Just Wondering?

[Riddick]

Ok, where to start:

 

Ok i'm 23 and in 2006 i got with a woman who was a lot older than me and we were seeing each other for 3 years.

 

We broke up....well she kicked me out. and since then i have had a lot of trouble of her and i am more concered about the kids that she has.

 

She has got a 6, 11, 14 and a 17year old. the 3 youngest come to see her on a tuesday and a thursday. after school. thats ok. the thing i have got a problem with is the fact that she makes the kids go to her (the mother) friend's house to see them. simply for the reason cuz the flat that she is in does not have any electric. I went around today to go and get more of my things. She said she was gonna be in cuz she was ill but actually she was around at her friends house. "Chilling". She Keeps selling things "to feed the kids" that is what she is saying to everyone. but the fact of the matter is that she keeps the money so that she can go out. Also there are 2 Littraly Week old kittens in the flat and no-one is there to look after them. should i say something to:

A: Council about all the debt that she is in

B: the social about the way that she is mistreating her kids

C: R.S.P.C.A about the kittens

 

Her eldest daughter was the person who was there to let me in today only on the off chance that she was there. her mom had sent her round to go and get some things for her cuz she did not wanna come back to the flat. She broke down in front of me and explained how she cant cope because her mom is always having a go at her.

 

What should be my best course of action.

 

Also quite a lot of my stuff is still there should i get the police involved so i can get it back?????

[alphamale]

What should be my best course of action.

to not do anything

 

Also quite a lot of my stuff is still there should i get the police involved so i can get it back?????

just blow in there and get your **** back yourself...if thats impossible then get the cops involved

[Riddick]

to not do anything

But wouldnt it be in the best interests of the kids to do something for them. i mean if they are getting no support of her and just "fobbing them off" so to speak. should i do something.

[alphamale]

But wouldnt it be in the best interests of the kids to do something for them. i mean if they are getting no support of her and just "fobbing them off" so to speak. should i do something.

what exactly are you going to do? if i may be so bold

[Riddick]

report her to the social for neglect and emotional abuse. the mom is always shouting at her. leaving her in the house. no food. no electric. nothing. i mean the mom even hid letters from her. and one of the letters was from the daughters college and now cuz she aint been in touch with them she has lost her place. Oh and the mom has been openin all of my post as well

[Lucky_One]

You lived there for 3 years and you didn't see a problem with it. Now that you are very recently kicked out, you think she is neglecting her kids?

 

In truth there is very little that most social service agencies would say is actual abuse or neglect here - she only sees the kids for a few hours two afternoons a week, and she sees them in a place that is better equipped for humans than her own place, and she is apparently feeding the kids (even though you disapprove of the method that she purchases the food). She yells at the 17 year old girl, but that isn't particularly odd for a teenaged girl and her mother.

 

As for involving the police, it doesn't appear that you are being denied access to get your things. If she consistently denies you access for a few weeks, then see what legal recourse you have. Why didn't you get all your stuff today when you were there to pick things up?

[Boundary Problem]

report her to the social for neglect and emotional abuse. the mom is always shouting at her. leaving her in the house. no food. no electric. nothing. i mean the mom even hid letters from her. and one of the letters was from the daughters college and now cuz she aint been in touch with them she has lost her place. Oh and the mom has been openin all of my post as well

 

 

You are in a very tough spot and you have a good heart.

 

You have various options, none of them good. The more you engage with the children, the more you risk a child support claim - despite not being a biological father.

 

However, humanity sort of suggests that you be available to the kids, if they need you. At a basic minimum I would make sure those children had your phone number.

 

Don't count on social services for anything, unless you think the children should be apprehended, split up and placed with 'new parents'. There are varying levels/types of abuse and there is no guarantee the "new" home will be salvation for those children.

 

As I said you have no good options here.

 

try to follow up on the college letter - or whatever that was - which was an opportunity for at least one child to move on with her life. I'm sure they could let her back in if the situation was explained. Technically the letter was never delivered to the daughter if mom intercepted.