Stuck in no girls land!!

[lau1247]

I have what most of my friends consider a good or even being describe as whole lot better than their life. I'm reasonably doing well in the financial area from a student point of view. I have great lines of clothing and gadgets here and there which most would envy. But the only thing I truly wanted is the only thing I can't get hold of, a girlfriend..

 

I'm kind, sweet, sensitive, good listener and i'm trying to improve my qualities in any possible way I know.. The only bad trait I think I'm emmiting is not being talkative kind of person or as one say "Charming the ladies with laughs".. but such tries bring no luck.. Lately as November came and hitting into december and the weather didn't contribute to the mood I'm in either. As it goes on, I can only sit back and envy what other can do and what I cannot.

 

Maybe this is because I'm asian? as the way I see girls are not racist but rather they fear that their other friends would laugh at her if she goes out with a fella other than their own race of people, if you know what I mean.. Please give advice

[Tony T]

I don't think your race has anything to do with it. There are many women of other ethnicities who are attracted to Asian men. You do have to get better in the talking department. Most females enjoy good communication. Be patient with yourself, that will come in time. You also need to be sure to get out among the people. What are you doing to meet nice ladies? If you stay inside at your computer all the time, that just won't happen.

[girlsview]

I don't think that your being Asian has much to do with it, if a girl is attracted to I don't think she'd care what her freinds thought, I know I wouldn't.

 

What is your social life like? Do you go out much? Night clubs, lounges, other social gatherings?

 

Here you said:

 

"Lately as November came and hitting into december and the weather didn't contribute to the mood I'm in either."

 

What mood is that? Doesn't sound too positive though, that can't be good for your luck w/ the ladies.

 

Try smilling more often and carry your self in a confident manor, go up to girls make conversation.

[lau1247]

well as social life goes, I go out every weekend depending on what my friends have plans.. Whenever there's an event I usually go except from gigs perform by local start-up band.. To me their music is hard to tolerate but that's just my opinion..

 

Anyway back to the point, as for night clubs and bars, my friends are still underage.. But they loves to drink, almost every weekend after our social gathering (that's the point where the girls have left and only a few guys still hanging about) they would find a place to hit the drinks and that's just not my type.. I would drink everynow and again but every weekend is just sad to me..

 

 

As for the weather, it means rain rain and more heavy rain in ireland in november and december. This lead to nothing more than staying in.. which is why the mood..

[yogi-mon]

If you dont try, you wont succeed.

Unfortuantly, most women are not confident enough to approach men, and they leave us

with the task. This makes the "players" get all the girls, and the nice, shy, quiet guys left

in the dust.

 

If you can get past the ice breaker, I'm sure most women will carry the conversation more

then you'd think. One trick shy guys can use is to ask themselves, "Ok, this girl looks interesting

I'd like to talk to her and see what she has to offer." By seeing what she has to offer you

rather than trying to sell yourself to her (with nice clothing and gadgets), she will feel

more inclined to make an impression. From this point all you will have to do is decide if she's

got what it takes.

 

Alot of guys forget that they too can be expect women to impress them with wit and charm.

[Adonaicole]

Get in the best shape you can get in. Women will notice you if you are fit and healthy. You won't even have to do the work. Exercise will increase your well being, confidence, stamina and make you feel good. About 4 years ago, I was 20 lbs overweight, now I do up to 500 situps a day, I can count my abs. Since I lost the weight women pay alot more attention to me, even if I wear loose clothing, it's as if they can sense your strength. Don't waste energy worrying, just do.

[moimeme]

I think they're picking up on your new confidence in yourself.

[yogi-mon]

There are alot of ways to improve self image.

But all of them come from within.

[thehappyclam]

Lau,

 

I really sympathize with your situation...Your post actually made me laugh because I have been there and felt that. I am also an Asian guy. Anyway, I am absolutely positive that there's nothing wrong with you...It's not your race, your look, your approach, your ability to make girls laugh, or anything like that. I once thought the same thing...why can't I get a girlfriend, why do they go for other guys, etc....Trust me that once you meet the right girl, things will go so well that you can just be yourself and she'll still fall head over heel in love with you...The important thing here, I must stress, is be yourself. You must be happy with YOU first...This means that you should spend time doing things you like, hanging out with friends you like, learning new things, talking to new people, etc...and not waste it looking for one girl...If you're not wasting your time/effort chasing after girls, you will realize that girls are much more receptive to you and will sometimes even make the first move...Women are generally attracted to successful, confident men, not needy guys who sit around hoping for a girlfriend to make them feel better. So instead of focusing on women, focus on yourself. The girlfriend situation will sort itself out. I know it's not a quick fix answer, but I swear it's the truth.