Double Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 About me: I (not-so-recently-anymore) graduated with a master's degree. Haven't been able to get a job for economy-related reasons, primarily my industry wasn't hiring pretty much at all, and in worst case scenarios were cutting jobs. Not to mention heavy competition for existing jobs, and the fact that people chose not to retire. I wasted several months applying to jobs anyways in my industry, because they were posting openings, even though they didn't have the budget to hire anyone (I think it might be a law that they have to post vacancies but I'm not sure). Blah blah blah. I've since expanded my job hunt criteria, but haven't been having any luck so far. About my relationship: Been dating my bf for the last year+. Overall a good relationship and I'm very happy with it. About my bf and his ex: He's been with his company for 10 years, and he's gotten several of his friends a job there...including his ex (she's not an issue in our relationship, nor has she ever been). I know that a few of the people he's gotten jobs there don't have relevant work experience, and either dropped out of college without a degree, or never went to begin with. About the ex: She doesn't have ANY college education/credits at all. She has NO education beyond a high school diploma. Her only work experience is as a waitress, stripper, and bartender. He got her a job at his company where they trained her and pay her $50K a year. I never asked him to get me a job at his workplace. He has mentioned two or three times though that he could get me a job there, but he doesn't want to work with his girlfriend. And then he's gone on to mention all the people he's gotten jobs there, and how I'm so much more qualified than any of them. This really doesn't make me feel good, and if he brings it up again I'll probably say as much to him. This is getting really long, so I'll get to the point: I don't know how to feel about this...I'm a little mad, but I'm wondering if I'm out of line for feeling that way? I can understand not wanting to work with an SO...honestly, if I had my choice I wouldn't want to work with him either. But times are tough, so wth!!?? Stability is good for a relationship - so me having a job could only be a good thing, even if it was in the same building as him......right? Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Hey Double, Times are tough and i can certainly understand your fustration, but being angry with your bf's decision won't help matters. I don't know exactly what was said between you two. I'm sure he has his reasons and you have to respect that. He might come round to the idea in time, but you can't force the issue on him 'cause that isn't fair either. I don't know why you even mentioned his ex. What do you care what she does and how much she earns? You make it sound like she's not entitled to it. It's better to focus on your on life. I'm still looking for jobs within my field, but i have also accepted the fact that i have to scale down my criteria and be less picky with other jobs. I have even applied to do job share and volunteer work now. I suggest you do the same, if you haven't already. You're not alone. So don't give up. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 You have to have the conversation. You need a job. In fact, these days jobs are harder to find than relationships. No sense being disgruntled about it and not having the conversation. Tell him that at this point you would like to consider his trying to get you employment there. Have the discussion about what could work and what could not work. Talk about what ifs. Ya gotta move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Double Posted October 22, 2009 Author Share Posted October 22, 2009 (edited) Thanks for the replies I wouldn't really be mad or upset or annoyed or anything else, except that I never asked him to get me a job, never brought it up, nothing....and three times now he's mentioned that he could very easily do so. And then he throws in: "But I don't want to work with a gf." So first and foremost I'm annoyed because, why bring it up if you're just going to say "But I won't." My point with bringing up his ex is simply that, he did it for her, his gf....so why not me? And my point with detailing his ex's background was just to point out that the reason can't have anything to do with me not being qualified, and that is it a very good entry-level job. No problem with her making a living If he brings it up again I guess I'll just say something to him about it. **And thanks for the encouragement!! I'm already volunteering (looks good, and I'd go crazy if I couldn't keep busy), and will be picking up some part-time work hopefully soon; I'm also working on a couple entrepreneurial ideas since I have the time anyways. Good luck to you as well! Edited October 22, 2009 by Double Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 He might be bringing it up as a way of seeing if you would be interested. But sensing you may not be, he adds the whole working with gf thing. You two might be having the same conversation. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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