Help, I am losing my girl

[mrbudgie]

I am deeply in love, with a girl with emotional problems, she is a single mother, her son is 5, she has just started back to work, and is finding life tough right now, she is easily stressed, and is a recovered manic depressive, who is on medication, and will be for the rest of her life.

 

I fell for her almost 3 months ago, she told me she loves me, and i believe her, but i have never felt like this before, and i am head over heels in love with her, and i showed it, by calling her all the time, wanting to be with her, and never giving her a momnets peace. She found she could not handle it, and we broke up twice before.

 

After our last break up we agreed to be friends, but it did not last long, we jumpoed straight back inot a relationship.

 

It went really well, till she went away for a week, and i constantly called her, when she returned we had one good day then i went to her house, though he asked me not to, and we fell out.

 

She has ended the reltionship, and says we can be friends only, and not to call her for a couple of days, I have not called her but i have emailed her. and sent ter text nmessages to her phone.

 

She has asked for no messages, which i am trying to do, but i lobe this girl, but i also value her friendship, she says we have a bond that is deeper than love, and once said we would make good friends, but am i losing that now?

 

Anyway advice at this time would be welcome.

[Tony T]

You have absolutely no respect for this girl...and you expect her to want you.

 

You bug the crap out of her, go to her house when she asks you not to, you send her Email and phone messages when she tells you to ease off.

 

First, you are a lovesick pup and women are simply not attracted to that. Second, you have no manners whatsoever and you bug the hell out of her when she asks you not to.

 

You give her NO reason to like you, much less love you.

 

Find someone who can teach you manners and respect for people's space. If you learn well, you will be able to conduct a normal relationship and find the love you seek.

 

Furthermore, women get real sick real fast of a guy who calls all the time, is around all the time, that won't give them any space. How is it that you have never found this out. Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing something the same way over and over but expecting a different result. Are you in that category???

 

Ladies want a challenge, a man who is unpredictable...a man who can do without them. You are simply too easy for most. This lady even has some serious medical problems and still won't put up with your crap. For the sake of the world, LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!

 

I know of few women worth having who would go for a guy in your present state.

[mrbudgie]

It was only one week ago that she told me that she has never been happier, well about 2 weeks ago, its was only 3 weeks ago that she told me if she could have kids again she would want them with me. It was only 5 days ago that she told meshe is happy with me 80 percent of the time.

 

I do not think you have the right to call me a love sick puppy, i came to this site for advise and help not insults.

 

I have had many mnay relationships and only this one has affected me so.

[Tony T]

You are correct, I was rude and I apologize.

[Ms. BPD]

Mrbugie, perhaps I can shed some light on what this lady is going through.

 

I, myself, have BiPolar Affect Disorder (Manic Depression). It took years before an effective medication was found and I have now been stable for almost 2 years.

 

Before I was stable, and even many times now, I NEED space! A lot of space. There are times that I do not desire to speak to anyone on the phone much less in person. It is merely a phase of the disease. There are many excellent sites with much information regarding Manic Depression on your search engines to help you understand how she is feeling during this time so that it will make it easier for you to respect her wishes and not to feel that you need to be there to help her. One such site is http://www.dogpile.com then type in "Bipolar Affect Disorder" and you will have a varitable wealth of information.

 

I know how difficult it is for you to stand back and watch her when she becomes morose and you feel you want to help. But, believe me from experience, she NEEDS this space she asks for.

 

This is just a hunch, and I may be way out in left field, but just how stable is her condition? Like I said, many doctors tried me on many medications until, finally, about 2 years ago, I was placed on Celexa 20mg once a day. That finally did it for me. Yet, I STILL have my days (usually several days in a row) where I need to be away from everyone and everything and get my head back together.

 

I am a lovely, kind, dear lady (as I am sure your girlfriend is), this is just such a disabling disease. If you take the time to look at the various sites, you will see that it is usually chemical and many times runs in the family (genetic).

 

Be patient with her if you love her. The very greatest gift you could give her is to educate yourself more regarding her disorder so that you will be better able to communicate with her, know how to, when to, when not to. That is what I wish most that men who want to be involved with me would do.

 

This is NOT an impossible scenario, but it will take almost as much work on your part as it does on her part to remain functional and happy.

 

Good luck, Dear

[mrbudgie]

Thank you.

 

Though like i said in my original posting, i have already lost her as a girlfriend, but her friendship is more important. She is a fantastic girl, and i have read much material on her illnes(it actually happened after she had peurperal psychosis aftr childbirth) she is now on lithium meication.

 

I know the end was brought on by me not giving her space, and i have never been so "obsessed" with a girl like this, this is a new area for me and i do not like myself for the way i have behaved, and if i could turn back the clocks i would.

 

Anyway

 

thats all