Bumble Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 A huge source of conflict between me and my fiance is the issue of this bridesmaid, which was 100% my idea and is now 100% my fault, and I'm not going to pretend this was a joint decision. I thought it was be meaningful and cute if we included our siblings in the wedding ceremony, his only sibling, his sister, as a bridesmaid, my younger brother as a groomsman, and my older brother as the usher. Well, his sister is absolutely nuts, and no one seems to get along with her. She's extremely moody, makes inappropriate jokes, and inappropriately gossips about people with the wrong crowd. My other bridesmaids, my friends, can't stand her, and though I've told them to just try to bear with it, I don't feel good about inflicting her on them. I can't stand the girl myself either and have a very difficult time not telling her to shove it. I wanted to ask my fiance's sister to step down a while ago so that another one of my friends could fill in, it'd be early into the wedding planning, and maybe that'd minimize the impact of this horribly bad decision I've made. Now we're 2 months away from the big day. My fiance worries that it would cause a huge disruption in his family (since his sister has a big mouth, and will tell every living soul of the awful horrible deed done against her). His mother is also a big-time grudge holder who always and will always side with her daughter, no matter how obviously wrong her daughter is. I see his point, but I don't know what to do with her. Every time I see her, she's nastier and nastier to me and about the wedding. She complains about everything and goes out of her way to be a pain. I already don't want any photos of her in my wedding book, but how do I cope with this? My fiance and I argue about this often and it's quickly becoming a strain on our relationship. Has anyone experienced something like this? What did you do about it? What works? Link to post Share on other sites
missalli87 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Hey I'm sorry to hear that. I would tell you to have her step down, yet since you say the wedding is two months away my advice is DON"T! Especially with the family disruption and her big mouth. I know other advice would be to say it's your big day, but it's two months away. I know it seems a long time away but girl it's two months. I have issues with my bf's sister like this and I just distanced my self from her. I would only talk to her and see her places where I really had too. It worked good for awhile. I would try to have as lil possible to do with her until your big day as you can. I know it causes stress on you and ur man but I think the best thing is to do is to bear with it and just avoid her until you have to deal with her. It seems that is the way she is and you can't change it so I wouldn't even suggest talking to her about it. Just bear with it. Good luck and Congrats! Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 His mother is also a big-time grudge holder who always and will always side with her daughter, no matter how obviously wrong her daughter is.Since your fiance's mother has this attitude, I would back off and let things go. Two months is nothing, compared to mother-in-law hell, for the rest of your lives. Your fiance grew up with this family and continues to try to keep the peace. Feel sorry for him. I know I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bumble Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 I would like to repeat that I am trying to find ways to cope with this. Obviously I can't change the bridal party this late in the game, which is why I need a little advice on how to handle this all. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
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