ThisHurts Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 I'm very glad my buddy found this site, it means I can finally get some help from people. My problem is: I think I'm lesbian. I say THINK because I've been married for the past 5 years to a man I absolutely ADORE. I think the world of him and believed we were truly soul mates. I'd never cheat on him, but I don't know if being attracted to someone else could be considered cheating? Anyway, here's what is bothering me: A few days ago, I came across the photograph of a woman that I instantly felt "ATTRACTED" to. I was so captivated that I found myself think..."Hmmmm...wonder how she is in BED?!" Basically, I shell shocked myself too much to be able to function well ever since. I've never ever in my WILDEST DREAMS suspected that I could have such tendencies. I've always dated men, had a few bfs before I met my husband and such a thought has NEVER crossed my mind before. I've been around very, very attractive females before and have enjoyed some deep friendships with truly gorgeous women, so this sudden and gripping attraction is baffling me. Would it help to know that she was dressed in a formal, corporate outfit in the photo (she's a high ranking executive with a Fortune 100 company), not in anything frilly and girly? What really disturbs me is that I have become obsessed with this woman. I've found out who she is, where she lives, her personal life, her professional life... etc. I'm getting very disturbed here... does anyone have any suggestions? I'm too ashamed and too embarassed to tell my husband and my real-life buddies. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 You could be bisexual. Lord knows there's plenty of tales of adults realizing their true sexuality - my ex was one. You'll want do some reading, I suspect, and possibly visit some bi and lesbian sites and forums and see what they're like. I have known of couples who have managed to make arrangements to accommodate one bisexual partner. But wait until you've done some more exploration before you start thinking about whether or not to discuss this with others who know you. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 I agree with Moimeme....I think you should "explore" it further before making any statements to friends or family. I would think there should be more signs than just a pic of a woman which would cause you to question your sexual preferences. It's MY understanding.....and I'm no expert in this area......that homosexuality is not mainly a sexual preference of the same sex, but an emotional preference of the same sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Faerie Princess Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 doesn't mean you're at the end of your rope or you can't enjoy your husband. Talk with him about your fantasies, maybe he'll enjoy them. Do a web search about sexuality, homo-bi, etc. You might find out a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Faerie Princess Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 In looking back at your post again, it hit me that this is the problem SO many people suffer, being ashamed and embarrassed to the point where they don't talk to the people that they care about the most. If you can develop the kind of relationship with the man you ADORE who is your soul-mate, you could be able to share anything with him, and you'd find that relationship more fulfilling. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Don't be ashamed of having thoughts. New thoughts and ideas are what make us grow, even if you just have a fleeting crush on someone because they seem cool! Talking with those we care about can be one of life's greatest joys. Really sharing with another person can make you feel truly connected. Be open and honest with yourself and your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
bark Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 What really disturbs me is that I have become obsessed with this woman. I've found out who she is, where she lives, her personal life, her professional life... etc. I'm getting very disturbed here... does anyone have any suggestions? I'm too ashamed and too embarrassed to tell my husband and my real-life buddies. What I find disturbing , is not your sexual orientation, but your obsession with the photo of this woman executive, who is a complete stranger. I don't know the context of the photo--intenet, ad, magazine. I do believe, however, that it is highly unusual --based on a mere photo--to inquire into a complete stranger's personal and professional life. This smacks of stalking, and if I was that woman, I would not like it one bit. I suspect your obsessive preoccupation with this woman upsets you as much as the bisexuality issue. And if it doesn't , it should. Also, if you were a male poster, writing about your obsessive preoccupation with a woman in a photo, how many of us would be counseling you against stalking the woman. Boundaries, boundaries. If you want to test the bisexual waters, do it with real people in real space and time. Leave the woman in the photo alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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