Author broken hearted Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 HAHA, you're too cute Tojaz!! He only asked for my number, that doesn't mean he's going to call. Oh, and this is hilarious! When my stbx came to pick the kids up this afternoon, my son told him about how much fun he had sliding and about "Mommy's friend". Immediately my ex said, "who is your friend?" I said, "just someone I met today at the hill". Then he had 10 more questions for me about who this guy was and how long I've known him for and where he lives...I can see it, he's going to be very jealous when he does realize I can catch other men's eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Sounds like ex is getting a little of his own medicine! Hopefully he learns something from it. Even if nothing more then a little respect for some of the pain hes put you through. Oh, and trust me Broken, He'll call. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 So HAPPY! He'll call Broken, he wouldn't have asked for your number otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken hearted Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 See Tojaz...I told you I'm going to be ok! You're going to be ok too, you've got a heart of gold and any woman would be stupid to pass you up! I'm beginning to see a slight light shining at the end of this LOOOONG tunnel that I thought would never shine... Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Good for you Broken, I'm sure he will call. :D Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken hearted Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 Thanks Trippi and Lisa! Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 See Tojaz...I told you I'm going to be ok! You're going to be ok too, you've got a heart of gold and any woman would be stupid to pass you up! I'm beginning to see a slight light shining at the end of this LOOOONG tunnel that I thought would never shine... I'm going to pass along my exs phone number so she can tell you all the ways your wrong about me. LOL I couldn't be happier for you Broken. Just remember what i've been saying to you, NEVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THEN YOU DESERVE! and thats a hell of a lot girl, remember that. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 HAHA, you're too cute Tojaz!! He only asked for my number, that doesn't mean he's going to call. Oh, and this is hilarious! When my stbx came to pick the kids up this afternoon, my son told him about how much fun he had sliding and about "Mommy's friend". Immediately my ex said, "who is your friend?" I said, "just someone I met today at the hill". Then he had 10 more questions for me about who this guy was and how long I've known him for and where he lives...I can see it, he's going to be very jealous when he does realize I can catch other men's eyes. Next time H has a question, about your life, tell him "None of your business". Coz it ain't. Even if this guy doesn't call, you know you still got it. Link to post Share on other sites
foreal Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 She said that he missed a very significant developmental stage earlier in life and he is now going back to learn that stage...unfortunately that comes at the cost of his wife, his marriage, his kids, and his family. BH I have been reading your posts and wanted to tell you they are giving me strength...thank you for sharing so much- we have so much in common. and there are so many people here who are helping as well. The quote above, i am wondering if you can tell me what stage it is the therapist said your H missed? i ask b/c I think my H missed "IT" too (whatever IT is) I feel a strong connection to you and can only hope I will follow you...my H had an A after 20 years of M....our son is almost 3 years old and now I am pregnant- he walked out last week. I am not sure if I can go through with this pregnancy...I thought we were reconciling, but he was still with MOW....the pregnancy is a fluke- I should not be, but I guess somebody out there figured I could handle more pain and suffering. I cannot imagine having this baby alone as well as caring for a 3 year old when it arrives. Please keep posting and sharing your story. You are my inspiration and I am so glad I came into this forum..I have been in the infidelity forum for the past 9 months and only now that my H left is it real to me that we are over..and I hate it. ((Broken hearted))) Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 Gosh, it's just hurting so bad lately! I feel so used and so disposable. I feel like I've never meant anything at all to him since I literally have been replaced by another woman after 11 years together and 2 children....he loved me one day and threw me out the next while I was carrying his child...in she walks and takes over my life with him! He's apparently introduced her to at least some of his family since my brother in law and her are now friends on facebook. I have a male friend who I have been very good friends with since college and he's been there for me throughout this. I think he's always sort of had a little thing for me and now he's been there to listen to me ramble on and on. Lately he's been asking to come over...most times when he's drunk. I'm not the type of girl to want a hook up buddy but like I said, we are good friends and I think he's always sort of had a thing for me so he figures why not since I complain how long it's been since I've had sex . I'm not that type of girl and I'm really not attracted to him that way but here's the thing...I feel as though if I hooked up with him, or anyone for that matter, I would be cheating. I can't get the notion out of my head that I am no longer attached and can be with others. This has more red flags than Tiananmen Square in Beijing, China on May Day! When you can't trust anyone ~ trust yourself and your instincts! Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken hearted Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 Last night when my stbx was dropping our daughter back off to me, he seemed a little off. He began walking for the door then turned back around and headed back into the living room where I was sitting with our daughter. He said, "Who's Jason, our son talked all night about Mommy and Jason". I have NO idea who my son would be talking about bc I don't know a Jason, though I took this as the perfect opportunity to give my stbx a small dose of his own medicine. I couldn't even get a word out before my stbx said, "Tell me who Jason is...is he your boyfriend, do you have a boyfriend?" I simply replied with, "No, he's not my (air quotes) "boyfriend". He then said, "so...you're seeing someone?" then walked out the door angrily. First of all, I have no idea who any Jason would be but...what the hell does he think I'm going to do, sit around for the rest of my life and pray he comes back? He's got a girlfriend now, why would he be upset if I had a boyfriend? He's the one who left me while I was 7 weeks pregnant and had an affair with a woman whom he is still with... Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken hearted Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 foreal: I'm not sure that I should be looked at as any sort of inspiration...I have struggled beyond anything imaginable for the last 12 months...yes, it's been 12 months and I still need lots of support from LS. I have cried every single day since last Jan. 31st and said some of the most hurtful and cruel things to my stbxh after I found out about his A. I have not handled this pain well and I HATE the person I have become bc of it. I am just finally beginning to understand that I am going to be OK, my children are going to be OK. It took me almost a year to realize that I do not love my stbxh as a husband anymore but rather I only love him as the father of my children...a love that will last a lifetime. He is not the man I fell in love with and therefore, he no longer deserves any love from me except the love a mother has for the father of her children. He has given me the two most amazing children in the world and if that's all he was put in my life for than this pain is all worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 Last night when my stbx was dropping our daughter back off to me, he seemed a little off. He began walking for the door then turned back around and headed back into the living room where I was sitting with our daughter. He said, "Who's Jason, our son talked all night about Mommy and Jason". I have NO idea who my son would be talking about bc I don't know a Jason, though I took this as the perfect opportunity to give my stbx a small dose of his own medicine. I couldn't even get a word out before my stbx said, "Tell me who Jason is...is he your boyfriend, do you have a boyfriend?" I simply replied with, "No, he's not my (air quotes) "boyfriend". He then said, "so...you're seeing someone?" then walked out the door angrily. First of all, I have no idea who any Jason would be but...what the hell does he think I'm going to do, sit around for the rest of my life and pray he comes back? He's got a girlfriend now, why would he be upset if I had a boyfriend? He's the one who left me while I was 7 weeks pregnant and had an affair with a woman whom he is still with... Ah yes, the ole double standard. Lived through that one. Ex got wind that an old girlfriend was back in town and all of a sudden it's "you know what she wants" and "shes not right for you" She left and she was the one who was jealous...and I wasn't even seeing this girl! Best answer Broken is that he traded the right to know those things for (insert GFs name here) and leave it at that. He chose his life and now your living yours! foreal: I'm not sure that I should be looked at as any sort of inspiration...I have struggled beyond anything imaginable for the last 12 months...yes, it's been 12 months and I still need lots of support from LS. I have cried every single day since last Jan. 31st and said some of the most hurtful and cruel things to my stbxh after I found out about his A. I have not handled this pain well and I HATE the person I have become bc of it. I am just finally beginning to understand that I am going to be OK, my children are going to be OK. It took me almost a year to realize that I do not love my stbxh as a husband anymore but rather I only love him as the father of my children...a love that will last a lifetime. He is not the man I fell in love with and therefore, he no longer deserves any love from me except the love a mother has for the father of her children. He has given me the two most amazing children in the world and if that's all he was put in my life for than this pain is all worth it. The strength in that one post after all you have had to cope with is reason enough for someone to look to you for inspiration! Don't sell yourself short Broken, you've come a long way! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 This is a common theme I have tried to get across many times, it seems one of the ways to wake up the WS is for the BS to find someone who might be interested in them. I happened to me, and I have seen it happen to others BH, if he had balls enough to ask for your number, he has a similar set to make the call. Either that of there is something wrong with the males of Vermont, could it be catching Oh to be young again. Luck to you Your friend Gallon Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 broken hearted This could be an emotionally dangerous time for you. I know how bad you want your stbxh back, and what if he gets jealous, and decides to pretend that he wants to give your marriage a second chance? Prepare yourself, it is not beyond the realm of possible. It sounds as if you are starting to heal. Do you want to go thru a second act? It did happen to me and was worse than d-day. It can be oh so tempting. Your heart is yelling YES, YES, but your logical half wants to run as fast as it can Gallon Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken hearted Posted February 21, 2010 Author Share Posted February 21, 2010 Just as the smoke was clearing, the light was shining and the tears were drying...I've been knocked back down. I'm not exactly sure what has knocked me down so hard but I'm starting to believe I will never be able to escape myself or my pain. I've been trying to tell myself for months that I do want this divorce, that I am not in love with my ex anymore, that I deserve much better than him, and that I will be ok. But the fact of the matter is, I really don't know if I will be ok, I am still in love with him, I don't want this divorce, and I would take him back in a heartbeat. I signed up for a 3 day trial match.com subscription. It started yesterday. So far, I have received 31 emails and 36 winks. I guess there are other men out there who would possibly be interested in me but the one man I want to still be interested in me wants nothing to do with me. I read every one of the profiles of the men who sent emails or winks and the whole time, all I was thinking is...nope, not interested, he's not ____(my ex)! I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK! I DON'T ENJOY THIS LIFE THAT HAS BEEN FORCED UPON MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN! Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 Broken there are plenty of men out there that would be interested in you. Hell I'd be one of them!, and there would be a whole lot more once they got to know you. I'm sure valentines was hard, it sure was for me. Spent it with a dear friend and enjoyed myself thouroughly, but VDay will always be the day I proposed and there isn't much that will stop the memories from being stirred and that bit of hurt and sadness will be there. Its a backslide Broken, and nothing more. You have found new strength and new resolve you will recapture that after this minor set back, believe me. Take your time, shed your tears and when your ready you'll get back in the drivers seat and things will look much different when your seeing them in the rearview. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
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