Untouchable_Fire Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Agreed. I think a comment that snarky needs to be taken off the thread. It added no value. Well, my parrot friend, maybe you are proving the point of why WS don't post here (or just about any place). If you are posting on threads overrun by BS and OP then you will probably most often be standing alone on the other side of any debate. You are the person most often to be disagreed with. That your opinions, suggestions and experiences are perceived as "incorrect" to the BS/OP POV does not make them so. The only "correct" post an WS can acceptedly make in the LS community is an abjectedly remorseful and prostrate one. Look at the section in bold by the very OP! Snarky... yes. Unwarranted... no. She stated flatly that her comments are often "beaten down", and mine are as well. The difference is that I admit when I'm wrong. Just yesterday she tried to tell a poster that actively pursuing an affair has no more effect than an erotic dream. There is something very wrong with that thought process, and while it's definitely her right to share it. We have a duty to let people know she is off her rocker. And... that has nothing to do with BS or WS or whatever. I was a WS once too. Link to post Share on other sites
schewter Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 <<There are lots of people posting here that aren't BS/WS. There are lots of trolls on the internet, in general, who get a kick out of lying to strangers to see what their reactions may be. You can almost tell who those posters are right away.>> Right NID...I know what a troll is and I am not talking about them. They are easy to spot by their sheer sensationalism. I am talking about those who are obviously struggling with something and come looking for somewhere to put it all down on paper and hopefully find some guidance or at least understanding. Often times what they come up against instead is negativity and skepticism because some on here think everybody else's story has to be as bad as theirs or they just don't want to believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 <<There are lots of people posting here that aren't BS/WS. There are lots of trolls on the internet, in general, who get a kick out of lying to strangers to see what their reactions may be. You can almost tell who those posters are right away.>> Right NID...I know what a troll is and I am not talking about them. They are easy to spot by their sheer sensationalism. I am talking about those who are obviously struggling with something and come looking for somewhere to put it all down on paper and hopefully find some guidance or at least understanding. Often times what they come up against instead is negativity and skepticism because some on here think everybody else's story has to be as bad as theirs or they just don't want to believe it. I get it, that's why I put the first sentence that you posted. Not everyone posting in this forum is a BS or WS. A lot of times that skepticism that you write about comes from the OPs that refuse to accept that their MP might go back to the marriage and wish they never met them. I can understand their feelings but they can get insistent that the only truth is theirs about EA vs PA, and so on. I remember when I first came here and posted that my marriage was on the mend, I was told that I was in denial, that I couldn't be happy with him ever again after what he did to me, and so on. None of it was designed to help me in my reconciliation. It was intended to make me doubt my M and my H. It happens to WS, BS, OP , everyone in these infidelity related forums. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 And after making them feel the worst of worst adding more insult to what they are feeling in that moment, they have to actually go elsewhere to find the answer to it or figure it on their own, soo much for the bitter one's flamings........ And as for BS who have decided to work it out and want to find out what are the steps to it, telling them ''Break up, it'll never work out, throw him/her to the curb'' is pointless since they are telling you from the start of their thread how they want to stay with the WS... Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 One thread I'll never forget is where the lady got extremely drunk at the bar and ended up involved in a threesome with a guy and another girl...the going over she got on here was ridiculous. People accused her of lying, etc. which I think is ridiculous...why would anyone lie on an anonymous message board to a bunch of people they don't and never will know?Guess in that case it depends how the story was told. That's kinda hard to believe which is why seems to have been troll-like. If it was true then my guess is she never came back again.... Link to post Share on other sites
schewter Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 The thread is still on here somewhere Sam and it appeared absolutely genuine...to some of us taking the woman's story at face value it looked more like she had been taken advantage of...she was truly devastated over what had transpired and was struggling with whether she should tell her husband and if so how to go about doing it. She got quite a going over from the "black & white, all-or-nothing" crowd...I don't know how it all turned out for her. Actually Sam...here is a link to the thread: "I am sick about this" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t191275/ Link to post Share on other sites
schewter Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 PS...just saw how the thread ended, moderator shut it down due to all the off topic bickering that was going on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 PS...just saw how the thread ended, moderator shut it down due to all the off topic bickering that was going on.Yea, I notice it started to look more like a court case trial. I didn't see much bashing on her except for the Dexter person who is clearly very bitter with his sad experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Hey, cake-eater! LOL Crazy yet? Brat! Where is the cake eating smiley when I need it! Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Yea, I notice it started to look more like a court case trial. I didn't see much bashing on her except for the Dexter person who is clearly very bitter with his sad experience. oh no, you called me "bitter" *sniff*...how will I ever go on:rolleyes: nice try Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 And as for BS who have decided to work it out and want to find out what are the steps to it, telling them ''Break up, it'll never work out, throw him/her to the curb'' is pointless since they are telling you from the start of their thread how they want to stay with the WS... I will say what I like and will state my opinion. I have been in their shoes and learned things the hard way. If they want to stay, hey, its their decision and their life. Doesn't mean I won't give them the alternative. And too many times I have read spouses a few years back saying they made the decision to stay, and then come back here with the old, "it happened again" story. Link to post Share on other sites
Guitarjeff Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 The problem is there are two circumstances and they have different proper responses. When the cheating spouse is here looking for answers to how they make this terrible mistake up to their betrayed loved one, then the people here should try to help them save their marriage if that's what they truly want. But when they come here trying to say they had good reason to cheat and they are here looking for people to substantiate their poor behavior, that's the people I have a problem with. The point is, there is NEVER a reason, EVER EVER EVER, for a spouse to bring a third party in to the privacy of their marriage and to break their marriage vows. Divorce is not illegal in this country and every spouse has the legal right to come forward before hand and be honest with their spouse and say they want to move on in their life without them. So are you asking the question about the remorseful people, or the pathetic cheaters who come here looking for people to tell them they had a legit reason to be a cheater? Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 The thread is still on here somewhere Sam and it appeared absolutely genuine...to some of us taking the woman's story at face value it looked more like she had been taken advantage of...she was truly devastated over what had transpired and was struggling with whether she should tell her husband and if so how to go about doing it. She got quite a going over from the "black & white, all-or-nothing" crowd...I don't know how it all turned out for her. Actually Sam...here is a link to the thread: "I am sick about this" http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t191275/ not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 oh no, you called me "bitter" *sniff*...how will I ever go on:rolleyes: nice try :lmao:LOL:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
eeyore1981 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 And after making them feel the worst of worst adding more insult to what they are feeling in that moment, they have to actually go elsewhere to find the answer to it or figure it on their own, soo much for the bitter one's flamings........ And as for BS who have decided to work it out and want to find out what are the steps to it, telling them ''Break up, it'll never work out, throw him/her to the curb'' is pointless since they are telling you from the start of their thread how they want to stay with the WS... I can only speak for myself. When I came on here posting my story, I was asking for advice, and people's opinions. If I wanted everyone to agree with me, I would just talk to myself. I was cheated on, period. I am still hurting over it, period. I was not given a choice on the affair, no, those choices belonged to the b*stard I am married to, and the skank he cheated with. My H is not unique, neither is his whore, so of course when someone says they cheated, or are having an affair with a MP, I am going to relate. If they are hurting, I think, 'good deal', because I hope the two low-lifes in my situation are hurting, too. Why should I care, because they cared so much about my feelings when they were off destroying my marriage, just like their counter-parts who post in here cared so much about the one in the triangle who was kept in the dark, just like me? Why is it the one person who was hurt the most is the only person who is obligated to care, especially about people who have shown by their actions don't give a shyte about anyone but themselves? Sometimes someone posts who seems to get it. When I read something like that, I am sometimes moved to help. That's the best I can do, and if that's not good enough, too bad. I wouldn't even have ever heard of this board if my H could have kept it in his pants. Link to post Share on other sites
schewter Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking. not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking. <<not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking.>> Which proves absolutely nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
schewter Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking. not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking. <<not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking.>> Which proves absolutely nothing. Cut & npaste glitch... Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking. not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking. <<not to TJ, but she remembered that the guy wore a rubber. she was QUITE CERTAIN about that....but didn't remember anything else so as to blame her cheating on drinking.>> Which proves absolutely nothing. no, she said she couldn't remember anything and someone got on her for putting her H at risk for STD's....THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, thats the one and ONLY detail she remembered and was SURE she wasn't giving her H an STD. Either she was aware of what she was doing that night, or she wasn't. but hey, whether she is lying or not, she still did the deed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 So are you asking the question about the remorseful people, or the pathetic cheaters who come here looking for people to tell them they had a legit reason to be a cheater?I'm asking about the true remorseful ones who are not even trying to look for excuses, they repeat over and over who they are truly remorseful and wished they had never done it and looking for advice but no instead, it's blaming and sarcastic reprimands.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 30, 2009 Author Share Posted October 30, 2009 oh no, you called me "bitter" *sniff*...how will I ever go on:rolleyes: nice tryBut you are. You're always downplaying the cheater's statement. Even if one cheater were to state ''I'm regret the choice I made and will tell him/her anytime today and I know there is no excuse'' and later on proceed on how they still love their BS's spouses. You still would downplay the answer and say something like ''Well you wouldn't cheat if you state you love them'' and that cheating is not a mistake. The cheater in that case stated it as a terrible choice he/she made (and not a mistake like the other posts) and that they will tell the BS anyways. And you still beating them, what more do you want then?? Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 But you are. You're always downplaying the cheater's statement. Even if one cheater were to state ''I'm regret the choice I made and will tell him/her anytime today and I know there is no excuse'' and later on proceed on how they still love their BS's spouses. You still would downplay the answer and say something like ''Well you wouldn't cheat if you state you love them'' and that cheating is not a mistake. uh...ya....and?? The cheater in that case stated it as a terrible choice he/she made (and not a mistake like the other posts) and that they will tell the BS anyways. And you still beating them, what more do you want then?? nope, if they say they will tell, then that, in my opinion, is the right choice. and just which "cheater" and which post are you referring to? Link to post Share on other sites
schewter Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 <<no, she said she couldn't remember anything and someone got on her for putting her H at risk for STD's....THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, thats the one and ONLY detail she remembered and was SURE she wasn't giving her H an STD. Either she was aware of what she was doing that night, or she wasn't. but hey, whether she is lying or not, she still did the deed.>> In her initial thread she said she couldn't remember MUCH...she actually did give some details and the overall gist. This post was her jumping in point and I doubt STD's were even on her mind at that stage. This was her SECOND entry on the thread she started: <<Thank you all for your responses. I am still uncertain of what to do... HOwever as for everyone concerned with the STD, there was protection used. So that is ONE thing I know. I am praying and seeking advise from trusted friends and going to see a counsler next Monday.>> You portray it as if she was maintaining some "black-out" scenario and then the "all of a sudden" which is not at all accurate...and that is something people like you tend to do...misrepresent what people actually say to more or less fit things into your NARROW view. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted October 31, 2009 Author Share Posted October 31, 2009 (edited) and just which "cheater" and which post are you referring to?This was just an example I was stating. If it's a cheater that never once in the post stated it as ''a mistake'' but rather their terrible choice and told us from the start that they are will tell their BS about it. And Dexter... as for the WS never loving them I don't know about it. It might be love but in a different way? For example one can lie and steal money from their parents but that doesn't mean they don't got any feeling/emotions or a level of love for them. Only it's a different type one, not the one where you expect never to be replaced or lied to/cheated on... No one ever knows what the real definition of the word love really is. There are many ways into it, many meanings to different people. Doesn't mean your definition of what love is to you is the absolute truth and nothing but the truth... No definition is the real truth one in the whole universe, everything is relative... Edited October 31, 2009 by samsungxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 <<no, she said she couldn't remember anything and someone got on her for putting her H at risk for STD's....THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, thats the one and ONLY detail she remembered and was SURE she wasn't giving her H an STD. Either she was aware of what she was doing that night, or she wasn't. but hey, whether she is lying or not, she still did the deed.>> In her initial thread she said she couldn't remember MUCH...she actually did give some details and the overall gist. This post was her jumping in point and I doubt STD's were even on her mind at that stage. This was her SECOND entry on the thread she started: <<Thank you all for your responses. I am still uncertain of what to do... HOwever as for everyone concerned with the STD, there was protection used. So that is ONE thing I know. I am praying and seeking advise from trusted friends and going to see a counsler next Monday.>> You portray it as if she was maintaining some "black-out" scenario and then the "all of a sudden" which is not at all accurate...and that is something people like you tend to do...misrepresent what people actually say to more or less fit things into your NARROW view. She conveniently said she doesn't remember much so as to downplay the fact that she cheated. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 oh no, you called me "bitter" *sniff*...how will I ever go on:rolleyes: nice try LOL...indeed...bitterness fuels these bunch...we expect you to go on and on, Dexter. Link to post Share on other sites
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