g29er Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Here is my story. I met my fiance at work. I knew that she was the "one" when I met her. I am 34, she is 42. She moved here from China about 5 years ago and she met an American guy, came here and married him. It didn't work out between them and she has been divorced for 2 years. We started dating last Christmas and we really hit it off. During the summer I knew that she was the women that I wanted to marry. Her birthday was on August 15th, and I took her out to Millennium Park in Chicago(beautiful spot) and I asked her to marry me.She was totally surprised and she said yes. The ring I gave her was a .90 carat Princess cut ring in 18k white gold with platinum prongs which I thought was a very nice ring. I purchased it off the internet. Everyone at work thought it was beautiful,and I always see woman staring at it. A few weeks later she asked me where I got the ring and told her. She was really pissed and gave the ring back to me. She wanted me to get it at an actual jewelry store. I thought I was smart for trying to save some money instead of paying the high markup at a retail place. Either way, the ring wasn't cheap and I spent a good chunk of my savings on it. She basically called off our wedding after we had put a deposit down on our reception. Things cooled down for a while and we were fine, even though she refuses to wear the ring. I conceded and told her that we would go out together and pick one out even though I am still in the hole for a few grand. It is hard to sell an engagement ring for what you bought it for. When we went out looking at rings, she found one that she liked,however, it cost $12,000!!! And that was just for the stone. I told her that the ring was a little more than I wanted to spend. Actually a lot more. She said that we could pay it off together and I said that I didn't want us to start our new life in debt because of a ring. She refuses to budge on this. Tonight at work I was leaving and she brought it up again and I said no. There are alot of nice rings out there for less than that. We were sitting in my car and she accused me of buying the ring for someone else because it was sized when I gave it to her. I Already knew her ring size(size 4) so I had it pre-sized so she could wear it when I gave it to her. I ordered the ring on Sunday Aug 9th and had it shipped Next Day and I took it to a jeweler and paid $90 dollars for rush service so I could I have sized by Saturday, her birthday. She said that was impossible. I even offered to show her the receipts. She said I was cheap and she accused me of using her birthday as the day to propose so that I wouldn't have to buy her gift as well. I took her out to a really nice dinner afterwards and I got her a card. She went so far as to call me a liar and slapped me across the face and left. What the hell do I do now? I love her but she is coming across as a spoiled little bitch. I put a lot of thought into how I would propose and had the whole day planned out. I didn't think it mattered where I got the ring. I am heartbroken. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Dump the shallow witch. I can't believe she slapped you and you are still considering spending the rest of your life with her. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I love her but she is coming across as a spoiled little bitch. She's coming across as a spoiled little bitch because she is a spoiled little bitch. Any chance her decision to come here from China had very little to do with love? I'm so sorry you're going through this, but be glad you found out now, before it's too late. You seem like a kind and thoughtful guy, and you deserve so much better than her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr-T Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 man I feel for you. I got my wifes engagement ring online and its a bloody nice one. to get the same in the shops would have cost over £2000, IMO most women would be happy to have a ring on their fingers, not to say that " my ring is bigger than yours." I think that she is being materialistic, and very shallow. The ring is not about the size of the diamond, its about showing how commited you are to her. Hope this helps Link to post Share on other sites
Malenfant Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 that is one of the most ungrateful things i've ever heard. If someone treated me like that i would loose all respect for them. here's a thought, get the setting she wants and match the diamond she wants with a cubic zirconia. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr-T Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 here's a thought, get the setting she wants and match the diamond she wants with a cubic zirconia. Thats not very helpful advice really! Link to post Share on other sites
Bumble Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Wow. I'm so sorry that she did that. I am sure this is an incredible shock to you. Women are weird when it comes to weddings and engagement rings. When my fiance proposed to me, he gave me a diamond that was a little smaller than what I had hoped to get, but since I'm not crazy, I made up for it by just getting several diamond accents (which was quite inexpensive, nowhere near $12,000!). So, it was a compromise. I seriously doubt a compromise would work in your case! It'd still be ridiculously expensive for you! Maybe you should try just talking to her and asking her why the size of the gem matters so much to her. Maybe it has something to do with her ex-husband. If she has never shown any evidence of being a spoiled little bitch before, chances are she's either super good at hiding it, or, more likely, something about the ring is triggering some unhappy or un-fulfilling memories. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 That's not "weird" behavior. That is appalling, selfish behavior. Let's be honest - you haven't even dated her a year. You REALLY don't know her. People are on their best behavior when they start dating, and it takes a lot of time for the 'real' person to come out. You need to date AT LEAST through every full season, and through a series of BIG fights, and through a personally important political election. Write this off as a bad dating experience, bud; I'm sorry as I am sure your heart feels shattered, but you have dodged a very big bullet. She isn't going to like it when you buy a Honda at CarMax instead of a Lexus from a Lexus dealer, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 run. My parents have been married 40+ years and it is only in the past 10 years that they had the disposable income to "waste" on stuff like big diamonds. And they do and my mom loves it. But she earnt it through 40+ years of marriage. Her engagement ring at 18 yrs old wasn't a $12,000 ring, I'll tell you that. Link to post Share on other sites
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