I'm waiting for something... but not sure what.

[tigergem]

Please forgive me if this is in the wrong topic.

 

My ex BF is a compulsive liar. He is also a user, a thief and a psychic vampire. No two ways around it. Being in a relationship with him is very bad for me. Heck, being in a relationship with him is bad for anybody. NC should definitely apply. It's not like I don't know better.

 

So now, 4-ish weeks after he finally exited stage left for the 100th time (at least), he is calling me again.

 

Still lying, but in a much much worse deliberate way than ever before.

 

Yes I know this for a fact, that no he does not have a job, (he insists to me that he does) yes he is living with his mother, (not renting a room in his boss's garage until he gets paid and can get his own place) and ....

 

he apparently has his next victim in his sights. Poor poor Elizabeth. No I won't warn her. (Should I?) At least he was partially honest with her and told her that no he had not found a job yet. ILY. lol. Yeah something silly.

 

So he calls me, and at first, I called him out on his most recent lies. To which he ranted and bellowed at me... how dare I call him a liar. ROFL. (Too bad I know the truth, eh?)

 

So I shut up about it. After all, what is the point in arguing? Now when he calls me I just listen to his lies, knowing full well they are lies. And I don't know why I bother to listen. I listen to him tell me about his great job. How he wants to buy me a car. (Yeah I was pretty stupid and "loaned" him a ton of money that I won't see again.) Looking at houses for "us" to invest in. His sexual fantasies. yadayadayada...

 

And as I listen, this all feels like water running off a duck's back.

 

I'm not angry anymore. I am not hateful or spiteful. I've gotten way past the whole feeling sorry for myself victim mentality. I am not in love with him. I'm not hopeful or yearning. I just feel nothing for him. Nothing at all.

 

I already know that nothing he did to me is ever going to happen to me again. Ever. Because it could not possibly happen without my permission. Apparently I gave him that permission at some point. I must have been out of my mind.

 

So why do I bother to listen to his carp NOW? Am I testing my own strength? Am I being OCD? A glutton for punishment?

 

I would love to tell him how I know what I know, and just smack him in the face with it, but then I probably wouldn't get inside scoop anymore lol. But why am I even bothering to do that? What the hell is that all about?

 

I have half a mind to print out all the evidence and post it on the door of the place that I know he will eventually return to. I'm really tempted. Maybe if I knew when he was returning.... lol...

 

I feel like I am waiting for something. What? An opportunity to present itself? What am I waiting for exactly? I have no idea.

 

And why do you suppose he bothers to keep calling me and telling me all these stories anyway? What the heck is that? I mean, absolutely nothing that comes out of his mouth has a shred of truth to it! And I know this beyond any shadow of a doubt! Why is he expending the energy and the oxygen to do that?