Canuck81 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Hi all. First time poster, long time reader. Wife of 2 yrs (9 years together total) left me three weeks ago for my best friend and co-worker without any notice. Before I knew about the other man I convinced her to do some post-marriage counselling to help me heal. Now I'm really angry and feel so betrayed. She still believes she tried everything she could to get her feelings back for me before deciding to leave. I don't see how that would be possible while falling in love with someone else. She has a "this happened to me unwillingly, it's not my fault" point of view. Now, I've closed her off from my life and haven't talked. I feel I want to say all kinds of things to her but I don't think it will really help. Thing is, the counselling is still on for this week. No chance for reconciliation here, so would it be worthwhile to see a counselor with her at this point or would it be better for me to just walk away and move on? Any advice or experience would be appreciated.
carhill Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Assuming you divorce, that process isn't always simple and pain-free. Counseling could help you clarify some of your feelings and give you tools to emerge one way or another in a healthier way. Look at it as something positive to do for you. Ouch on the best friend part. I can't imagine that
Author Canuck81 Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 I'm already going on my own and starting to get better. Just want to know if people have had good net results from confronting the significant other in counselling after you've cut them out as part of your healing process.
edgeof27 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Hi all. First time poster, long time reader. Wife of 2 yrs (9 years together total) left me three weeks ago for my best friend and co-worker without any notice. Before I knew about the other man I convinced her to do some post-marriage counselling to help me heal. Now I'm really angry and feel so betrayed. She still believes she tried everything she could to get her feelings back for me before deciding to leave. I don't see how that would be possible while falling in love with someone else. She has a "this happened to me unwillingly, it's not my fault" point of view. Now, I've closed her off from my life and haven't talked. I feel I want to say all kinds of things to her but I don't think it will really help. Thing is, the counselling is still on for this week. No chance for reconciliation here, so would it be worthwhile to see a counselor with her at this point or would it be better for me to just walk away and move on? Any advice or experience would be appreciated. It's time to walk away, &, move on, the only reason to communicate now is to try to get through the divorce as quickly, &, amicabley, (sp?), as possible without the Lawyers getting involved too much, ie, do not argue when you are both at the Lawyers office, (they love this, that's where they get paid while you two argue about stuff you should have resolved before meeting with your Lawyers),
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