Male height in looks "rating"--Is 5'4" a "1"?

[CaliGuy]

That cliche fluff is all swell and that you have to love yourself first blah blah blah...

 

But if youre being constantly rejected you can still love yourself and accept your shortcomings but you cant knock somebody for being pissed over it and wonder at times, why some women can reject an otherwise good guy over maybe 2 inches and think to yourself women are insane..

 

You can not change your height so I say again: You can whine about it or you can live with it and move on.

 

What good does whining over something you can not change do?

[AD1980]

 

What good does whining over something you can not change do?

 

I dont think its whining about the height its whinign that women wont accept you because of it especialy when you're lonely and thinking about why that is..

 

Im fine with my height as it pretains to life in general but im not gonna lie and say it doesnt bother me at all that most women would overlook me on that alone..

 

This is a dating forum of so when my shortness pretains to the subject at hand which is dating and unable to get a date why wouldnt i be somewhat interested in the subject?

[AD1980]

And no offense but people telling short guys to stop whining arent short so i dont take you that seriously..

 

Until the majority of the dating poool is eliminated from you from the jump because of something you cant control dont tell people how to feel..

[kizik]

Ultimately though there is someone out there for everyone, and that doesn't just mean there is someone out there willing to be with you, it means there is someone out there that will be crazy attracted to you for you. That is often forgotten in the frustration of the dating game.

 

This is a great point and very well-said. Hopefully the short guy of life ends up with someone who loves HIM for HIM and isn't "settling".

 

I'm 4'11". 5'4" is perfect for me! :-)

 

Short guys, pay attention to the above. Find yourself a shortie -- literally! My ex, though a complete slorebag, was about 5'2". Though she apparently stopped caring about me, it wasn't because of my height -- what does a petite chick care? (Actually, sometimes they DO care -- I find myself laughing at ads from a 5'1'' chick seeking a guy over 6 feet.) BTW, "spinners" as they are known in the trade are awesome.

 

Short guys, as Cali says you can get all butt-hurt about the fact that women prefer the TDH (tall dark and handsome), or you can just go out and find some hot little chick who has to look UP at you (which rarely happens). Then you'll feel like the f*ckin MAN.

Edited December 12, 2009 by kizik

[AD1980]

This is a great point and very well-said. Hopefully the short guy of life ends up with someone who loves HIM for HIM and isn't "settling".

 

 

 

Short guys, pay attention to the above. Find yourself a shortie -- literally! My ex, though a complete slorebag, was about 5'2". Though she apparently stopped caring about me, it wasn't because of my height -- what does a petite chick care? (Actually, sometimes they DO care -- I find myself laughing at ads from a 5'1'' chick seeking a guy over 6 feet.) BTW, "spinners" as they are known in the trade are awesome.

 

Short guys, as Cali says you can get all butt-hurt about the fact that women prefer the TDH (tall dark and handsome), or you can just go out and find some hot little chick who has to look UP at you (which rarely happens). Then you'll feel like the f*ckin MAN.

 

The funny part is i usually get taller chicks into me,they seem to be less insecure about dating shorter guys then really small girls..Small girls feel like they have to overcompensate for their shortness..

 

To me it doesnt matter..Looking down or up on a women doesnt make me feel more or less of a man..

[kizik]

I guess the problem I have with threads like this is that they always start the same way.

 

Someone, a guy or a girl, considers themselves fat/short/ugly/whatever. They make a thread about "why does the fact that I'm [whatever] mean I can't get dates? The world is against me."

 

Then other people who are ALSO [whatever] chime in and say, "Yeah! That makes me angry."

 

But then a third group comes in and goes, "You know, those [whatever] people are really unattractive. I wouldn't want to date them, either. I just can't help myself - I like attractive people, and NOT [whoever] people."

 

At this point, the OP and the second group are like, "Well, I knew it. I don't have a chance in the dating world now. I felt unattractive prior to reading this thread, and this third group confirmed it; I am undesirable; there is nothing I can do to change it; I guess I'll have to 'settle'".

 

My opinion is that we're all stupid for saying any of this stuff. The dumbest are the ones who come in and make others' self-esteem even worse -- ooh, you're the attractive ones and YOU get to judge? Eat me.

 

At this point in my life, I have no idea if i'm short, average-height, good-looking or ugly. I have never asked anyone if I am short or ugly, because 1) if they said yes, I'd feeling like killing myself 2) they don't know sh*t, and 3) I think I'm overall pretty flippin' rad.

 

Does any of that translate to me getting dates? Apparently not. I am a 5'7" dude with a lot of positive qualities, and objectively I am actually surprised at the lack of girls in my life, after almost two years (!) of being single; am I that repulsive?

 

And then you realize that no one in this world owes you any attention, and that they're all very concerned with their own boyfriends and girlfriends and dating, and that even if they think you are ugly as SH*T: they are just one person.

 

I use the same mentality about my music. My music is good. I believe it's good, and I have to believe it's good. Do I get super-upset when venues turn me down for shows, when people don't listen at shows or talk too loud? No, because they have to do what's best for them and in my heart I know my sh*t is rad. The same applies for dating; in order to do it, you have to know exactly who you are at all times.

 

I guess my point is that going on a forum and asking for an opinion about what men and women like, is just asking for a random sample of 100 opinions that are all very different from each other, while occasionally intersecting. There are some universal standards for attraction but that doesn't mean we should be so quick to write ourselves and others off in such a glib fashion. It's always the people who deem themselves so attractive who are the quickest to bless us normal folk with wisdom from on high, this land of What Is Attractive. Well, those folks are generally overly concerned with attractiveness, which makes them unattractive to me.

[cognac]

I think kizik is a great example of how it IS about height and not about personality. He has what people call a "great attitude" and even is in a band and still has no girls in his life.

 

Why are you surprised it's because of your height.

 

 

The point made about dating short girls: I WISH! Short girls want to date shorter guys even LESS than tall girls do!

 

And please don't compare us to fat women. Obesity is a deformation of your body, not a natural variation. There is nothing wrong with a short guy from a health point of view, there IS something wrong with a fat person from a health point of view (and hence why humans are not attracted to it).

 

A short guy who is 5'7, good looking, and with great wit/intelligence/personality CAN ONLY be compared to a woman who has a B cup, is good looking and intelligent. SO WHY is it the latter is swimming in men lining up around the corner for them, while the short guy is damned to an eternity of "bottom of the barrel" dating no matter what he does?

 

There are just so many dealbreakers against men , that are insane. Most men will not think a woman with red hair is unattractive if she is decent looking, while women will think a ginger guy is ugly no matter what. Most men do not really care about a woman's clothes, but if your fashion's out of date most women will think you're a loser. Men don't care about money, women live for it and if you don't atleast have a car (no matter what the reason) you are again a loser. I can go on forever.

 

And you know what, it's all OUR FAULT. All we do is compliment women, make them feel like they're special, and I don't necessarily object to this. But I do when we men do it every 5 minutes wherever they go. Sure, if I am married to a woman I love she is special to me, but men pretend all women are special in an effort to get laid and it bloats their ego's to the point where they think they are ABOVE most men, even the ones who share their features! Most red haired women scoff at red haired men, short girls consider shorter (even if he's 7 inches taller)guys to be "half men", poor women consider dating an average income guy "settling", it's just banal. We got to all make a pact and bring women back to planet earth, that if they think our features are so ugly when they have them themselves, we should let them know it, like it used to be.

Edited December 12, 2009 by cognac

[kizik]

I think kizik is a great example of how it IS about height and not about personality. He has what people call a "great attitude" and even is in a band and still has no girls in his life.

 

Why are you surprised it's because of your height.

 

You completely missed my point, and I'll decline from being your example. BTW my attitude may be great, but yours borders on sexist.

Edited December 12, 2009 by kizik

[PJKino]

I think kizik is a great example of how it IS about height and not about personality. He has what people call a "great attitude" and even is in a band and still has no girls in his life.

 

Why are you surprised it's because of your height.

 

 

The point made about dating short girls: I WISH! Short girls want to date shorter guys even LESS than tall girls do!

 

And please don't compare us to fat women. Obesity is a deformation of your body, not a natural variation. There is nothing wrong with a short guy from a health point of view, there IS something wrong with a fat person from a health point of view (and hence why humans are not attracted to it).

 

A short guy who is 5'7, good looking, and with great wit/intelligence/personality CAN ONLY be compared to a woman who has a B cup, is good looking and intelligent. SO WHY is it the latter is swimming in men lining up around the corner for them, while the short guy is damned to an eternity of "bottom of the barrel" dating no matter what he does?

 

There are just so many dealbreakers against men , that are insane. Most men will not think a woman with red hair is unattractive if she is decent looking, while women will think a ginger guy is ugly no matter what. Most men do not really care about a woman's clothes, but if your fashion's out of date most women will think you're a loser. Men don't care about money, women live for it and if you don't atleast have a car (no matter what the reason) you are again a loser. I can go on forever.

 

And you know what, it's all OUR FAULT. All we do is compliment women, make them feel like they're special, and I don't necessarily object to this. But I do when we men do it every 5 minutes wherever they go. Sure, if I am married to a woman I love she is special to me, but men pretend all women are special in an effort to get laid and it bloats their ego's to the point where they think they are ABOVE most men, even the ones who share their features! Most red haired women scoff at red haired men, short girls consider shorter (even if he's 7 inches taller)guys to be "half men", poor women consider dating an average income guy "settling", it's just banal. We got to all make a pact and bring women back to planet earth, that if they think our features are so ugly when they have them themselves, we should let them know it, like it used to be.

 

I think youre going a little overboard but height does play a factor

 

For instance a few of my really good friends fiances/wives im good friends with as well..

 

They are literally like my sisters yet thyeve never tried to hook me up with one of their single friends, yet this guy in our cirlce of friends whos kinda of socially awkward and aloof and they arent nearly as close to as me theyve tried to set up many times becasue hes the tall good looking dude,kinda hurts but it is what it is they know what women like and i gues its not me..

[kizik]

@ cognac:

 

while short guys definitely do get less play, I was not throwing a pity party. You are. A big, vast, angry, misogynistic victim woman-hating pity party full of cynicism.

 

So enjoy it, it lasts forever and gets worse every day.

[Yukikazi]

LOL.. ironic.. I went up to a tall chick tonight and asked her how tall she was..

"Too tall for you" was the response.

I'm 5'11.. she was like 6'5 or something.. was funny

[Mook]

Hmmm. I'm sorry I can't add anything positive to this conversatin other than my anecdotal evidence.

 

I'm 6'2" so I'm on the other side of this conversation.

 

This whole height thing has historical significance, it goes back hundreds, if not thousands of years. Nicolas Sarkozy stands on a box when he gives public speeches. Humphrey Bogart stood on a box in his movie scenes in Casablanca. Napoleon had huge boots made so he'd be taller and always rode on the biggest horse, so he'd be taller and appear in control. Thus the "Napoleon Complex"...if you didn't know.

 

The bottom line is, as others have said, NOTHING is going to change the fact that you are short-er. You have to find YOUR way of rising above it, moving beyond it and living your life. There ARE people out there that either don't care or are just as tall or shorte than you are.

 

Good luck.

 

It's so funny how women use the "Napoleon Complex" as a way of describing short men. But in actuality the "Napoleon Complex" is completely wrong. Women think that Napoleon was this short guy but if you actually look it up/google Napoleon it's noted that "Napoleon's height was 5 foot 2 inches but his measurement was in French feet (pieds de roi) and was never correctly converted to standard English measure. In English feet, Napoleon's height was actually around 5 foot 6.5 inches tall. Napoleon was shorted a full 4.5 inches in height."

 

So women are completely wrong about the whole "Napoleon Complex" issue and now is completely useless even trying to defend the whole height issue with the "Napoleon Complex" issue as his height is totally wrong and he was not really that short. Ha Ha women completely keep loosing the whole height debate/argument!!!

[PJKino]

I have no problem with preferences and what people are attracted to my only problem is theyres seems to be almost an anger and condescending attitude women have towards shorter guys in general,why is that?

 

Are women all parnaiod and feel vulnerable in the world so they think some short guy cant help them or something?

 

Its almost as if they judge a mans manhood on how tall he is which is assinine..

[sonicranger]

 

So women are completely wrong about the whole "Napoleon Complex" issue and now is completely useless even trying to defend the whole height issue with the "Napoleon Complex" issue as his height is totally wrong and he was not really that short. Ha Ha women completely keep loosing the whole height debate/argument!!!

 

 

 

I agree COMPLETELY. But you highlight the whole problem. It doesn't matter what REALITY is, its PERCEPTION that BECOMES reality.

 

Just as I listed my examples I will list more famous, "short" people. Tom Cruise, Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Brad Pitt, Jason Alexander...the list goes on. Now are these guys all really that short? No of course not, most of them are probably within the statistical average for caucasian males.

 

What is one of the most common observations people make when they see or meet these people in public???? Oh my, I didn't know he was so short!!!

 

Perception becomes reality. People believe what they want to regardless of the facts. I'm a thin guy, 6'2" at about 170 pounds, so people just assume I don't eat or there is some other problem with me. I can't help metabolism, I can't help my genes but people perceive what they want.

 

We all have our "demons", I'm very thin, you might be short, someone else lost their hair, WHATEVER. You cannot dwell on that and allow your life to be ruled by what OTHERS think or believe, otherwise you'll start to believe it yourself and then where will you be?

[PJKino]

It's so funny how women use the "Napoleon Complex" as a way of describing short men. But in actuality the "Napoleon Complex" is completely wrong. Women think that Napoleon was this short guy but if you actually look it up/google Napoleon it's noted that "Napoleon's height was 5 foot 2 inches but his measurement was in French feet (pieds de roi) and was never correctly converted to standard English measure. In English feet, Napoleon's height was actually around 5 foot 6.5 inches tall. Napoleon was shorted a full 4.5 inches in height."

 

So women are completely wrong about the whole "Napoleon Complex" issue and now is completely useless even trying to defend the whole height issue with the "Napoleon Complex" issue as his height is totally wrong and he was not really that short. Ha Ha women completely keep loosing the whole height debate/argument!!!

 

But to women anything under what they find sexy or acceptable is "short".

 

5'9 is average for an american male im 5'8 only an inch under the norm and have bene called a midget by 5'1 women.

 

Women dont deal with facts or logic they deal with their emotion so whatever is the cut off height that visually stimulates them is short in their world.

 

Women are goofy.

Edited December 12, 2009 by PJKino

[Hi.P.O'Crit]

LOL.. ironic.. I went up to a tall chick tonight and asked her how tall she was..

"Too tall for you" was the response.

I'm 5'11.. she was like 6'5 or something.. was funny

 

Not seeing the irony. I do see the similarity with respect to this thread. If your approach is as you state here it was poor. She was rejecting your approach and height was the easiest way for her. What the short men here are stating is that the initial approach is often an uphill battle. Many/some women already don't want to talk to you due to your lack of height, under 5'5" sometimes more.

[Pizzaman81]

I laugh at this thread and at the OP

 

I'm only 5'2 and asian (dun dun duuun! What is that, a -2? ) and I've never had serious issues with dating. ...

 

Haha is the -1 from the height and -1 from being Asian? That's funny.

[b52s]

I'm 5'4" and looking for input from women about their view of guys that height and perceptions of attractiveness based on height

 

Studies--scholarly and my own research on Match--show that only about 10% of women include my height in the height requirements/preferences they list on their profiles.

 

Based on that statistic, 90% exclude me from consideration based on height, regardless of any other physical or else wise factor. Being in the bottom 10% is equivalent to being a "1" physically. Other physical factors play a part, but if you're written off by 90% based on one trait, that leaves you at the "1" level, no?

 

My weight is dead on-average to a handful of pounds lighter, and I'm considered somewhat handsome, but I'm not sure how much effect they'd have on my looks "score" given the height issue.

 

I'm far more then my height or appearance and have many great things going on, but the role of height is a question that always lurks. I intend to post another time with other questions relating to dating in real life, not on-line, where I think actually talking in person diminishes (somewhat) the "short height" disadvantage.

 

Here's a Match message that brought the question into stark relief for me recently. She contacted me, then we shared about 4-5 messages from each of us, then I received this message:

 

"I need to share something with you about which I'm very embarrassed, particularly since I'm the one who initiated our e-mailing. The reason I wrote to you is because you're obviously very bright and handsome, and I just didn't look at the stats. I'm 5'10." Our height difference is a problem for me, one that I won't overcome. I wish you all the best."

 

O.K. She said she had just begun on-line for the first time ever, but she didn't look at the stats until after sending me 4-5 messages over a week? After the numerous good things she said, the great, fun, smart messages, and after having impressed her greatly, this happens. Sent me into a major downward spiral. I've received messages from other women about not being interested based on height, but not after being contact being initiated by the woman and after a long exchange. Wish she hadn't given me the true reason.

 

I'm like 5'8" , 5'9" and that can be unattractive to women....at 5'4", women think a height for a man that tall, is just uncalled for for most women.....not meaning to insult you or anything, but you can forget the online gig for meeting women, because they'll pass your profile over quickly.

 

At her height...which is VERY tall for a woman (5'10") consider yourself really lucky she even corresponded with you. Women that height wouldn't even give ME @5'8...the time of day. LOL

 

Face to face meetings with friends is your option, because they can get to know you personally.

 

BUT...I can understand a real tall woman (5'10" and taller) wouldn't date a man my height I suppose.

 

But what IRRITATES the crap out of me is the one's that are already a petite, small 5'4 (or less) that like to throw in their high Heels and INCLUDE THAT with their height....they actually give the excuse...."Well, I'm 5'9" WITH heels....so...sorry, I can't date ya"

 

You know a woman is very shallow if she counts her heels at PART of her height....very pathetic....using a fashion accessory to determine your dating qualifications.

[b52s]

LOL.. ironic.. I went up to a tall chick tonight and asked her how tall she was..

"Too tall for you" was the response.

I'm 5'11.. she was like 6'5 or something.. was funny

 

Man, what a.....well, I won't use the word. ....

 

 

At 6'5".....she's taller than Andre the Giant. LOL She's going to be one lonely woman.

 

That's what I always wondered, too.....a woman like her, who is freakishly tall (at 6'5") really has NO options. She's probably taller than most NBA Basketball players, ESP the WNBA. LOL

[ChelleBear]

I am 5"8 1/2'. Usually, I'm attracted to taller men, but I wouldn't say that I'm *not attracted to shorter men. Recently, I've reconnected with someone I knew in high school. Height was never an issue for me. He's unbelievably attractive to me, and i was more worried that he'd think I was too tall than I'd feel he was too short. In the end, he's all man in my mind, and that's all that matters. I have no idea where it's going, but there is hope for you with tall girls. You just have to find the right one.

[and.then.some]

I have noticed that, on average, shorter men are more attractive. If I'm not mistaken, men over 6'3" (or 6'4") only make up some 3% of the population. So, I wouldn't say that a man's height would make him less attractive by any means, but it might make me less interested.

 

Being that the cutie factor is higher among the shorter men, I have gone out on a couple of dates with men who were between 5'4" and 5'6". (I'm 5'8".) I didn't have very good experiences! One who was 5'6" I dated for quite awhile, and he had a bit of a napoleon complex that I simply could not work around. So, when to comes to shorter men and taller women, I think that has just as much to do with how secure the man happens to be as it does with the interest of the women.

 

When I was younger, I didn't care much about height, but I did begin to notice a pattern with the men who were shorter than me, or my height (with only one exception). Now that i'm older, I appreciate a nice large chest to lay my head on. And, being 5'8" and of medium build, the bigger man has more to snuggle with. Honestly, that's my only reason for going back to an old preference.

[D-Lish]

I have no issues dating a shorter guy.

I'd say 5'10" is ideal because I am almost 5'8"- but a shorter guy with all the right features and personality is just as attractive to me.

[OpenGL]

Funny how this thread keeps getting bumped every couple of weeks.

[cognac]

I have noticed that, on average, shorter men are more attractive. If I'm not mistaken, men over 6'3" (or 6'4") only make up some 3% of the population. So, I wouldn't say that a man's height would make him less attractive by any means, but it might make me less interested.[/Quote]

 

This makes no sense.

 

It's a pretty universal that tall guys are considered more attractive by women. While generally shorter guys are better proportioned and sometimes have more handsome faces, for a reason unknown women still will pick the tall guy 9 out of 10 times.

 

Being that the cutie factor is higher among the shorter men, I have gone out on a couple of dates with men who were between 5'4" and 5'6". (I'm 5'8".) I didn't have very good experiences! One who was 5'6" I dated for quite awhile, and he had a bit of a napoleon complex that I simply could not work around. So, when to comes to shorter men and taller women, I think that has just as much to do with how secure the man happens to be as it does with the interest of the women.[/Quote]

 

This is really not fair . First of all what you call "napoleon complex" is probably just these guys acting as manly or macho as the tall guys, only in your woman mind it can't add up because women have this ridiculous belief that only tall guys can be macho and shorter guys should be docile little servants who need to walk on eggshells.

 

Plenty of tall guys act like jerkoffs, in fact, it's probably more common among them.

 

Imagine if you said the same about any other group of people.

 

When I was younger, I didn't care much about height, but I did begin to notice a pattern with the men who were shorter than me, or my height (with only one exception). Now that i'm older, I appreciate a nice large chest to lay my head on. And, being 5'8" and of medium build, the bigger man has more to snuggle with. Honestly, that's my only reason for going back to an old preference.

 

And finally, the truth comes out.

 

You attack the short guys so you don't feel bad about being shallow. You defame our names, tell your girlfriends who may be considering giving a shorter than average guy a shot lies, and all because you want to be dominated by a tall guy with a big chest.

 

If you only like that, fine, but why do you have to literally stereotype billions of people (I'm sure you consider everyone under 5'11 short) simply because you like tall guys more? No matter how many times you tell yourself no ,you are still discounting tons of amazing guys because they are your height or a little shorter, just accept it and move on with your life without insulting us in the process.

[burning 4 revenge]

The six foot thing was a preference from the Anglo Saxon culture, but somehow girls of all ethnicities adopted it once they became thoroughly Americanized