

There is nothing to work on here. If you can cheat, lie, and keep your cheating from him, then you are forcing him to work on the relationship as if he is the problem and you are this innocent angel.

 

Sorry, you need to set Jared free so he can find someone that won't lie and cheat on him, and blackmail him into thinking he is the only problem and he is the only one that needs to change.

[Bryanp]

How would you feel if your best female friend, boyfriend and you went home and you feel asleep in your home? Your boyfriend then has sex with your girlfriend in your home while you are sleeping? Your boyfriend has been taking care of you for 3 years and you repay him by screwing his best friend in your home while your boyfriend is passed out. You have totally humiliated and disrespect your boyfriend in the worst was possible. You have not only put your boyfriend at risk for STD's and now refuse to tell him the truth. Do him a big favor and get a job, tell him the truth, move out so he can find someone else who does not get off humiliating him the way you do. Nobody deserves to be humiliated like this. You are a real piece of work.

[Javelin]

I don't know what to do.

 

1) Tell Jared the truth about you and Steve.

- This will be hard, but it must be done. You've just cheated on your already suspecting boyfriend and you question why he was upset?

 

Note - NEVER cry on another man's shoulder, PERIOD!

 

2) Stay single

- You aren't relationship material right now and obviously have things that you need to work out. Get to an independent point in your life and then start dating again.

 

3) While Single, seek counseling.

- You need help, because you're obviously depressed. Find a good counselor and see them a few times a month until you are capable of NOT cheating anymore.

 

You're in a serious pickle and these are things that you really need to think about... You cheated on a guy that cared enough about you to support you financially. I do suggest that you do the right thing, but pick your path carefully.

[lostsunsets]

The reason you continue to think about Steve is that he has been up inside you. You have bonded with him on the most intimate basis. Of course you think about him. Hey, I'll let you in on a little secret. You will never stop thinking about him. Even if you get back together with Jared (which I hope he runs as fast as he can in the other direction), Steve will always be just a thought away. Of course you could tell Jared but I doubt you have that kind of love for him (the truth).

[harmfulsweetz]

What a mess.

 

You can't excuse it by the way. You knew what you were doing, and you don't care. You aren't bothered by what you did. So what does that tell you? It tells me you don't love him very much.

 

Tell him. He can then move on to find someone worthy of him. If it takes one thing for you to run into someone else's arms, let him go.