Recv'd the following text from OM... read on LS friends!

[GorillaTheater]

I've asked my Mom to accompany me.

 

I'd be soooo tempted to get a twenty-something hottie to go with me. Maybe hire a bombshell stripper.

[ecm]

You should have your hottest lady friend go with you instead of you mom. Or, is it too late to "hire" someone? (Not that I'm one for making a cheating ex jealous or anything....)

[FeelingLonely98]

you can click on my name, and "view public profile". i have a few pictures up, but only my contacts can see them.

 

Ok- I added you too. Cool.

 

Is it for sure that only contacts can see pics?

Maybe I'll put my pic up ...

[GorillaTheater]

You should have your hottest lady friend go with you instead of you mom. Or, is it too late to "hire" someone? (Not that I'm one for making a cheating ex jealous or anything....)

 

Ha! Great minds. Or evil minds. One of the two.

[Auroracoladybug]

FL 98...your question is answered simply...No...I just told J on Saturday that he was never taught unconditional love (the kind that hangs in there when things are bad)...I unconditionally love him and still want to grow old with him and hoping to reconcile with a new relationship and even marriage but I filed for divorce because J needed to be more mature and responsible and our son did not deserve this... I don't want this divorce but J can't just do as he pleases and leave me and the baby for whenever he wants us.

[MrMayI]

Ok- I added you too. Cool.

 

Is it for sure that only contacts can see pics?

Maybe I'll put my pic up ...

 

you have to go in the settings and make it private, but yeah, it works.

[FeelingLonely98]

You should have your hottest lady friend go with you instead of you mom. Or, is it too late to "hire" someone? (Not that I'm one for making a cheating ex jealous or anything....)

 

Guys - Mom accompanying me is to protect teh 18 yr old. I don't think I would wail on his *ss if she was there. Hopefully this is the last time I ever see STBXW. UGH - 'til the court date.

[FeelingLonely98]

leaving now - will update later - having dinner with Mom.

 

PEACE!

[Lishy]

May, I thought you was going to be some huge hairy biker dude, you dont look scary at all

 

Love the tats!!!

[MrMayI]

May, I thought you was going to be some huge hairy biker dude, you dont look scary at all

 

Love the tats!!!

 

that's why i was joking. aside from my tattoos, i am nowhere near scary in appearance. i'm in damn good shape though, and have been in tons of fights. not proud of that, but OM knows it, and apparently hasn't been in many or any. i'd be afraid to fight him simply because i'd beat him so badly it's not even funny.

[JaneDoe35]

Hi Mr, are you able to add me to your contacts. It is nice to put a face to the story. Only if you want to of course!!!

[MrMayI]

Hi Mr, are you able to add me to your contacts. It is nice to put a face to the story. Only if you want to of course!!!

 

no problem.

[Lishy]

I have put my pic up for a few minutes ... do I look scary? lol

[JaneDoe35]

Thanks, I have also added you to my contacts...

 

FL - good luck tomorrow or is that today over there...

 

It really feels like I am making friends here and I love it cause we all understand each other...

 

I wonder how I would be if I hadn't come across Love Shack?

[Aksion]

I really hope you do well with this one FL. I'm actually bringing a few friends with me just incase she shows up earlier than the time I give her. I don't know what I'd do if I saw her face to face.

 

On a side note -- how do you add 'pictures/contacts' to your profile?

[LisaUk]

65TR6 --> Long story VERY short. Good H, Good M, 47 yr old Wife in classic MLC. Gives me the ILYBINILWY speech 60 days ago / had started an EA with an 18 yr old boy. (YES, 18!!) Left the house 18 days later to start dating the boy. Been with him ever since. Never gave 1 second of effort to try to repair the M. Typical revisionist history applied - didn't love me for years, not happy for years, ETC. She sure seemd very happy 'til just recently - last 2-3 weeks. She moved her stuff out of the house a week ago. Wants no alimony, no asset division, nothing but "freedom". Saving money for an apt. for her and the BF. Notarizing the D papers tonight. I still love her but I am resigned that she is NEVER coming back and I am planning for life without her. Hope to one day feel nothing for her.

 

PEACE!

 

WOW, this is one of the most horrible ways in which a wife has left that I have heard here on LS, an 18 year old!????????????? Is your wife INSANE?

Take comfort in the fact, this won't last, really it won't, I just hope that by the time he leaves her and she comes crawling back, you will have seen the light regarding this women and moved on to better things. No one deserves what she has done to you, no one.

[seibert253]

Feeling, it's going to feel oh so great when she finally comes crawling back, begging you to take her back. "I made the biggest mistake of my life, yada yada".

 

Two word answer to her, Get Bent!

 

Peace,

[FeelingLonely98]

that's why i was joking. aside from my tattoos, i am nowhere near scary in appearance. i'm in damn good shape though, and have been in tons of fights. not proud of that, but OM knows it, and apparently hasn't been in many or any. i'd be afraid to fight him simply because i'd beat him so badly it's not even funny.

 

MMI - That is what I am afraid of. Though he's 18 and I'm in my 40s I would probably relentlessly beat his *ss so bad that I would be in some serious trouble. Funny thing is I'm very passive and haven't been in a fight since high school. I'm 6'2" and 200 and always been in good shape so I think most don't want a piece of me. I guess if I was a more brazen individual I would have bneen in my share of 'em. I've always told my W that if I was threatened I could see myself not stopping on the other guy even after I had long "won" the fight.

[FeelingLonely98]

May, I thought you was going to be some huge hairy biker dude, you dont look scary at all

 

Love the tats!!!

 

 

I added u as a contact but don't see your pic?

[FeelingLonely98]

I really hope you do well with this one FL. I'm actually bringing a few friends with me just incase she shows up earlier than the time I give her. I don't know what I'd do if I saw her face to face.

 

On a side note -- how do you add 'pictures/contacts' to your profile?

 

Not sure how to add pics yet. for adding contacts you click the name of the user and then click "add as contact". I guess they need to add you too? (Is this a new feature?)

[FeelingLonely98]

OK – Here is how it went down. No real drama –Thank God! Got to the notary. Several folks in line. While waiting outside with her for it to die down – I did something I should not have. I asked her how come if she claims now she was unhappy for years and “not in love” then why did she act happy and content and in love? She said the signs were everywhere. She said I am and was in denial. Hmm, I told her call it what you want – the bottom line is I was blindsided because I had NO F*cking IDEA that this was coming. (denial, she really was happy ‘til the end, … whatever - same end result - me being floored by this.) She seemed baffled hearing this from me like it should have been sooo obvious to me that the ILYBINILWY speech was imminent. (Weird)

She said the whole text thing from the OM was no big deal but she talked to him and it won’t happen again. I talked her that she can not just make it “no big deal” because she says it is so. I told her that folks I shared it with said it was extremely disrespectful for the OM to tell the H how to act towards his W when the OM is f*cking the W and basically assisted in breaking up a good M by moving in on a vulnerable woman in the throes of MLC. Further, the H has acted with absolute dignity and kindness throughout all of this. I told her that I better not ever be contacted by him again. And that she needs to tell him that if he ever sees me in the street it would be advisable for him to run the other way and to NOT take the chance of an encounter with me. It would be very ugly for him. Even after I lose every ounce for the STBXW I think I would destroy him. So, we finally went in and got the six notary stamps and I paid and we left. I walked her to the car and was about to just say goodbye when I said to her that I wish she would have once really talked to me about her feelings before it got this far where it is too late now. I assured her that whether she wanted to call it “denial” or whatever, I had no clue in the world that this was coming but the I thought if I had known we could have worked thru it. I got a little emotional with my voice cracking but held myself together for the most part. I then walked away. Guess I didn’t do so good – would have been better to just walk in like it was all business and at the end just say bye. I don’t regret anything about the night though. Then I went to dinner with my awesome Mom.

BTW, her son told me that she told him that she told the 18 yo BF to never contact me again. If he does contact me again, the STBXW told her son (my step-son) that she would end the relationship with him. What do you make of this? If she told her son the truth?

 

OK all – I’m beat – I’ll read your thoughts and comments tomorrow. Thanks for helping me thru this. One of the worst days since the beginning.

[FeelingLonely98]

WOW, this is one of the most horrible ways in which a wife has left that I have heard here on LS, an 18 year old!????????????? Is your wife INSANE?

 

I can't seem to find a "better" (i.e., sadder, more pathetic) story on LS. I am not sure if she is insane but something is definitely wrong with her. She is not the woman I married or even the woman I was married to earlier this year. AND, I have a been a very good H throughout the M - I had a few flaws, but they seem less than most other issues described on LS that had split up marriages.

 

Take comfort in the fact, this won't last, really it won't, I just hope that by the time he leaves her and she comes crawling back, you will have seen the light regarding this women and moved on to better things.

 

I hope to have a stunning beautiful, smart, funny, devoted partner that I can love and be loved by. Hmm, Now where do I find her?

 

No one deserves what she has done to you, no one.

 

It has been (still is?) VERY devastating. I don't wish it upon anyone.

PLEASE everyone, TALK, TALK, and the TALK some more whenever something doesn't feel right in your relationship. I think most unnecessary breakups could be avoided if folks just knew how each other felt. I certainly had NO idea but would have dome anything to save my M back then.

 

PEACE and LOVE to all!

[FeelingLonely98]

Feeling, it's going to feel oh so great when she finally comes crawling back, begging you to take her back. "I made the biggest mistake of my life, yada yada".

Two word answer to her, Get Bent!

 

Peace,

 

Thanks seibert - I am not sure she will come crawling back - is that a common occurrence?

 

Um, I'm no prude but was do the phrase "get bent" mean? Alomg the lines of F-U!!

 

Not sure I will (can?) do that. I would probably just tell her that it is too late and I don't know how I would ever trust her anyways. I always thought she was the love of my life, the most beautful gal in the world, the perfect W, ... ETC. Even with all her baggage - I never cared - I loved her unconditionally.

 

But I don't feel any of that anymore - only on day 60 too.

 

UGH - I feel sick to my stomach tonight. As happy as I am to get D papers notarized (and know that I am very likely to come out smelling like a rose) - it is extremely sad. It didn't have to be.

 

Oh well - c'est la vie, right?

[Trimmer]

I got a little emotional with my voice cracking but held myself together for the most part. I then walked away. Guess I didn’t do so good – would have been better to just walk in like it was all business and at the end just say bye. I don’t regret anything about the night though. Then I went to dinner with my awesome Mom.

Hey, man... I think you did just fine. The biggest thing I was worried about was that you would force something out just because you thought something needed to be said, and it would be awkward and stiff. But you spoke from the heart; it sounds like it was absolutely genuine, without being hostile. Absolutely nothing wrong with showing a little emotion - it sounds like you came off very real and very human, and I admire you for being able to stand your ground, say your piece, and show a little emotion, without completely losing control, either in anger or anything else. Nice job. Bottom line: it sounds like you were true to yourself, and you can damn well walk with your head held high tomorrow. Don't be thinking for a minute that you "didn't do so well." You nailed it, bud, and I admire you for it.

 

BTW, her son told me that she told him that she told the 18 yo BF to never contact me again. If he does contact me again, the STBXW told her son (my step-son) that she would end the relationship with him. What do you make of this? If she told her son the truth?

Aw, who knows? I know you are still trying to figure it all out and make sense of it - believe me, I get that, from personal experience - but you'll just make yourself crazy trying to apply sense and logic to her actions, so don't toss and turn too much about it. Assume that she did what she should have done, and smacked her little puppy on the snout for peeing on the carpet, and just move on...

 

(PS: I don't advocate smacking real, cute puppies on the snout; I just couldn't resist the metaphor...)

 

Incidentally, the reason she is so adamant about the assertion that "the signs were everywhere" or whatever is that she has to see the story this way in order not to make it all her fault. By recasting the story in this fashion, she was the victim of the circumstances, and her subsequent actions are all justified in her twisted telling of the story. If she admitted to herself that she didn't do the stand-up thing in the marriage and speak openly and honestly with you before she left, she would look and feel like the real person she is at the moment, and it would be devastating to her to see that person clearly.

 

So, not to say that there weren't any problems, or that there weren't things that you guys could have worked on together (again, I'm empathizing based on my own very similar experience) but her strong assertions that it's all on you are certainly a defense mechanism to protect her from the nasty truth of what she's done. If she really examines this whole thing (and herself) eventually, in an honest way, maybe she'll eventually recognize that, but not with the story that she has woven right now...

[2.50 a gallon]

FL98

 

Talk, Talk, Talk and Listen, Listen, Listen. Good points! But, I suspect she was lying when she said the signs everywhere, she was trying to justify her immoral actions. A simple "I'm not happy" postum note on the bathroom mirror could have gotten the dialog started.

 

Thank your lucky stars you got out with as little financial lose as you did.

 

So where are all the beautiful women? They are everywhere, the bakery, the grocery store, shopping, church groups, salsa dance classes, and yes the clubs. Your problem is you have been out of circulation and will have to redevelop your flirting skills. Women are just like men, they want to have fun. They also like fine dining, learn to cook some fancy dishes, learn about good cheeses.

 

Your stomach is upset. Sorry but the roller coaster ride is not over. Logic tells you, "you came off smelling like a rose", but try telling that to your emotional side. One day at a time