I guess he's not askin any time soon!

[Mary3]

Mathew and I don't fight a lot. We fight like normal couples do, but most of our arguments consist of what movie to watch or where to go for dinner. When we're apart we don't fight at all. We don't have a reason to anymore. In the beginning we had our squabbles but we matured and we learned how to move past them. It's weird because we both want the same things in life. The only thing I've found that we disagree on is that I want a Lexus and he thinks they're ugly.

 

Every couple fights. It's how you fight that makes the difference.

 

OP, if you're still here, sorry for hijacking your thread.

 

They call it *fighting right*..When we are together we don't fight , too busy enjoying eachother...but when we are miles apart , the stress of not being there makes us irritable.

 

I am a pretty easy going person and when suggestions are made for a movie or dinner I apt to go to most things. The only kind of movie I don't enjoy are the gruesome horror types. The Psychological Thrillers are good but Comedy is the fav...Thankfully he feels the same way...

[Rollercoasterr]

Our fights go like this

 

Me- "Let's watch Finding Nemo!!"

Him- *face palm*

 

Never serious. I couldn't tell you the last time we had a serious argument.

[ADF]

This sounds like a guy who flat out doesn't want to get married.

[Dhanna]

It is 2009 and I am amazed by how 1950's us girls are about a marriage proposal. There is a fantasy to it - but, it says nothing of the relationship.

 

Two years is not very long IMHO. This time gives you something to look forward to!

 

Compromise is important - and he sounds willing. Be grateful of that.

 

In the meantime, what is stopping you from asking him? Why do you need the fantasy? Are you more concerned with the fantasy than the relationship that will follow? I think many women are. We imagine calling our family and friends - getting the feedback that often follows such news. But in the end, this is only one small step in the hopefully long marriage to follow.

 

If kids are on the table, and you are in your 30's, I can understand your rush. Otherwise, be patient. Patience is the foundation of marriage.

 

good luck

[Dhanna]

I think you may be setting him up to fail. Why should he make up for the failings of your first husband? That is a terrible way to start a marriage.

 

Be fair, be real. Two years is not a long time and you building some sort of over the top proposal will most likely end in dissappointment.

 

 

Well, we live together,we act like we're married, where's the REAL commitment here? Are we just playing house or what? I want a BIG proposal because I didn't have that the first time around. I would love him to get creative in the asking. Some woman would prefer something quiet but I'm definetly not that personality type. If he's gonna keep me waiting,it better be good. LOL

[torranceshipman]

I HIGHLY disagree with you and take most of what you said as an insult.

 

Since I am in a LDR with a person living in another country I don't have the option to live near him without getting married. He cannot move to the US without a visa and I cannot move to Canada without one either. Sure I could go up as a tourist but I don't have the luxury of not having a job. I work for a living, and I'm VERY good at what I do. We are 1000 miles away from each other, not just a few hours. This had red tape and paperwork involved.

 

Yes, he COMPLETES ME. Take it or leave it, like it or don't. I sure as hell couldn't give a rats behind what you think about my relationship because you don't know it. You only know what YOU think. You don't know anything about anyone elses relationships. No one does. We can give advice here all day long, but at the end of that day no one knows our own relationships better than ourselves. I feel happy when I'm without him, but when I'm with him I feel like my life has come full circle.

 

And yes, I know all of my fiance. I know his ins, his outs, I know his bad habits and he knows mine. We have spent plenty of quality visits together (we actually had a month long visit a few months ago). I know and love him for every single one of his faults and he loves me for mine. Maybe you don't "get" that or understand. Maybe you think I'm buying into all this traditionalist crap that some of you on here seem to hate so much. And yeah, maybe I am. But honestly, as I said before I don't care what you or anyone else thinks about my relationship. I'll wear that big flashy diamond, I'll flaunt that big princess ballgown down that aisle, and I'll proudly take his last name.

 

Most of those who have not been in an LDR (and I'm talking one that is more than a few hours away) don't understand them. You have to make up for what you're lacking in the physical sense. You have to talk and communicate and find better ways to resolve an issue. Mathew and I have had plenty of years of practice at this and we've perfected it to an ART. And no, our relationship does not feel new to me each time we see each other. We act just like any other couple would that has been together for years.

 

In the beginning he put the toilet seat down. Now he doesn't even bother. And one day I'll get him back for all of those sleepy nights when I almost fall in the damn thing.

 

So all in all, I'm happy and secure in my relationship and my beliefs. I don't need you or anyone else telling me what I should and shouldn't do. You don't know me, you don't know him. My LDR friggin' rocks and if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would. He's that special and important to me. Every step I have taken in my life has brought me closer to him and that's all that matters. All of the icky heart-breaking stuff included.

 

And I will say this. I will greatly enjoy the getting to know him time that you think I'm missing so much. I don't understand why everyone who is semi against marriage thinks that once you get married everything explodes into this big massive fight and that the person you thought you loved turns out to be a monster. That isn't so. Maybe you've been scorned, I don't know. My parents went through a nasty divorce in which she had an affair for almost a year, but if my dad had been looking for the signs he would have seen them. I know what can happen to marriages to make them turn bad, but I also have seen plenty of good ones. I'm not afraid of the bad stuff.

 

Back to topic, this isn't my thread and I don't intend on making it mine.

 

Everyone has different opinions but I think this response was overly defensive - the poster who made the remark that you responded to here wasn't saying anything bad IMO, sounded like they were trying to help you. I can get why you might have got really defensive tho - I was once in an LDR when I was really young and it's true, people don't understand unless they're in it. I get that it is something that people often say 'oh that'll never work' to, and that you often have to defend it. But then again, I have to admit that now, having my partner around day in day out lends itself to a level of intimacy that I could never have achieved in that LDR. That's not a criticizm of your situation, just that waking up with someone, going home to them, sleeping in the same bed with them, waking up with them, day in and day out, gives you a lot that you wouldn't see from thousands of miles away. There is nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't diminish your love for eachother or the special nature of what you have, but at the same time it is very different. I am sure that if you manage to move to eachother, you'll experience that for yourself so it is all good.