I'm in love with my best friend!

[Aria]

Hi, I'm 19, and have been really good friends with this guy for about four years. But in the past year, it's turned into more of a friends-with-benefits thing. It started when he kissed me about a year ago, and we've made out a few times and been really affectionate and stuff. He is everything I have ever wanted in a guy and I can really see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Our friends, and even his parents have said we would be perfect together, and his mom has even joked about us getting married. Which all sounds perfect except for the fact that he doesn't feel the same way about me. At first I was afraid that all the physical stuff would ruin our friendship, but it really hasn't, we can still talk the same as we always have and still consider ourselves good friends. Since I know that is all he wants, I have said that I'm going to try to get over him, and he knows this, but whenever we're together we have no self-control and just get on each other again! This is really starting to hurt me, because I know he doesn't want a relationship, but will take all the physical stuff from me. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice about how I can deal with this and how I can get over it without completely cutting him out of my life. I don't think he means to hurt me with this and I don't think he's using me, I think he's just afraid of a relationship between us because he know how good it would be and he's not mature enough for that yet. I could be wrong about that, so if anyone has any thoughts about why both of us are acting the way we do and what I can do to help this situation, I would really appreciate it! Thanks.

[Tony T]

You know what you want, or at least think you do. He doesn't. But since he is a very willing participant in whatever you call your relationship, my bet is that he does have strong feelings for you but is afraid to face up to them or just too out of it to realize them.

 

Since he has known you for so long, maybe his love for you has just krept up on him gradually and he doesn't realize it.

 

I absolutely, positively, unconditionally guarantee you that if one day you told him you were getting serious with another guy, he would fall apart.

 

You're young right now, so you have time to wait for him to come around. But there is no way of knowing when that will be.

 

But one day, if he doesn't respond in a more positive way, you will have to cut him loose. That's when you'll find out just how much he cares.

 

Sorry, Babes, that's how it works sometimes.

 

"Love knows not its own depth, except in the hour of separation."

[billy the kid]

Aria, I agree with Master T, but I wouldn't wait, it will hurt you as much as him , but cut it off now.. No phone calls, no meetings, nothing cold turkey.. he will either see what he is missing or not care.. if he really cares he will find a way to let you know.. other wise you are wasting away days, months ,years waiting on someone who will never be there. now some people call this head games, but hey what is he doing with you now???I wish you the best.

You know what you want, or at least think you do. He doesn't. But since he is a very willing participant in whatever you call your relationship, my bet is that he does have strong feelings for you but is afraid to face up to them or just too out of it to realize them. Since he has known you for so long, maybe his love for you has just krept up on him gradually and he doesn't realize it. I absolutely, positively, unconditionally guarantee you that if one day you told him you were getting serious with another guy, he would fall apart. You're young right now, so you have time to wait for him to come around. But there is no way of knowing when that will be. But one day, if he doesn't respond in a more positive way, you will have to cut him loose. That's when you'll find out just how much he cares.

 

Sorry, Babes, that's how it works sometimes.

 

"Love knows not its own depth, except in the hour of separation."

[Lovelorn]

Hi, I'm 19, and have been really good friends with this guy for about four years. But in the past year, it's turned into more of a friends-with-benefits thing. It started when he kissed me about a year ago, and we've made out a few times and been really affectionate and stuff. He is everything I have ever wanted in a guy and I can really see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Our friends, and even his parents have said we would be perfect together, and his mom has even joked about us getting married. Which all sounds perfect except for the fact that he doesn't feel the same way about me. At first I was afraid that all the physical stuff would ruin our friendship, but it really hasn't, we can still talk the same as we always have and still consider ourselves good friends. Since I know that is all he wants, I have said that I'm going to try to get over him, and he knows this, but whenever we're together we have no self-control and just get on each other again! This is really starting to hurt me, because I know he doesn't want a relationship, but will take all the physical stuff from me. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice about how I can deal with this and how I can get over it without completely cutting him out of my life. I don't think he means to hurt me with this and I don't think he's using me, I think he's just afraid of a relationship between us because he know how good it would be and he's not mature enough for that yet. I could be wrong about that, so if anyone has any thoughts about why both of us are acting the way we do and what I can do to help this situation, I would really appreciate it! Thanks.

This guy is using you. Maybe he didn't mean to at first,but wake up and smell the betrayal.You sound like a really nice person. You don't deserve this. Maybe if you stop doing things with him he will wake up and maybe you to will end up togather. If not there is someone so special out there for you.