Ms. Joolie Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 deux ex machina.... your summary was brilliant. You have a very good point. Zansatsu, right off I'd say your description of yourself is too wordy. Not only that, but the way you posted it on here - in just one huge paragraph - is not attractive. That's just my own opinion, but you may want to take into consideration that you may be too wordy. Let your actions speak for themselves, don't try to word it all out on your profile. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Joolie Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 OMG... I thought this thread was asking for profile advice. WTH. It's Deux's fault. Didn't mean to give unsolicited advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 I'd say your description of yourself is too wordy... take into consideration that you may be too wordy. Oh yeah!?!? Well I think your post isn't too wordy enough! (I'm just teasing you.) Let your actions speak for themselves, don't try to word it all out on your profile. Seriously though, it was meant to be a stream of consciousness exercise, not a profile post. And I don't talk this much IRL, if I don't know you. But again, no one here would ever, ever believe that Internet = Real Life, Right? Right?? Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 deux ex machina.... your summary was brilliant. You have a very good point. Aw, why thank you. OMG... I thought this thread was asking for profile advice. WTH. It's Deux's fault... That's what everyone says. * I never left. You were right here, all along! I feel complete now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 You were right here, all along! I feel complete now. You were looking for me? BTW: Cute bunny! Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Joolie Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 You were looking for me? BTW: Cute bunny! Awwwww... .Zansatsu! You're no longer alone! heehee. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 Awwwww... .Zansatsu! You're no longer alone! heehee. I know! I have the Love Shack now! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 Awwwww... .Zansatsu! You're no longer alone! heehee. There you go... *again* thinking that the Internet > Real Life. Tsk Tsk. I love after-thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 You were looking for me? BTW: Cute bunny! * There you go... *again* thinking that the Internet > Real Life. Tsk Tsk. I love after-thoughts. Guess I'd better release that bunny back out into wild, and use the pot to cook in (no more TV dinners for me )...you're screwing up all my stalking plans. I can't help it if I'm passionate and emotionally intelligent. You seem like a person who experiences life through his senses quite a bit. Have you considered taking up a culinary class of some sort? Could be one way to meet a lot of women, and better yet, you get to become familiar with one another whilst doing an activity together, since to know you is to like you, I can tell that much - so it gives you that kind opportunity... As Island Girl pointed out, even if those people you would meet wouldn't click, they might in turn know others who might. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Sorry Z... I thought it was from a profile. If I see a profile ( not that I believe in the internet dating scene anymore ) and the profile is longgggggggggggg....then I just move on... Most guys that have the long ones are trying to impress somebody...not me Welcome to LS , Z , hope you get lots of great advice. We have plenty , haha.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Guess I'd better release that bunny back out into wild, and use the pot to cook in (no more TV dinners for me )...you're screwing up all my stalking plans. Oh my, are you asking me to cook for you? O.o I can't help it if I'm passionate and emotionally intelligent. You know what they say, imitation is the highest form of flattery. HA! You seem like a person who experiences life through his senses quite a bit. Have you considered taking up a culinary class of some sort? Could be one way to meet a lot of women, and better yet, you get to become familiar with one another whilst doing an activity together, since to know you is to like you, I can tell that much - so it gives you that kind opportunity... Actually, I'm looking into finding a ceramics studio. I love throwing pots on a wheel. It's like Zen for me. I'm kinda shy so unless I figure that one out, it may help, but only enough to get me to meet them... which I guess is half the battle (I just realized that I quote GI Joe. >.<) As Island Girl pointed out, even if those people you would meet wouldn't click, they might in turn know others who might. You and Island Girl have had great ideas and you've got me thinking about several ways I could meet people. I just need to crack this shell I put myself into and get out and do something about it. That's the biggest hurdle for me right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Sorry Z... I thought it was from a profile. If I see a profile ( not that I believe in the internet dating scene anymore ) and the profile is longgggggggggggg....then I just move on... Most guys that have the long ones are trying to impress somebody...not me Welcome to LS , Z , hope you get lots of great advice. We have plenty , haha.. I saw your apology immediately after. I just wanted to give you a dose of grief. I don't really go for profiles anymore anyway. I deleted my myspace and facebook profiles because I just didn't like being that "exposed" and being cyber-stalked is such a great exercise in anxiety. This why I've begun my search for "the real thing." I used to meet girls playing World of Warcraft which kinda taught me that the internet just doesn't seem to work for meeting someone... at least for me. The same can be said for all the major dating sites, again, for me. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 I used to meet girls playing World of Warcraft which kinda taught me that the internet just doesn't seem to work for meeting someone... at least for me. The same can be said for all the major dating sites, again, for me. Ooooohhh - red flag, red flag, red flag! Do you still play WoW and do you have a Level 80 Mage? Maybe its time to put away the games. You said you met "girls" that way but from the post, it sounds like you want a "woman" and the quality partner you seek isn't going to be that interested in a guy who plays video games. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 I used to meet girls playing World of Warcraft which kinda taught me that the internet just doesn't seem to work for meeting someone... at least for me. The same can be said for all the major dating sites, again, for me. And FYI: I don't play World of Warcraft anymore. I found that spending time doing something that ultimately gets me no-where in my life, does nothing for my depression and actually makes it worse. It's nice to have real hobbies like Nitro RC: http://www.traxxas.com/products/nitro/jato33/trx_jato33.htm Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Ooooohhh - red flag, red flag, red flag! Do you still play WoW and do you have a Level 80 Mage? Maybe its time to put away the games. You said you met "girls" that way but from the post, it sounds like you want a "woman" and the quality partner you seek isn't going to be that interested in a guy who plays video games. Read my last post. I caught my error. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Read my last post. I caught my error. Congrats. And the clay thing is a GREAT idea to meet women! And I also wish you were 20 years older... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) Congrats. And the clay thing is a GREAT idea to meet women! I've been a potter since High School and did everything in my power to do it in college. It's soooo therapeutic. And I also wish you were 20 years older... Me too. Edited October 26, 2009 by Zansatsu Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 If this means anything : Alot of ppl develop * on line relationships * where they go ga ga over eachother and have never met. More often than not when they do meet its a * LETDOWN * I have had more letdowns than successes when it comes to online . The best advice I can give for those who insist on the online life...Meet them and spend 6 months in real quality time getting to know them. Then you can find out if they are a serial Hoarder or psychotic killer....( or what have you )...lol... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) If this means anything : Alot of ppl develop * on line relationships * where they go ga ga over eachother and have never met. More often than not when they do meet its a * LETDOWN * I have had more letdowns than successes when it comes to online . The best advice I can give for those who insist on the online life...Meet them and spend 6 months in real quality time getting to know them. Then you can find out if they are a serial Hoarder or psychotic killer....( or what have you )...lol... OR... you could just decide to come back to real life and reinvest all that time and energy back into yourself. Lord, there were so many things I could have done with the time and energy I spent online and in long distance relationships. Useful things such as: Hobbies: Nitro RC, Making refrigerator magnets, etc. Therapy: Ridding myself of nerd-rage (very useful). Catching up on TV: Adult Swim, Mythbusters, Star Trek. Laundry: Leveling the mountain in the corner. Bathing: Finding someone I can conserve water with. Shopping: If you've been indoors for a decade, go out. There's some interesting stuff out there now. Cleaning: Yes, I'm talking about the leaning tower of pizza boxes. Dating: Looking for a partner that can actually touch you. At least, that's what I decided to do. You are right, it's a let down most of the time and while Pixel-Love is fun in a fantasy sort of way, there is no substitute for the real thing. This is not to say that the internet and online relationships don't have their value. It really is a personal decision. I just got tired of being the rat in the wheel and wanted off the electrodes that kept conditioning me to go back to real life. Edited October 27, 2009 by Zansatsu Clarity Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I shake my head in disbelief. Zansatsu, I was once sensitive and strong, and what did it get me? Rejection, rudeness, rejection, evasiveness, rejection, unkindness, rejection... oh, and did I mention rejection??? To all those women out there who SAY they're looking for a nice guy, I say talk to the middle finger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 I shake my head in disbelief. Zansatsu, I was once sensitive and strong, and what did it get me? Rejection, rudeness, rejection, evasiveness, rejection, unkindness, rejection... oh, and did I mention rejection??? To all those women out there who SAY they're looking for a nice guy, I say talk to the middle finger. Yes but when you are speaking with the middle finger, it's just a way to protect yourself from having to deal with the complexities that happen in life. I could take the attitude of screw everything and run. But I'm like a kid playing with the toy blocks: rejection, rudeness, evasiveness, unkindness. When you take the sting out of those experiences and distill it down, you are left with what you learned. Life is the worst teacher because it always gives you the test before the answers. You never see it coming and if you do, it's too late. Life is fired at us at point blank. I dropped my angst and decided that yeah, some women will be trouble, but there are good ones on this planet, I just have to find them. And any reasonable mind will consider this: there are 4+Billion people on this planet. At least one of them has to be a woman that believes like I do and wants what I want. The thing is that there could be many women in the world for you. It's just being in the right place at the right time. I shut myself-in a lot and I didn't meet anyone, but it was by choice. If you are trying and getting frustrated, take a break and start looking for things you enjoy doing. Pour yourself into those things and you might be surprised to meet someone doing exactly what you are doing. Give them a fair chance and don't pre-judge them because of your pain. You might be surprised. Live your life the way you truly want to live it and the hurt won't hurt so bad. You'll be able to shrug it off and keep moving. And hey man, it sounds like you are at least trying to get back on the horse after being kicked. I would say kudos to you. Don't let a weakness make you believe that you lack strength. Keep on truckin'. Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Ooooohhh - red flag, red flag, red flag! Do you still play WoW and do you have a Level 80 Mage? Maybe its time to put away the games. You said you met "girls" that way but from the post, it sounds like you want a "woman" and the quality partner you seek isn't going to be that interested in a guy who plays video games. I play WoW, but mine is a Druid Contrary to your opinion, I would actually be very interested in a guy who plays video games, because he wouldn't have a go at me when I want to play them - he might even play them with me! It's just a matter of finding the right person who enjoys the same things you do - the right partner will accept your hobbies and possibly even share them, not be put off by them. Shopping: If you've been indoors for a decade, go out. There's some interesting stuff out there now. Bah, you haven't heard of online shopping? I'm single, 30, no children, never married, doing *ok* financially, educated, fit, and I actually care about bettering myself. Are you me? I love animals and I try not to kill bugs unless I have to (IE: she demands it). If she demands it, do you really want to date her? Sounds to me like if she insisted on killing bugs she would be a very uncompassionate person. Squishing any animal unnecessarily (even a bug) isn't nice - they have a right to life too - and spiders especially are our friends. In my house, any living thing that can be rescued is carefully placed outdoors where it can toddle off and be about its business. So my question is... why am I alone? I've been asking myself the same question for the last fifteen years, and I still don't have a satisfactory answer. Perhaps other people have lower expectations than I do, so they settle for a relationship that I would have been dissatisfied with (however as I get older settling is beginning to look like a much more attractive option). Hitting 30 is a big psychological milestone if you're still unmarried with no kids, and it's natural to question your life at that point, and to wonder why it didn't happen for you. Let's face it; in general people usually expect to be married with kids by 30, and it's a bit of a shock to find yourself 30 and single. The key question is this: Are there women who would be (or were) happy with you, whom you would not be (or weren't) happy with? You see, I always complain about not having met a good guy, but my ides of "good" is asking rather a lot compared to what other people are satisfied with. The truth is that I've dated a few nice guys who really liked me and wanted to marry me, but they just weren't what I was looking for. You clearly have high expectations of yourself (like I do), and it's difficult not to apply those high expectations to your desired partner as well. In my case, the problem is that I'm looking for an equal who does not seem to be forthcoming, and I've come to the conclusion that I have to lower my standards if I don't want to be single for ever. Nobody ever said life was fair Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Oh my, are you asking me to cook for you? O.o Well, since you asked. Actually, I'm looking into finding a ceramics studio. I love throwing pots on a wheel. It's like Zen for me. I'm kinda shy so unless I figure that one out, it may help, but only enough to get me to meet them... which I guess is half the battle (I just realized that I quote GI Joe. >.<) You and Island Girl have had great ideas and you've got me thinking about several ways I could meet people. I just need to crack this shell I put myself into and get out and do something about it. That's the biggest hurdle for me right now. Yes. I think anything that is already an interest. Something that gives you time and a chance to open up in a no pressure sort of way is a win no matter what. That's a great idea...c-r-e-a-t-i-v-e. You're getting better and better all of the time, Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 I play WoW, but mine is a Druid Contrary to your opinion, I would actually be very interested in a guy who plays video games, because he wouldn't have a go at me when I want to play them - he might even play them with me! It's just a matter of finding the right person who enjoys the same things you do - the right partner will accept your hobbies and possibly even share them, not be put off by them. I know there are women that would prefer a guy that likes video games like they do. I've even met some in their 40s, so I wouldn't say that that applies to everyone. And having an ex from WoW it was fun to play with her (in the same room) when it was really good. When it was bad, it was a little too much like work, but by then, it wasn't the WoW that had soured the relationship. (80 Prot Pally, 75 Rogue, BTW) Bah, you haven't heard of online shopping? Ever heard of sunshine and fresh-air? Maybe the chirpy-chirps of birds? People watching? Are you me? If you and I were the same person, then you would be here and we would both be happy. What are you waiting for? If she demands it, do you really want to date her? Sounds to me like if she insisted on killing bugs she would be a very uncompassionate person. Squishing any animal unnecessarily (even a bug) isn't nice - they have a right to life too - and spiders especially are our friends. In my house, any living thing that can be rescued is carefully placed outdoors where it can toddle off and be about its business. This is actually my philosophy. I would rather keep spiders around knowing that they are going to take out the real pests (roaches, flies, mosquitos). So I've always been kinda Buddhist in that way. I don't kill on my own. I've been asking myself the same question for the last fifteen years, and I still don't have a satisfactory answer. Perhaps other people have lower expectations than I do, so they settle for a relationship that I would have been dissatisfied with (however as I get older settling is beginning to look like a much more attractive option). Hitting 30 is a big psychological milestone if you're still unmarried with no kids, and it's natural to question your life at that point, and to wonder why it didn't happen for you. Let's face it; in general people usually expect to be married with kids by 30, and it's a bit of a shock to find yourself 30 and single. Sweetpea, I've been to the UK... gorgeous country... need a roommate? ROFL The key question is this: Are there women who would be (or were) happy with you, whom you would not be (or weren't) happy with? That's a chicken or egg question. Was I unhappy with her, so she became unhappy with me? Or was she unhappy with me, so I became unhappy with her? There inlies the challenge. It has to be reciprocal regardless and in my mind, someone has to know how to "push" all the right buttons while being respectful of you as a person. I found myself in relationships feeling like the emotional mule and often times the financial ox, while having my freedoms curtailed beyond reason (You can't see your friends or I will become upset). You see, I always complain about not having met a good guy, but my ides of "good" is asking rather a lot compared to what other people are satisfied with. The truth is that I've dated a few nice guys who really liked me and wanted to marry me, but they just weren't what I was looking for. You clearly have high expectations of yourself (like I do), and it's difficult not to apply those high expectations to your desired partner as well. In my case, the problem is that I'm looking for an equal who does not seem to be forthcoming, and I've come to the conclusion that I have to lower my standards if I don't want to be single for ever. Nobody ever said life was fair I've always wanted an equal: companion, partner, and lover. I've always wanted someone who would be as devoted and loyal to me as I would be to her. I want mutual respect. I hear you, hun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zansatsu Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 That's a great idea...c-r-e-a-t-i-v-e. You're getting better and better all of the time, Lol. I'm trying. Link to post Share on other sites
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