longlegzs80 Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 I mentioned in another thread about this customer who keeps comming into the store and always stares at me. Anyways, we been talkin alittle, and taken little baby steps but I don't know. I really think this guy is hot and I think he could be truely interested. But, how can you tell for sure if someone is interested or just being nice? Another thing is, what can I do to improve on myself as far as not saying anything negative when I respond to him? Maybe, I wish this guy was into me but think he is interested in me with just the way he acts around me. Yesturday when he came in, he was starring, smiling and blushin alittle and makin funny faces to make me crack a smile. WEll, I think that was his purpose, but I don't want to build it up anymore in thinking that maybe he is into me when really he might not and is just a friendly flirty guy towards me and no other women at my workplace. Who knows. HELP. Does it sound like this guy is into me or what? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 People very often like people who like them. Why don't you just show him you like him? Don't go overboard; don't be the one from Fatal Attraction, but look happy to see him (if you are, of course) and be nice to him. Don't analyze him - instead work on showing him that you appreciate him. He'll either warm to that or he won't and then you'll be able to make the next step. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Hi Long.... Glad you found someone to spark your interest!! There really isn't any sure way to tell unless ONE of you get over being shy long enough to strike up a conversation. LOL! Try to make some eye contact....keep smiling....and hope he can get up the courage to come talk to you. As far as how you should respond.....just be YOU....you are a wonderful young woman! I have total confidence you will come across as being sweet and the kind of girl any guy would want to take home to meet Mom. Keep me updated!!!! Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted December 4, 2003 Share Posted December 4, 2003 Originally posted by moimeme People very often like people who like them. Why don't you just show him you like him? Don't go overboard; don't be the one from Fatal Attraction, but look happy to see him (if you are, of course) and be nice to him. Don't analyze him - instead work on showing him that you appreciate him. He'll either warm to that or he won't and then you'll be able to make the next step. yes thats true to a certain extent ive learned from experience that you show just enough interest but dont go overboard or else theyll think you're annoying. show interest in him while having your own life, dont let his actions change your life around, kinda like making your schedule work for him but not for you....just keep those in mind when you see him again Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted December 5, 2003 Author Share Posted December 5, 2003 With the both of us in the curcomstances of me being at work and waiting on him, we do alot of starring and he makes very interesting faces. But, with me is I don't smile alot. Oh, I want to smile, but I don't want to make it so obvious that I think this guy is a hunk with having a grin or a large smile that goes from ear to ear. WE do talk alittle. He always tells me to smile, but he has only seen me not smile 2 times when he has seen me. I just can't smile when someone tells me I should smile. It just don't work like that with me. But when he came in, I was holding back from smiling which was really hard. I just don't want to look like a fool and think he is interested or build something up that just won't happen. He is interesting. I am the only one he starres at. Wish I knew what he was thinking. I guess I don't have very much confidence in myself and wonder why he keeps starring at someone like myself. Maybe he likes tall blondes. But, I don't like when someone starres at me as much as he does. It really makes me nervous. And everytime he is in the store he makes me nervous. All the starring and smiling and checking eachother out or I think he is checking me out that it just makes me really really nervous. Maybe I am giving this guy a bad vibe. I really really want to show him I am interested, but I think I am by doing the starring and occasional smiling. What else can I do? What are other flirty things I can do to let him get suddle hints that I am into him? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 PLEASE don't HOLD BACK your smile. he himself told you to smile more!! good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Oh, I want to smile Then do it!!!! Be genuine. If you like the guy, let it show. People need that feedback. Even men Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted December 5, 2003 Author Share Posted December 5, 2003 When I would smile every once in awhile, I think that made him more at ease as far as communicating with me. It just happens very easy with me and I don't want to do or say anything that will scare him away or give him the wrong impression. Anywho, I don't know how long I am going to be at this job for because I have to get into my field or attempt getting into my field. I just wish I could talk to him like I can talk to any other guy. But the only difference is I am attracted to him and I think he might be attracted to me. But, it is so hard to say. With anything I wrote about him, does it seem like he is interested and just needs some direction of where I Am comming from as far as if I am interested in him? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Ahhhhh DAMMIT Long.... Just trip on him and FALL on him!!!! Guys are Sweeties....they like a girl to show some serious interest!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted December 5, 2003 Author Share Posted December 5, 2003 I know, I know. This is so bad. I can't believe I can't tell if someone is interested or what kinds of moves I can make to see if they are interested or whatever it may be. Its so hard. If I bump into him or fall onto him, it might be too forward. I just am trying to figure this guy out. He has done fine with making alittle conversation as much as the past 2 times he has seen me, he told me to smile. Of course my response to him was a negative one, but it seems he is still comming back to give long glances at me. And it is very odd. He does not talk to the other women workers or starres at them like he does with me. And can't you tell if someone is interested in you by the size of their pupils? The one time I was looking at this eyes and he was looking directly at me, and I would say his pupils were large, but who knows if that really means that they are interested. Why do guys have to be so difficult? I just don't want to become an obsessed freak and think he is totally digging me when he is just being a friendly guy. But, I just don' t get that from him. Kinda get a good feeling comming from his direction. Wouldn't it be great to start off the beginning of the new year with a man in my life? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 lol, ok. let's review your empirical evidence: the subject: a. looks at you for elongated periods of time b. looks at you differently than other workers c. smiles at you d. talks to you differently e. widens his pupils f. seeks you out i think you can reach a supportable tentative conclusion that he is showing signs of interest and attraction. evidently you reciprocate that interest, though perhaps not at the same level of physical intensity. your continued posting about him does indicate a high, even disproportionate, level of emotional intensity, however. it seems evident to me that you must not put your theory into the experiment mode. you have a theorem - he likes you - and you should test on the subject itself rather than a kind of placebo group. because the evidence you have presented is so clear to all, i suspect there is something else, something intrinsic rather than extrinsic, stopping you from pursuing this further. at some level i suspect you are looking to be reassured that this guy likes you, guys like tall blondes, you are attractive, etcetera. i might be wrong. but, if so, consider yourself reassured by your peer group and go out and do your own research now! grab that man for christmas before the opportunity slips away! cheers, j Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 it will probably help move things along if you focus on the guy a bit more. so far you have only gauged how he responds to you, what he might think of you and your appearance, how he might respond to you further, and how he treats you differently than other girls. that's cool - but hopefully once you are reassured your can redirect some of that energy onto him - what does he do? what does he talk about? is he funny? what kind of movies does he like or books does he read? what does he think about <insert> current event? why are you attracted to him besides his attraction to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 Originally posted by jenny why are you attracted to him besides his attraction to you? I really LOVED that point Jenny....I think we should ALL reflect on that before embarking on a new relationship!!! [color=red]........Arabess has to get past free beer and chicken wings......LOL!!!............[/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted December 6, 2003 Author Share Posted December 6, 2003 JENNY: I totally agree with everything you said. But, the reason why I keep posting almost the same thing is because I am unsure about if this guy is totally into me or if it is all in my head kind of thing. I guess I am looking for some reassurance as far as what others think and if what he is doing showing some interest. Plus, it doesn't help that I am so inexperienced when it comes to men and understanding them and whathave you that I just need to know for sure if this guy is interested or not. Hope all this makes sense. But, I don't want to act the way I have been acting around him. Kinda unfriendly well I think I have because I am not smiling the 2 times he seen me this last time, and I don't make conversation. But, I would love to talk to him more. Just opening up and feeling at ease when he comes into the store and not be so uptight or uncomfortable. I wish I can talk to him like I can to guys I am not attracted to. But it is really difficult. And too, when he comes into the store I feel like my face is about to explode because I feel like I am beginning to blush. So, I hope I see him again and did not scare him away. But what a flirt he is. I can tell. Another thing as far as what makes me interested in him as far as physical apperance goes is his eyes. There is something about the brown hair and blue eye combination that just draws me. Very sexy eyes. I can't really determine why else I am interested in for because I have just based everything on physical apperance because we have not chatted too much of course. But, I am totally attracted to him. But there is a problem too. He had kids. My boss for just the little conversation she has had with him knows that he has 3 other kids. Which she also told me he is single because the mother of this kid left him, so in someways I want to get involved with him as a serious relationship, but in other ways I don't because of the kids. Too, I get the feeling from my boss that she does not want me to like him at all so she would say anything to kinda throw digs to maybe he might not be interested in me. So, she is not helping, but anyways, I am totally attracted to him. There is more then just his looks, it is the way he talks to me when we do talk very very little and that is he sounds intellegent and is smiling most of the time and just seems like the kinda of guy I am totally attracted too. So super sexy. I want him, and feel like why would this guy like me or want to pursue something with me? That is why attitude. Its my shyness, my insecurities that are holding me back. What to do? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 I totally agree with everything you said. But, the reason why I keep posting almost the same thing is because I am unsure about if this guy is totally into me or if it is all in my head kind of thing Why does it matter? Worst case scenario - you say 'how's about we have a coffee together sometime?'. He says 'no thanks'. Big whoop. You will live and love again. You have created a thousand times more stress for yourself worrying about whether he's 'into' you than you would have had by just asking him out and having him say no. Time to be courageous. Quit telling yourself you are shy. Say to yourself "I CAN DO ANYTHING". Then, ask him to go for coffee. Look at it this way; you are offering someone affection. There is nothing awful about that. It's a gift you offer. Maybe he'll accept, maybe not, but there's nothing to be shy about in doing that. It's rather a nice thing to do, if you think about it. So do it!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted December 10, 2003 Author Share Posted December 10, 2003 WEll, I think tomorrow just like every week will be the day my hunk comes into the store. Ohh baby do I want his a$$. Very sexy. Want to get to know him like you would not believe. Anyways, my goal is to go to work in a good mood and have a killer smile if he comes in. What a hunk of cheese. Wish me luck. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 You GO, girl! Link to post Share on other sites
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