Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 you think they ever feel the same way and want to text us but wont do it, im thinking my ex is just afraid i wont answer again and he will be humiltaed i know how he thinks, he is a big procrastonator, he prob thinking ill text him when i feel like it. i cant figure out why if he wanted to break up with me he still wants contact, still would hang out... just dont udnerstand Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 What you said about the shovel I think is spot on babe. My ex is the same I bet now if we could speak to then minus the friends and minis the drugs that they would be gutted. I know but you also have to realise that he's not thinking straight now babe...their minds are everywhere and it's hard because the people they are now won't be the people we love. I wouldn't expect him not to go..he will go because he prob isn't even really thinking straight but i also wouldn't expect this to be anything against you directly. He won't be doing it to hurt you. He prob won't really be thinking anything at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Also...it annoys me to think that I'm hurting and missing my ex so much and it could be all saved if he wasn't so bloody proud. I'll admit I'm so tempted to txt him today, at the end of the day I do want him back really badly. I just don't want the drugs that changes the man I want to be with!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 i just always wonder though if its about the drugs, i guess i have doubts or am in denial about the signs.. he just always over the place with why he doesnt wanna work things out...its my temper, or me twisting his words... but he still will have sex with me.. cuddle, let me sleep over, go out to places pretty much everthing like a relationship with out having to answer to me.. i just dont get it. why cant he just say im done with you dont bother me again? I am haveing a very hard time again today and think of nothing else. I just dont know if its really over the drugs cause he would never admit it and acts like its not even there and makes me feel like im making it up.. then says its becuase of me, and that we dont get along and, that we can make our relationship look good on outside but its just polishing a turd. i dont know if his mind is right or not becuase i dont know how often he does the drugs of if.. i dont know the extent of the use. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Yeah im the same...im not having such an easy day with all this. I know sometimes i wonder if im just making myself feel better by blaming the drugs but i know him on and off them...and this was so out the blue. This literally happened over the space of like 3 days after being demoted and me starting my course he was smoking more. I know i can be quite hot headed and i dont always think before i speak but surely these issues would of come up before instead of waiting three and bit years before going...oh yeah now i dont think i can be with you cause only now is it annoying me. Plus..their not even giving us chances to change...not change but stop doing whats annoying them even if it is us. So they can blame us...but their not going to let us change? See i just cant buy it really...their too simular in the way they have treated us as well and they both do drugs atm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 oh ya mine says same thing, "your never gonna change", i can be hot headed too and i have gotten upset before over things i prob shouldnt have but we always seemed to get along fine. even about 3 weeks before our break up i threatned to break up with him because he let the druggies sleep over his house i said either they are leaving or i am, he was to drunk to make them leave so i left. he apologized the next day saying that was wrong of him. then we talked on phone told him mabey we should see other people he didnt want to do that and said no to that... but three weeks later he doesnt wanna work anthing out... i to wonder if im just using the drugs for an excuse.. but now that im not around he is going out with them more... even after we broke up he told me his plans for the next few months and he said he would be hanging around with some family members. he never mentioned the druggies, but sure enough he going away with them, and i know he went to a bar with them and to one of their parties. so he goes out with them alot more than he leads me on to belive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 oh ya not sure if i mentioned this before, about a year ago he got a call at like 3 am, he said he didnt know who it was, i took the number down and tried calling it but could never get threw. i kept trying for like a month and finally some one answered... i played along with the call and the asked me "what do you want", and i said well what do you have, they said "i got everything" and they named like weed and stuff. i was like im all set, and he was like dont call this number again or there is gonna be trouble, of course when i asked my ex about this he had no idea who it was, though the phone number was for a city about a half hour away from him... but he had no idea..who or why they would call him at that time.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 another thing i forget to mention is that he is 35 and im the first serious relationship he ever had...another thing he said when we broke up is that he didnt feel the same as he did at the beging. u know that stage when everthing is perfect and your completley in love... he said he didnt feel that way and was waiting for that feelin to come back... i told him that that its called honey moon phase and it doesnt last like that forever... he didnt belive me and said i was reading to much stuff on the internet..lol.. so he is also no experinced in a relationshp Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I know now that I'm not around I know my ex will be using them more..which isn't going to help the situation! That call doesn't sound too good..you think it was a dealer? I just understand how they can change so quickly one minute everythings ok...the next it's all a massive mess! Although surely they need to think about growing up..specially at your ex's age? I still have some of ex's stuff here that I know I need to give to him but I don't want to lol. They just don't seem consistent in what they what...sometimes they come across like they miss us and the next minute their sure this is what they want. My boyfriend would say now I'm not saying we didn't feel it what our actions didn't towards each other wouldn't show we love each other. Grrrrrrr they drive me mental lol Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Is it bad that I want him back? X Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 lol i kinda want him back too.... i wish i could stop thinking about it, i just hope they are feeling the same way missing us, i should have went NC from day one, sunday will be four weeks, its been 2 weeks since i last got a text from him...Im pretty sure it was a dealer 100 percent sure!... im so angery to thinking when he goes away others will prob hit on him and he prob will sleep with them lol makes me so upset cause i feel like he is mine...i picture him flirting and being freindly when he should be doing that with me, oh it kills me. i feel like i should text him lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 im starting to feel weak and wondering how much longer i can keep NC Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I know!! I don't know how long I can not txt him for and mines only been ten days since I heard from me. I don't want him to move on though..I don't want him to move on from me and I'm scared If I do nothing then it will help move on, find someone else and like you that kills me. I'm also scared of txting because I can't bear to know for 100% that hecis happier without me. I do hope they miss us like we miss them!! I guess we just need to try and stay strong a little longer Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 another thing my ex told me to before, i thought he was going out with some one else because he sent me somting saying "im leaving now", so i thought he ment to send it to someone else, turns out he was going to a bar with a family member and i verified this with others who were there, but he got all concerned about me thinking he was wiht some one else, and he was like i dont want u to think that, so i said why u dont have to answer to me now lol, and he said still i dont want u thinking that... why didnt he want me thinking he was with some one else? was it because he didnt want me to move on or.. what do u think? or did he just not want me to think he was having sex with some one else. i bet he has by now its been almost a month and half since we had sex but im like u also afraid if i do no contact to long he will just move on..but if i do contact him he prob wont want to get back together and ill get the bs that he alwyas says "i just wanna be freinds for now, im not rushing into anything, I cant say if were gonna get back together or not i dont know what the future holds. i just want freindship for now.. same stuff he always says, or he will say his mind is made up, or i thought we agreed to this"... im starting to think that the best is prob no contact and if he ever wants to come back he will find his way.. cause i think we are skrewed either way if we contact them or if we dont... if we do we are feeding their ego and they know we are waiting.. if we dont we think we might be loosing them and they are moving on... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 so the question is it better to contact or not contact him, what will make them miss us more, im thinking no contact, because if we are there and contact them they can talk to us anytime and it will seem like we never left..and make it easier on them..silence is golden is what they say i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 i also forget to mention that my ex started getting irritable easily he said he was doing it on purpose so i would break up with him, he was saying he wanted me to leave him so he was being irritable on purpose.. but then a few weeks earlier when i tired to break up with him he said no and he didnt think that was a good idea and seemed shocked when i said we should see other people, and didnt want to do that.. then i told him he needs to think about what he wants and hope he is not stringing me along because i wanna have a future with somebody... so if he was being irritable so i would break up with him.. why didnt he accept it when i was gonna break up with him earlier... also toward the end he used to always keep the bathroom door open when he showered but he started closing it, one time i asked him if he was masterbating in the shower, he said yes, and i was hurt that he wasnt havein sex with me, now im starting to wonder if mabey he was doing drugs in there i dont know, i doubt he would do drugs in the shower with me there incase i walked in.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 ok i guess i started a new page lol dont forget to look at page six i left two more comments haha... i guess i just like to vent alot, but i keep remembering other things that i havent typed here, Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Yeah your right...no contact is best because they won't miss us I'd we are always there. They can still have their cake and eat it. I know what your saying is right. We are just better off staying Away we can't keep putting ourselves in a situation where we are always getting hurt. I hate the fact he has this stupid hold over me where I think about it all the time and everything...you still struggling today? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 i went to the gym worked out today i feel somewhat better, i just dont understand how alot of other guys wanna get with me but he doesnt what is wrong here... not to sound concided lol. but i go out i get hit on alot and this one is tossing me aside. when we first met he pursued me, we were freinds two years before we became a couple... i wasnt into him at first and had no interest but we kept goign out and i came to like him, but he always pursued me in begining, he used to think i was "the one" but i guess that changed, he even said once "i used to think you were the one but now im not so sure" Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 No you don't...I get the same thing other guys ask me out but my ex just doesn't seem bothered we are split up! The thought of him being with another girl and it actually does kill me! They seriousy can't know what they've lost!! I wonder if they will come back with their tails between the legs?! Yeah mine said the same..he wanted us to look at getting married in the future and this was only last bloody month!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 i wonder the same if they would come back with their tail between their legs, i wish he woudl so i can reject him. how long u think it usally takes for a guy to come back? Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I don't think there is a time limit...every situation Is different. Do you think you would reject him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 depends how far along i am lol, even if he called today i dont think i would give him an easy time, i would tell him i have to think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Yeah i agree...i wouldnt just be 'welcome home' with open arms!! Just dont think i would allow myself to do that...would of put up too many walls now. Would need to know i trust him?! Thing is i dont want to txt him also because i dont want to turn into some pyscho ex who keeps txting without response...ive had one...and there not good lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 i think our situation is more complicated that normal break ups because we have the third ghost character(drugs) in the picture. we dont know if they really dont want us, or if its the drugs talking, or if we are in the way of their drugs so they want to get rid of us, or if they want to go use and come back to us when they are done. or if they just really mean what they say about us lol or a combination of everything.. its just tough to figure out Link to post Share on other sites
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