Wanting to be married!

[michelea1]

Hello,

I am 30 years old and am depressed. Every man that I have met recently is no good. I want to have kids and be married, but it seems like that will never happen. I dont know what to do. I recently fell for this one guy. I thought he had feelings for me, but it turned out he doesn't. He told me I was not his woman so dont be questioning him about other girls that he calls on my phone. He says that I am insecure. He wanted me to do some really crazy things that showed me he doesn't care about me.

I just wish I could meet someone to marry.

[Enema]

If that most recent guy is any indication, seems like you're attracted to the wrong sort.

 

Where are you meeting these people?

[michelea1]

I met him in my apartment building

[thegreatmoose]

Every man that I have met recently is no good.

Why are they no good? What are your criteria?

 

You might not be filtering out the bad ones or you might be inadvertently filtering out some good ones.

[Bumble]

Have you tried a dating site maybe? One of my friends has had superb luck, and they aren't all pay sites either. Okcupid.com is a free one that will either work out for you wonderfully, or will at least get you introduced to new people. I agree with Enema that maybe you're attracted to the wrong kind of guy and you should perhaps broaden your scope.

 

My mother, for her entire life, was attracted to the macho alpha-dog types of guys and absolutely hated quiet and shy guys. She dated dozens of alphas and married (then divorced) two. Finally, she tried this christian dating site that matched her up with her current husband/soulmate. At first though, she hated the guy! He was too shy and quiet, but he turned out to be a really great, nice, and helpful person and they are very happy together (after I told her to stop being a baby and give the guy a second date).

 

Hope that helps!

[Tethys]

Have you tried a dating site maybe? One of my friends has had superb luck, and they aren't all pay sites either. Okcupid.com is a free one that will either work out for you wonderfully, or will at least get you introduced to new people. I agree with Enema that maybe you're attracted to the wrong kind of guy and you should perhaps broaden your scope.

 

 

Good suggestion, Bumble. Michelea1, you might also want to give eHarmony a try. It seems to actually be geared for people who want to get married, which is what you're looking for. But you also have to fill out a personality survey that helps them match you with compatible men which will help you avoid the sub-par men you seem to be meeting now. Good luck.

[SuburbanOblivion]

You have to relax, and understand it will happen the minute you stop trying so hard.

 

Right now it sounds like you want so much to be 'married' that you aren't seeing anything else. You see the empty slot of 'husband' next to you and are trying to fit any man that comes along, whether he actually fits or not.

 

Being married doesn't mean anything in terms of happiness. Work on making yourself happy and fulfilled, and you will naturally attract the kind of guy who will fit that space.

[boundaryproblem]

I used to obsess about getting married.

 

This was how I was raised: women get married and have babies - that is what they do.

 

Then I got married. It was awful.

 

I'm cured.

 

Basically - what do you want out of life - for yourself? Aside from children/family?

 

Start working on those other goals and make sure you look attractive (guys are visually stimulated) and then I suspect everything will fall into place for you.