kristy1976 Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 After reading some of the other posts on this site and going through the pain of losing a lover, I can't help but wonder if love is just something that movies talk about and songwriters sing about and authors write about and it is just a fantasy. I don't want to be negative, but I wonder sometimes if it is better to put up a "wall" so you don't get hurt. I am not just talking about relationships with girls and boys, because relatives even mothers and fathers can hurt too. I am wondering if animals, like dogs and cats, are the only ones that we can love and be loved in return. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 "I am wondering if animals, like dogs and cats, are the only ones that we can love and be loved in return." Just stop feeding them and see how long they love you! Love isn't a fantasy but it is something that exists within you. It's an intangible feeling that you and only you own. You don't have to be loved in return to feel love for someone. It's nice if they tell you they love you as well but what else can you get from the love of another...just their lip service. All the love that ever exists in your life will exist within you because you will never, until the end of time and beyond, be able to feel others love for you. Love your beloved with all your heart and if he or she doesn't love you back, don't give them the power to crush you. Just love them even more and move on. Real love requires a great deal of maturity that most people don't have. Selfish love is very cheap and available at every corner. When you arrive at a place where you are totally satisfied with the love you have for others, then you will have arrived at the gates of heaven. Until that time, you can count on a measure of hell because any love short of that can bring hurt. Hurt ONLY happens when you require something in return. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 I really like the quote I've got posted on my signature ... I think it deals with the "true" nature of love, rather than the idealistic version, which is pretty much all hype and not content. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 The Pope was not speaking of romantic love. Romantic love is filled with conditions. The scary part is when you fall in love with somebody and things about them that you loved change. I love the Pope but I wouldn't go to him for romantic advice. I wouldn't kiss his ring either, unless he boiled it first. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 I don't know Kristy...I've often asked myself the same thing. I've only really loved one person.....and it turned out to be unmittigated DISASTER! I haven't given up on the concept of true love....but I no longer seek it. If it happens....it'll have to catch me by surprise. I've often wondered when I see so many couples together if they are really "in love" or if they just want someone in their life and settle on the person who most represents what they are seeking. I wish I could do that....unfotunately, I want it ALL or nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Love isn't a fantasy but it is something that exists within you Awesome post, Tony Kristy - Humans are blessed in that we are usually able to forget pain and remember pleasure. Yes, some people get hurt badly, and some perhaps the hurt lingers, but most people eventually move on to grow and to thrive in their lives. There's no point in foregoing the pleasures of loving someone out of fear that something might happen. Is there such a thing as lasting love? My dad and stepmom had it - but they found each other when they were in their fifties. I've known plenty of people who had to go through more than one crushing experience only to end up very happy. One of my friends hasn't had any serious relationships yet. He's very wise about it. He says that he expects that he will have to go through two or three disasters in order to learn about himself and how he is in relationships, and he's prepared for that. What you need to do is go into relationships from a position of strength. Know there may be problems, and know that you will have ways to handle them (support from friends, anti-stress strategies, etc) should that happen. Above all, work on your self-esteem so that you will not lose your self in any relationship and so that, if a relationship does go sour, you won't think that's a negation of you as a person. Then, per Mark Twain's quote which I also posted in another thread "Throw off the bowlines; sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, dream..." Don't hide in your house scared to live - you only get one life, after all. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 All the love that ever exists in your life will exist within you because you will never, until the end of time and beyond, be able to feel others love for you. I don't know. I can remember when I finally believed and physically felt that my husband truly loved me. It was the most breathtaking, awesome, scary feeling ever and I don't have the words to describe it. It changed me. I knew I loved him for a long time. He said he loved me, he would do things for me out of love, but I just didn't feel it from him. Then one day, after we had been married for a while and had gone thorough some devastating crisis in our relationship and within ourselves, after we stopped having sex several year before, I was walking through the living room and went past him while he was watching TV. He just reached out and brushed my hand as I went past, I turned looked in his eyes and I felt it. I think I stopped breathing for a couple of minutes, continued to look at him, then I went on my way and it was like there was something moving with me, surrounding me and I've never been exactly the same since. Love doesn't just happen, it takes work, and often pain and heartbreak, and anger and bitterness sometimes too - but when that stuff is worked through a few times and one realizes that love is built, constructed brick by brick, sometimes having to tear it down and start over with new mortar, then it doesn't feel like it happened - it feels like you created it and you can take ownership of it - ownership of the love you feel and of the love you receive. At least thats how it is for us. As for animals -- well, remember Greyfriars Bobbi? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts