Anyone informed about or ever dated a schizophrenic?

[muse08]

Good evening all, i recently broke up with my guy a few months ago because of reasons we discussed repeatedly. he acts like he doesn't understand and as if i am the bad guy(gal).We were in contact for a little bit until i realized that i really had to let him go. since then though, he has continued to try and place blame on me, act as if he doesn't really know what's going on, and he continues to contact me acting and sounding very stoic and there are other reasons.feel free to read my thread about the breakup when you have the time.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t201109/

 

his text messages however, let me know that he is not taking no for an answer and that he will not accept blame for what HE did. i have observed his behavior and read information and listened to some advice from some people but not everyone. most people think that he sounds a bit insane.some have said psychotic. he always maintains this stoic expression especially when i'm addressing his negative behavior and when he is upset with me. when we're talking about serious matters. and, not sure how this relates to anything, but i would notice that he would have an unsual amount of saliva in his mouth and often act like he was either high or on some meds that made him stoic and uncoordinated and not be able to feel food around his mouth when eating in public, and other little details i noticed.

 

my question is how common is it for a sibling to have similar personality disorders as another sibling. my ex's brother is a clinically diagnosed schizophrenic.

>what's the chance of my ex hiding some personality disorder of his own?

 

>how can you tell if someone is on "meds"?

 

>what kind of signs are there for someone who may be schizo. and/or emotionally abusive.

 

>fyi, his father was abusive to his mother.

Edited October 22, 2009 by muse08

[carhill]

>what's the chance of my ex hiding some personality disorder of his own?

 

Entirely possible. Social skills can cover up a lot of mental defects.

 

>how can you tell if someone is on "meds"?

 

IME, their moods stabilize and are more predictable. An extreme would be 'flat line'; non-emotional state. Mostly, you get the sense that their responses are predictable and reasonable

 

>what kind of signs are there for someone who may be schizo. and/or emotionally abusive.

 

IME, unexpected and disproportional responses to normal situations and events; volatility of emotion; psychosis (seeing, hearing or smelling things/people which aren't there); inappropriate sexual behaviors

 

>fyi, his father was abusive to his mother.

 

Not indicative of organic brain disorder, but could be a manifestation

 

I never have dated a schizophrenic but do have some friends who have bi-polar disease and cared for my mom after she developed paraphrenia, a psychotic form of dementia. I could tell you plenty of stories, none very pleasant. One of my customers had an employee who is schizophrenic (medicated) and I still had to be careful around him (unexpected responses to normal interaction).

 

I would not date an unmedicated bi-polar or schizophrenic.

[muse08]

I never have dated a schizophrenic but do have some friends who have bi-polar disease and cared for my mom after she developed paraphrenia, a psychotic form of dementia. I could tell you plenty of stories, none very pleasant. One of my customers had an employee who is schizophrenic (medicated) and I still had to be careful around him (unexpected responses to normal interaction).

 

I would not date an unmedicated bi-polar or schizophrenic.

 

thanks for your responses. what age was the employee? was he flat?

 

my ex talks a lot and goes on and on when it seems like a conversation is over. he says things that come across out of place. i've noticed how waiters and waitresses look at him while listening to him give his order. they sometimes will look over at me in hopes of me making his order clearer.his speech is kinda slurred and could be due to some type of meds or a prior injury.he was in a coma for about a month as a teenager.

 

when we first met he was very flat and stared at me as i walked away... until i was clear out of sight.comments always very flat...and face very stoic...that's what standout in my mind a lot.in retrospect, i don't know how i got past the initial discomfort of his stares. he was very persistant...and he's calling now@12:09am...anyway,he was very persistant and i had just ended another relationship. so i think at the time the attention from him was nice while at the same time a bit awkward...

[carhill]

what age was the employee? was he flat?

 

At the time I worked for the customer (about a 15 year period), this employee would have been perhaps 40 when I started and mid 50's when I stopped. He ran the night crew at a public utility maintenance facility. Most of the time he was fine, but there were times where I could see wildness in his eyes and his responses were often nonsensical. It's hard to explain but I'd just get a weird vibe and knew not to joke around with him or start any sort of conflict.

 

My experience is that you'll find that a person with such mental illness will seem 'sharper' off their meds but with all the negatives of being non-medicated. On them, more 'flat'. I've seen this same nuance with bi-polar. I find the person more 'alive' and interesting non-medicated, but the negatives can be serious deal breakers.

 

IMO, once a efficacious drug cocktail is found (most of these types of illnesses are treated with a combination of meds), it's imperative that the patient remain on the meds, even if they 'feel better'. That's the hardest part, keeping them on their meds. I did it as a caregiver for four years. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

 

Just be careful with involving your emotions. I've gotten walloped more than once. Best wishes

[TwoForgiving]

You mention his stoic demeanor. Is it possible that he stonewalls? That I believe is a common affliction of passive-aggressive individuals. Does he do drugs (non-prescribed kind)? Because that can explain the other behavior. And schizophrenia can be predisposed within family members although it is not hereditary as far as I know.

[muse08]

You mention his stoic demeanor. Is it possible that he stonewalls? That I believe is a common affliction of passive-aggressive individuals. Does he do drugs (non-prescribed kind)? Because that can explain the other behavior. And schizophrenia can be predisposed within family members although it is not hereditary as far as I know.

 

thanks for this response.

 

he used to smoke cigarettes, a whole lot like 3 years ago and drink. few yrs before that he smoked a lot of "the other stuff". now he tries to act like he doesn't drink anymore, but when i broke up with him he had a half empty 6pck in his frig. fine, but don't fake like you're not drinking when you are a grown man and you decided to drink.i think he does it when he's stress and/or upset.whereas i choose not to drink or smoke. i think he was afriad i'd leave him for good if i found out certain things about him. i think that's part of this breakup now.many of his actions just aren't "normal" to me.

 

the thing is i really don't trust him much anymore b/c he tries to act like he is this perfect person only trying to do good now.and only 2-3 yrs ago he was out there doing stuff that conflicts with what he's currently trying to portray.

 

a few months ago, he was working and on his phone with me when he says an old friend(dude) just so happened to bump into him. he knew this guy b/c he lives in my ex's old neighborhood. i overhear the guy saying to my ex, "wow, i never woulda thought i'd see you working for them" or "i can't believe you doing this man." mind you my ex drives a tow truck. it's not like he's a teacher or a cop or judge or anything... so i thought to myself, "d*mn!, what was he like before...?"

 

this lead me to believe that his life was a bit different prior to meeting me and that he may still be dealing with some of the same "type of people"...know what i mean.

 

i always felt like some things were just not right with him and things keep coming back to me as i discuss our whole relationship.

[SageThyme]

Hmm... I'm dating a schizophrenic right now.

 

His affect can sometime be very flat. I didn't know it became more so when schizophrenics take meds - that's interesting. He will be flat, then abruptly burst into laughter at something, then calm back down again. He's worried that his medication isn't high enough, because he gets paranoid delusions sometimes.

 

He is very careful to be kind, however. He knows about my past history of abuse, and he says he wants me to have better. Sometimes he had difficulty letting out his emotions - he says a big part of it is the medications. They numb you. I used to take the same meds, when I was misdiagnosed. Some of them, with adverse effects, can literally make you into a living zombie. That's what Risperdal and Geodon did. Abilify messed up my vision and my sleep. Everyone has different reactions, and a lot of therapists are really leery to take their patients off meds or change them - particularly with a diagnosis as severe as schizophrenia.

 

There are different types of schizophrenia. One of them is primarily with hallucinations, where you see or hear things in your mind. Another one is with paranoia or delusions of grandeur, two extremes. Another one is one of either frenzied movement or catatonia. The last one, which is called Undifferentiated Schizophrenia, is a combination of all of them. Schizophrenia is very difficult to treat...

[SageThyme]

*I mean to say "a man with schizophrenia". I don't like reducing someone to being "a schizophrenic" because that's not all there is to someone. During my misdiagnosis I was reduced to that a lot, still am except now Dad says "emotionally disturbed". I'm trying not to perpetuate it. Old habits are hard to break.