Author WTRanger Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 i don't know if you read my posts but, yeah now he apologized and all this stuff wants to start over - justifying actions but right now i don't know..... i need to define priorities and i feel like right now this just doesn't seem right. unless he does something drastic to prove to me that he'll communicate - he'll get nothing from me. i even pointed out to him that we need to communicate to grow together since he was like i told you if we don't grow together we'll grow apart WTH, you're the one that shut me out (anyway, had to vent) ....... How much have you responded to him about this? The one thing you must be aware of is if you ignore him just because he ignored you. That does not solve the problem and makes you no better than him. You know how awful you felt, so don't push that negative energy back into the world. This is not a time for revenge for revenge's sake. That doesn't mean to run back to him, but it means to respond to him in due time or at least let him know you are thinking. Then whatever you decide you tell him, straight up. No BS. Then move on with your life. Only you and you alone know if you can put trust in this person again. Trust your gut. If it looks like sh*t, smells like sh*t. Chances are, its sh*t. You have your spidey senses for a reason. Trust them. Link to post Share on other sites
wondering_girl Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 hi WTRanger, no i did not do the whole revenge thing, even if he did that to me and ignored me i didn't do that i'm not that type of person...... i told him that in order for us to grow we need to communicate and addressed the communication is a critical issue in a relationship, i responded i think a couple of days after he said that... i'm still dealing with my trust issues now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WTRanger Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 Good to hear you responded in due time. He needs to understand that this isn't a quick fix deal. Regaining your trust will take time and massive amounts of effort on his part. For now, just keep focusing on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
wondering_girl Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 ya know, i am ok for now (i think).. and i don't know what's next, i addressed that but if he doesn't give me anything back, i don't really want to deal with it because it will probably repeat......because he was like let's take some time apart and start over and when i agreed that's when he tried to justify his actions - and said you know if we don't grow together, we'll grow apart, wait, isn't communication an important part? so i was like what?? he's the one that doesn't communicate, i also addressed 2 specific situations that were very hurtful because it seemed like he was still hung up on how the whole conflict started, not the way he behaved after that shutting me out and that's what i'm hurt about..... def, WTRanger for right now i'm just focusing on me... Link to post Share on other sites
angelfish2552 Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Went thru the same thing.... my ex quit talking to me, not that he ever talked much, but after 3 weeks, I was done..... When I told him I was moving out, he asked me if I was taking the dog...... He eventually got around to asking why - hmmmmm.... He always used to ask me the same question: "Now that you know how I really am, why do you stay with me?" Over the past couple of months, I have asked myself that same question - WHY did I stay with him for 5 years?????? The man was a liar, a cheat, and full of BS. He had a new girlfriend living with him less than two weeks after I moved out. Link to post Share on other sites
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