Author Confused728 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 I think the same as you, i have come such a long way i dont think i would take him back. i miss him but how could he do this to me, i bet he would to it again... i dont know why he text me a day or two before he went away thats the f-ed up part, he didnt text me for three weeks then a day before he goes away he sends a text saying good morning hope all is well...wtf..right now im starting to care alot less about him... to think he could do this and not feel any guilt or remose or sympathy toward me is just heart breaking, i feel he has ice in his veins Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 I know I feel I've come a long way..too long and too far away from him. It still hurts but not as much as it did and I now know that I am better off without all that rubbish and worry! Yeah I know I can't believe that he's finding all this so easy!! Makes me really angry!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 so why do you think he text me before he went away? i dont think he thought i would really go threw with not speaking to him, he prob thought i was bluffing..u think he will try again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 14, 2009 Author Share Posted November 14, 2009 i hope i get a call somday with him wanting to get back with me so i can get the joy of rejecting him Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 15, 2009 Author Share Posted November 15, 2009 i had a dream again about him last night.. im just still so confused and in a bad mood today. i still wonder if it was because of the drugs or because he just lost his feeligns for me..he never appeared high when with me but i mostly only seen him on weekends... would he in his sober mind push me away with the knowledge that he wanted to use drugs? or because i was challanging him and it was a threat to him and he dindt like hearing the truth...i dont know what the hell is going on.. i was doing good but today i feel lousy. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 I went away this weekend with another girlfriend....i had a really good time and it was fun. Didnt think about him or anything....i get back though and i really miss him. I have no idea why this has made me feel worse! Just miss him here...no one to cuddle to when i feel lousy. I to hope they call asking us back so i can make him feel this rubbish feeling that we have to cope and work through. Maybe ill take up smoking ALL the time if it numbs you this bad hahaha...or not!! How you feeling now?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 glad you went away where did you go? i dont know my mood goes up and down, i was doing well but im starting to feel angery again like i wanna call him up and yell at him, i just dont understand how he could do this to me, i was always good to him and he tosses me aside like im nothing. he not even trying to talk things over with me or doesnt even seem to care... i dont get it Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 glad you went away where did you go? i dont know my mood goes up and down, i was doing well but im starting to feel angery again like i wanna call him up and yell at him, i just dont understand how he could do this to me, i was always good to him and he tosses me aside like im nothing. he not even trying to talk things over with me or doesnt even seem to care... i dont get it ay yay yay, are you still doing this to yourself? we already told you - you don't get it because he is always going to hide the truth from you. what he was - is just a fantasy - because he is no longer capable of being that person you thought he was. it's not that he doesn't care for you - it's just that he cares MORE for the drug! it is as simple as that... now let it go. to be wasting time and energy thinking about him is useless. forward movement for you would be great... why not go out and have fun with friends or family... or a date with someone new? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 sunny he never appeared on drugs so i just dont know the extent of it or if i am making it worse than it is, i just cant tell, it didnt seem obvious as it does with some people, he works two jobs.. is nice guy.. funny fun.. but he didnt seem like a regular drug addict where he looked like he was on drugs or that he did them all the time i just dont know... i dont know if he did them on daily basis or just weekends, even if he was a recrational user and did it on weekends would he still give me up in his sober mind for drugs? im just wish this would fade away how long it take before i stop thinking about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 ahh i had a dream about him again last night.. some of these dreams make me want to get back together with him.. i wake up missing him and wanting to call him..though im starting to think we are never gonna work things out i still have some kind of hope.. i just hope that someday he relizes how good i was to him and regrets what he did.. and tries to get me back but i moved on.. i hope that happens Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 I know EXCALTY what you mean! I was talking to it with my mum...who was very close to my ex ebaring in mind he pretty much lived with us for three years! She was saying today how she finds its weird how ive just heard nothing from her and it surprises her...and me...it really does me! I mean lets be honest yes he loved weed more then me....well no, needed it more then me and it did just eat away hes good points but surely....surely theres still some part of him that shows remorse...or would at least struggle with this! I mean it wasnt just weed he had issues with but he wasnt addicted to the other stuff i know that 100% to be right. I just dont think i can quite get passed how much i miss and think about him and yet nothing.....nothing from him! Like hes just vanished in thin air. Im so angry but im also really bloody hurt by all this! Im actually becoming a nun lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 i am having a very hard time today and feel like calling him. i dont knwo why but i just feel like it i prob wont but i miss him today alot... what can i do..i think i love him still i i just dont know what to do Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 You know....i havnt cried over him in about three weeks...and ive been so proud but talking to a friend whos going through the same and telling them all about this and now im just balling my eyes out....brilliant.....square one for me again!! Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 seems we both are! i know...i dont want to call or txt mine because ive heard nothing...but i do miss him and i can tell myself what bull i like... i still love him...even after all this Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 My friend also explained his situation and it fitted how i felt really well. When he thinks about it makes him feel sick, angry and sad because he wants his life back that was stolen. Thats how i feel...like i was happy and everything was going well and then BANG out of the blue out out of nowhere it was all stolen from me....with no warning, given me no chance but to just work with what i was left with. Stolen....it def feels like its been stolen from me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 17, 2009 Author Share Posted November 17, 2009 i feel very upset the past few days i was doing good i dont know why i am back feelin like this, its been six weeks of NC when am i goign to feel better. i just cant take this anymore i think about it alllllllllllll day long. Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 I know I feel the same...I was doing really well but now I feel like I've gone backwards! I also seem to be thinking about him moving on, being with someone else and I actually can't bear the thought of that!! I know we split up 5 weeks ago...when does this get any easier? Link to post Share on other sites
Charm13 Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 I am currently in a situation close to what you girls are going through. You are not back at square one. It's only natural to miss something that was part of your everyday life. My friend told me the best way to get over a breakup is a hot bath, box of tissues, bottle of Martini and Rossi, and a Patsy Cline cd. I agreed with 3 out of the 4, maybe Vivian Green or some other musician would be a better choice, depending on your taste in music. Grieve for the loss of what was, but move on knowing better things are ahead for you. That is what gets me through my days. Good luck in your journey! Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 It's just hard cause it feels like somethings missing and it's him but I know that time this has to get easier! I was just doing so well and now I don't feel like I've got anywhere. I hate the fact I think about him so much...it actually drives me crazy! I guess u thought i might of heard from him and I haven't so that makes me feel like he has someone new...even though he prob hasn't! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 I have been missing him alot more latley and feel like i wanna talk to him lol i prob wont though, i just dont know what to do.... Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 To be honest I really think this is the end in my ex mind and I'm far too scared now to attempt to talk to him! Lol. I do miss him and I still love him very much as obviously can't just stop but I don't know if I could ever go back after the pain he put me through Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 well i got and email from him today saying he regrets allowing what happened to happen and that he respects my decision, and said its not easy for him.. what should i do i have to think this over Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Just do what feels best....just take everything into consideration why you broke up how felt about him going away etc but do what's best for you! I would say I'm jealous you heard from your ex lol but I'm sure this just makes things even more confusing for you...do you think your reply? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused728 Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 Metal give it time mabey you will hear from him... i told you mine would prob contact me after he got back from his trip lol i was right about that.. he didnt want me in the way of it now that its done.. a week later i get an email just as i predicted..i havent answered him yet and i am debating what to do... im afraid if i went back to him this would be a cycle anytime he does somting i dont agree with break up with me then come back Link to post Share on other sites
Metal_Muffin Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Plus If he did do it so you wouldn't be in the way for the trip that's bit nice! Just make sure your happy...and that the drugs don't take over again! You've done well not to reply straight away. Shows that he'll have to fight for you a little. Maybe that's what he should do proove himself to you so you know if you did go back with him it's you he truely wants Link to post Share on other sites
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