theumlaut Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) I'm 5'4" and looking for input from women about their view of guys that height and perceptions of attractiveness based on height Studies--scholarly and my own research on Match--show that only about 10% of women include my height in the height requirements/preferences they list on their profiles. Based on that statistic, 90% exclude me from consideration based on height, regardless of any other physical or else wise factor. Being in the bottom 10% is equivalent to being a "1" physically. Other physical factors play a part, but if you're written off by 90% based on one trait, that leaves you at the "1" level, no? My weight is dead on-average to a handful of pounds lighter, and I'm considered somewhat handsome, but I'm not sure how much effect they'd have on my looks "score" given the height issue. I'm far more then my height or appearance and have many great things going on, but the role of height is a question that always lurks. I intend to post another time with other questions relating to dating in real life, not on-line, where I think actually talking in person diminishes (somewhat) the "short height" disadvantage. Here's a Match message that brought the question into stark relief for me recently. She contacted me, then we shared about 4-5 messages from each of us, then I received this message: "I need to share something with you about which I'm very embarrassed, particularly since I'm the one who initiated our e-mailing. The reason I wrote to you is because you're obviously very bright and handsome, and I just didn't look at the stats. I'm 5'10." Our height difference is a problem for me, one that I won't overcome. I wish you all the best." O.K. She said she had just begun on-line for the first time ever, but she didn't look at the stats until after sending me 4-5 messages over a week? After the numerous good things she said, the great, fun, smart messages, and after having impressed her greatly, this happens. Sent me into a major downward spiral. I've received messages from other women about not being interested based on height, but not after being contact being initiated by the woman and after a long exchange. Wish she hadn't given me the true reason. Edited October 27, 2009 by theumlaut typos Link to post Share on other sites
Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) I dated a guy who was exactly 5'4. (He said he was 5'7 but he was 5'4...because he was exactly my height...lol) Anyway, I'll be honest and say I've never been more immediately attracted to anyone in my life than I was with him (he was well built and had a HANDSOME face). I was SO physically attracted to him, it was unbelievable. I was CRAZY about this guy. He also smelled really good. It's probably why I'm not picky about height to this day. It was really easy to kiss him and stuff because he wasn't a million feet taller than me! Unfortunately he loved dogs but hated kids (I want kids someday), I'm sure he was still in love with a past flame, and our personalities clashed. It ended up making me feel really bad over time, and it was hard to be intimate with him when I was so sad emotionally over him obviously not caring as much as I did. (He was hot enough that I let some stuff slide....lol!) Anyway, we broke up because I'm sure he didn't have feelings for me like I did for him...now he's dating some fetish model or something and being super busy like he always was. But anyways...he was 5'4. The 5'10 girl is really tall for a woman, so I don't think you should blame her that much. I mean, that's a half a foot difference between you two! Edited October 27, 2009 by Awesome Username Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 It will be tough..Women WORSHIP height They like tall men,wear those 4 or 5 inche heels to make the mlook taller Height is like gold to allot of women Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Guys who lack height usually have to work harder to be found attractive to women, but trust me, as long as you're truly confident in yourself--and you did say you have other things going for you--someone will come along. I'm 5'7", wear heels regularly enough that some people think I'm 5'10" , and my boyfriend is 5'5". I also see more guys every day who are either my height or shorter walking around my school's campus with girlfriends, so just have faith, continue to put yourself out there with confidence, and it'll happen. Hard to hear after being rejected so many times, I know, but trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Guys who lack height usually have to work harder to be found attractive to women, . When u say ""lack height" do you mean somebody extremely short or does anyone whos not above average in height not catch a womens attention right away?? Link to post Share on other sites
icemann12 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 im 6'5 and every girl i have ever dated has been 5'3 or less lol, except my current girl, 5'9, its awesome having someone closer to your height Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Oops, sorry, that was a bad way to describe it. I guess...hmm...well, judging from the threads I've seen on this site and what I've gathered from friends, guys who are, say, under 5'10". Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 There is a British singer/musician, Jamie Cullum, and he is tiny, but he is engaged to a supermodel so he didn't do too badly I think that if it really gets you down, just being really prag,matic....develop a really stunning physique and this will attract a lot of women. I know women do go for tall guys quite a bit but there are lots that don't, and even ones that do can be won over by a hot, hot body (-; Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 XH was 5'5", BF is 5'5". I am 5'7" and frequently wear heels, which both of them loved and encouraged. I don't judge men by height, and I expect to not be judged by my breast size. I have dated 5'4" to 6'4" - I much prefer 5'10" and below. Much easier to kiss and snuggle with, I can borrow some of their clothes, we can both lay on the couch on Sunday afternoons and watch movies together, and I really don't give a rat's ass about height if I am attracted to the man and if he is kind and loving. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Well I will commend you for being honest on your profile. That said, you are much better off find social groups where you can meet/interact with people so they can get to know you. Being confident (not cocky) in who you are and not seeking the approval of others is the key. So find a hiking, rock climbing, etc social group. You need to get yourself in front of available women so you can show them what is great about you. Yes, your height is not in your favor when online dating and many women, though they say height doesn't matter, it does. The said, the responses from the women on this thread should be a testament to you. There are plenty of women out there and available to you. Just understand that are at a slight disadvantage and that getting yourself in front of women is the best avenue for you to shine above other men. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I think it depends on a woman's height and her perception of how tall she would like her partner to be. I'm almost 5'6 and my BF is 5'6 and I have no problems with it now. Granted before I would've been like "hell no" if a man under 5'10 asked me out but my BF has changed my perception of things. So if you have a great personality and a woman is not a height snob you can still be extremely attractive to her. You don't want someone who looks down on you because of your height anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
eiithan Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 There is a British singer/musician, Jamie Cullum, and he is tiny, but he is engaged to a supermodel so he didn't do too badly I think that if it really gets you down, just being really prag,matic....develop a really stunning physique and this will attract a lot of women. I know women do go for tall guys quite a bit but there are lots that don't, and even ones that do can be won over by a hot, hot body (-; If you have ever been to one of Jamie Cullum live shows, you will know why. He is so full of energy, you gotta love the man ;-) I'd date OP if he has no problem being around my 5'7"+ sisters. I'm 5'5", and my ex was 5'6". Unfortunately he was often intimidated by my sisters' height :-( Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 First time I saw this I wanted to jump off a bridge, and I'm 5'10.. Don't let it get to you, but it unfortunately is reality. Link to post Share on other sites
MissJoness Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I really don't prefer short men. I gave one a chance though (we dated for a few years) but was never totally happy or content with him, always wished he was taller. Yeah being short really does take away from a guy's attractiveness in a way. I remember when my friend first saw my ex, she thought he'd be really hot only if he were tall (he was like 5'5) I hear a lot of girls say that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I wouldnt date a guy under 5'10" - I am 5'7" tho and that is why! I could never date a guy shorter than me no matter how good looking he was Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 From a personal aspect, I'm a 5'3 girl who prefers to wear heels to go out. So if I'd dated someone who's 5'4, I would tower over them significantly. It's sad to say it but even I have to draw a line on a guy who's on par with my height. I wouldn't want to date someone who's shorter than me when I'm in heels. It's just too awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 From a personal aspect, I'm a 5'3 girl who prefers to wear heels to go out. So if I'd dated someone who's 5'4, I would tower over them significantly. It's sad to say it but even I have to draw a line on a guy who's on par with my height. I wouldn't want to date someone who's shorter than me when I'm in heels. It's just too awkward. Do you realize you arent actually that tall? Im not saying u cant have preferences but the fact you wouldnt give a guy a chance who could be a great guy and attractive because you might be a little taller in a pair of 5 inch shoes sounds awfully silly to me.. And to the OP i think geting your answer in this thread..For whatever reaosn women worship height Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I dont think its about worshipping height ... I dont ever like a guy just because he is tall but I could not date a guy the same height as my 13 year old! Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I dont think its about worshipping height ... I dont ever like a guy just because he is tall but I could not date a guy the same height as my 13 year old! I dont expect women to want to date guy shorter then them but women who wont date someobdy their the same size or an inch taller then them in 4 or 5 inch heels sounds hillarious to me Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I wouldnt date a guy under 5'10" - I am 5'7" tho and that is why! I could never date a guy shorter than me no matter how good looking he was Imagine if a guy wouldn't date you because your boobs were too small, or what would you tell your son about women who won't date him because he's 5'6? Do you not see how shallow that is? A guy MUST be 3" taller than you for you to consider him? Meaning, you'd probably be happier with even taller, so Let's say 6' is your rule. You've eliminated 65% of men right there.. However, I've found the basical rule of dating, is that you have to be at least the height she is in 3" heels. Otherwise she cares too much about what her friends might think. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Do you realize you arent actually that tall? Im not saying u cant have preferences but the fact you wouldnt give a guy a chance who could be a great guy and attractive because you might be a little taller in a pair of 5 inch shoes sounds awfully silly to me.. And to the OP i think geting your answer in this thread..For whatever reaosn women worship height AD, I know I'm not that tall, but I wouldn't want to date someone who's the same height or even looks about the same height as me when I'm in heels. And I don't even wear 5 inches. I have 4 inch heels but even that will make it awkward with a guy who's 5'4- 5'5. Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Do you realize you arent actually that tall? Im not saying u cant have preferences but the fact you wouldnt give a guy a chance who could be a great guy and attractive because you might be a little taller in a pair of 5 inch shoes sounds awfully silly to me.. And to the OP i think geting your answer in this thread..For whatever reaosn women worship height But what would her friends think? Okay, the reailty here, is that women are far more picky, far more shallow than men could ever dream to be, and for the stupidest of reasons. To impress friends they don't even like. They love showing off. Do men care about shoes or handbags? Of course not. Women get that stuff like they like to be seen hanging off tall men... It's about insecurities and trying to impress others due to their insecurities. Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 AD, I know I'm not that tall, but I wouldn't want to date someone who's the same height or even looks about the same height as me when I'm in heels. And I don't even wear 5 inches. I have 4 inch heels but even that will make it awkward with a guy who's 5'4- 5'5. Do you even think for a moment how dishonest wearing heels is?You're trying to pretend you are taller than you really are. WHat would you do if you found out a guy you were dating wore padded underwear or was wearing shoes that made him appear taller? You'd probably be furious, yet why is it okay for you to do that? Oh, wonderbras as well.. Breast implants? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Imagine if a guy wouldn't date you because your boobs were too small, or what would you tell your son about women who won't date him because he's 5'6? Do you not see how shallow that is? A guy MUST be 3" taller than you for you to consider him? Meaning, you'd probably be happier with even taller, so Let's say 6' is your rule. You've eliminated 65% of men right there.. However, I've found the basical rule of dating, is that you have to be at least the height she is in 3" heels. Otherwise she cares too much about what her friends might think. yes a guy must be 3" taller than me at least. Shallow? maybe but I would also accept if a guy would not date me as my breast were too small as that was not what he wanted Yes it may be sizeist but we all have our deal breakers and loads of taller girls date shorter men, just not me! Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 AD, I know I'm not that tall, but I wouldn't want to date someone who's the same height or even looks about the same height as me when I'm in heels. And I don't even wear 5 inches. I have 4 inch heels but even that will make it awkward with a guy who's 5'4- 5'5. Im only 5'7 1/2-5'8 but u wouldnt date me because were the same height in 4 inch heels?? No offense if if a girl told me that id laugh in her face.. Just seems so damn silly Link to post Share on other sites
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