Author samsungxoxo Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 People are attacking you because what you did was wrong, simple as that!If I know what I did was wrong and I even stated many times already how I regretted it but want to know what to do and yet I were to have people telling me how it was wrong again or flaming me, I would go nuts and start attacking them back as well. Then more than likely the original thread would now become ''A War Threat''... I'll treat you how you treat me.. Insult me and I'll insult you right back.... The point is if you know you got nothing helpful to say other than ''You're such a selfish person... You wouldn't have cheated if...'' blah, blah, blah then don't waste your typing time. For sure it takes a whole deal of time writing insults and flaming as much as it took time for the WS to write their stories. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 Why is only one side heard because a rational discussion on this topic is a waste of time. Truly bitter people and fWS that become zealots against cheating always want to drag the discussion into name calling and insults. So what is the point of getting into that?No point at all unless the infidelity section is divided into two subforums.. The BS's stories and the WS's ones.... Then again, still the same crap... though I would think that the bitter ones would not even bother going to that section and instead answer in the BS, what they can relate best to... Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 If I know what I did was wrong and I even stated many times already how I regretted it but want to know what to do and yet I were to have people telling me how it was wrong again or flaming me, I would go nuts and start attacking them back as well. Then more than likely the original thread would now become ''A War Threat''... I'll treat you how you treat me.. Insult me and I'll insult you right back.... The point is if you know you got nothing helpful to say other than ''You're such a selfish person... You wouldn't have cheated if...'' blah, blah, blah then don't waste your typing time. For sure it takes a whole deal of time writing insults and flaming as much as it took time for the WS to write their stories. All I can say is, if you worry about flaming or insults, it's probably a good idea not to post in an open/public forum. Everyone had their own ideas, opinions, emotions and feelings about certain subjects. Link to post Share on other sites
pkn06002 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 All I can say is, if you worry about flaming or insults, it's probably a good idea not to post in an open/public forum. Everyone had their own ideas, opinions, emotions and feelings about certain subjects. Yes the ever present excuse to be rude and nasty to someone you don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Another thread oozing with denial. The fact that the Cheaters (this OW/OM label is not reality) think this site is filled with bitter BS is sort of ironic and again give credence to their plight of deception. It's not about being bitter, it's about pointing out that CHEATING IS WRONG! I was an cheater and when the "wife" read me the riot act, I was not idiotic enough to think it was bitterness but a reality check! I HAD NO RIGHT TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE"S HUSBAND!!!! Period! LOL, exactly....its like stabbing someone with a knife, person stabbed sees the person that stuck them as a piece of sh#t.....and the stabber goes...."YOU ARE HATEFUL!!!!!"......uh.........ok:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Yes the ever present excuse to be rude and nasty to someone you don't know. yes, much better and acceptable to be rude and nasty to someone you DO know in real life.......like the wife:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 All I can say is, if you worry about flaming or insults, it's probably a good idea not to post in an open/public forum. Everyone had their own ideas, opinions, emotions and feelings about certain subjects.True but you don't have to bring your load of garbage or so called ''bad experience'' onto someone else you don't even know. That's called displacement anger, taking out on someone who has nothing to do with your issues but ok that's what I think.... That's probably a reason too there aren't that many WS's stories in comparing to BS's... It's one thing to not agree with something, it's another to pass insults.. I guess it's hard for many to separate the action that took place in the story with the person... Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 yes, much better and acceptable to be rude and nasty to someone you DO know in real life.......like the wife:rolleyes: That I do agree, the only person that should be passing all the insults and flaming is the BS directly towards either their WS's or the OW/OM. It makes sense. But online strangers passing insults on someone they never met in real life?? That's lame... Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 True but you don't have to bring your load of garbage or so called ''bad experience'' onto someone else you don't even know. That's called displacement anger, taking out on someone who has nothing to do with your issues but ok that's what I think.... That's probably a reason too there aren't that many WS's stories in comparing to BS's... It's one thing to not agree with something, it's another to pass insults.. I guess it's hard for many to separate the action that took place in the story with the person... Cheating and deception are emotionally heated topics, so there is boud to be insults, anger (displaced or otherwise) and resentment. You can't control what others say/do, all you can do is control you by either not posting, posting and accepting others emotions or just plain ignoring. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Yes the ever present excuse to be rude and nasty to someone you don't know. Like Deepak Chopra says "don't take everything so personal or as a personal attack, you're not that important" A msg board is not "real life" Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 you're not that important" " I think this is the part that might be upsetting some of the posters on this thread. They do think they are that important. They do feel it is their right to do things that they know will harm others as long as they themselves enjoy it. They feel that those who they harm should understand this and accept this. I think this is why they become upset when the people who were harmed here are angry and don't say "you were right to cheat. You did nothing wrong.". Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 That I do agree, the only person that should be passing all the insults and flaming is the BS directly towards either their WS's or the OW/OM. It makes sense. But online strangers passing insults on someone they never met in real life?? That's lame... That's the reality of the internet. Not saying it's right but it is the reality of most public forums. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I think this is the part that might be upsetting some of the posters on this thread. They do think they are that important. They do feel it is their right to do things that they know will harm others as long as they themselves enjoy it. They feel that those who they harm should understand this and accept this. I think this is why they become upset when the people who were harmed here are angry and don't say "you were right to cheat. You did nothing wrong.". When I was a cheater and the OW, my friends were too coward to tell me "how it was" and that I was acting like a douche. Then when I told my Mom, she was kind enough to "smack me" into reality. And I can tell you, I was NOT happy about being told I was bad/wrong and everything else that made me feel less than! I couldn't hear the truth, nor was I ready to face my reality that I was emotionally corrupt and well, basically, a scum bag. In my own time, at my own pace, I finally realized how I rotten my soul and my spirit by living with deception. No one was really able to tell me until I was ready to listen. These cheaters will heal at their own pace. For now, for whatever reason, cheaters need to be where they are to learn something. Link to post Share on other sites
pkn06002 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Like Deepak Chopra says "don't take everything so personal or as a personal attack, you're not that important" A msg board is not "real life" Oh very much agree But with some people they actually want to make everything personal, with someone they don't even know. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Oh very much agree But with some people they actually want to make everything personal, with someone they don't even know. No, again, that is not personal. Personal would be if they actually knew the person in real life. Attacking someone on a msg board or even in "real life" is about the person attacking and how they feel at that moment. Really, very very few things in life are personal Link to post Share on other sites
eeyore1981 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Yes the ever present excuse to be rude and nasty to someone you don't know. You know what, it is what it is. How rude and nasty is it to cheat on your SO? IMO, a whole lot more rude and nasty than flaming someone in an online forum. So many WS come in here playing victim. It's all 'Poor me, SO did this, that, and something else.' 'I didn't mean to cheat, it just happened.' 'No use crying over spilled milk.' 'What's done is done.' etc, etc, make me . Even when a WS posts how they are so sorry for what they did, most of the time there are still excuses made. I don't care if it is someone I know, or someone I don't know. I've been through the heartache of being cheated on, so I am going to empathize with the person who has been cheated on, and be disgusted with the cheater, regardless of which one is posting. Cheaters whining about how mistreated they are in these forums is just more of the same old tired, 'Poor me' attitude. IMO, if a cheater was truly remorseful, they would be willing to take their lumps, along with help being offered. The fact that for the most part they are not goes a long way towards explaining why they are cheaters in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 You know what, it is what it is. How rude and nasty is it to cheat on your SO? IMO, a whole lot more rude and nasty than flaming someone in an online forum. So many WS come in here playing victim. It's all 'Poor me, SO did this, that, and something else.' 'I didn't mean to cheat, it just happened.' 'No use crying over spilled milk.' 'What's done is done.' etc, etc, make me . Even when a WS posts how they are so sorry for what they did, most of the time there are still excuses made. I don't care if it is someone I know, or someone I don't know. I've been through the heartache of being cheated on, so I am going to empathize with the person who has been cheated on, and be disgusted with the cheater, regardless of which one is posting. Cheaters whining about how mistreated they are in these forums is just more of the same old tired, 'Poor me' attitude. IMO, if a cheater was truly remorseful, they would be willing to take their lumps, along with help being offered. The fact that for the most part they are not goes a long way towards explaining why they are cheaters in the first place. andddddddd this too :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 Come to think, cheating is nothing compare to many other worst things such as criminal activities, doing drugs, alcoholic addicts or hitting an spouse... Ok aside from the STD's saga, let's say (hypothetically speaking) there were no such things as diseases transmitted but only the emotional burden you place on the BS, that's nothing compare in the other things that happen in the world... Link to post Share on other sites
confusedinkansas Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I don't care if it is someone I know, or someone I don't know. I've been through the heartache of being cheated on, so I am going to empathize with the person who has been cheated on, and be disgusted with the cheater, regardless of which one is posting. I think that is hitting the nail on the head. A cheater will most often side with a cheater. A betrayed significant other - will often if not always side with a betrayed significant other. Because those of us in that situation COMPLETELY understand what the other person is going thru. A cheater who has never been cheated on, has no idea what a BS thinks deep down. And visa versa. Bottom line......that's why there is so much rudeness, flaming, bashing going on. And the fact that we are all completely anonymous to each other. Disclaimer: Not making excuses. Making observations. Come to think, cheating is nothing compare to many other worst things such as criminal activities VERY TRUE! Which is why I too think the comparison that someone made about being knocked "Accidently" into a bus - (eyes rolling) not a very good analagy. But I'm the WS....So I wouldn't understand. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
pkn06002 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 You know what, it is what it is. How rude and nasty is it to cheat on your SO? IMO, a whole lot more rude and nasty than flaming someone in an online forum. So many WS come in here playing victim. It's all 'Poor me, SO did this, that, and something else.' 'I didn't mean to cheat, it just happened.' 'No use crying over spilled milk.' 'What's done is done.' etc, etc, make me . Even when a WS posts how they are so sorry for what they did, most of the time there are still excuses made. I don't care if it is someone I know, or someone I don't know. I've been through the heartache of being cheated on, so I am going to empathize with the person who has been cheated on, and be disgusted with the cheater, regardless of which one is posting. Cheaters whining about how mistreated they are in these forums is just more of the same old tired, 'Poor me' attitude. IMO, if a cheater was truly remorseful, they would be willing to take their lumps, along with help being offered. The fact that for the most part they are not goes a long way towards explaining why they are cheaters in the first place. LOL oh I had a long response but it would only inflame. Well I guess the OP has the answer why you only get one side, because BS think theirs is the only one. BS justify belittling, insulting etc... anyone that does not follow their views as right because they have been hurt. As we all know the last offense is the one that counts. So why bother putting a different view in, it leads to nothing but flame wars and nastiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 VERY TRUE! Which is why I too think the comparison that someone made about being knocked "Accidently" into a bus - (eyes rolling) not a very good analagy. But I'm the WS....So I wouldn't understand. Right?True it doesn't make sense. The bumping into someone is an accident while the cheating is one choice you made. I think the poster intended to make it sounded up to what extent an BS is hurt by it.. One also another thing, well one always take a risk of getting hurt, lied to, cheated on when getting in a relationship with a stranger... It's worst if it was a family member betraying you but the fact that SO is a stranger you met, makes you think one should at least be prepare for the bad news... and how to deal with it... A stranger (SO) can hurt you and it's expectable while a family member is not expected.. Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Come to think, cheating is nothing compare to many other worst things such as criminal activities, doing drugs, alcoholic addicts or hitting an spouse... Ok aside from the STD's saga, let's say (hypothetically speaking) there were no such things as diseases transmitted but only the emotional burden you place on the BS, that's nothing compare in the other things that happen in the world... I think cheating is worse than hitting your spouse. If your SO is hitting you, there is no deception involved and you know all you need to know right away. So I disagree with you, but I would also like to see cheating to be considered a crime. It's not going to happen though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 So why bother putting a different view in, it leads to nothing but flame wars and nastiness.Exactly, go take your anger somewhere else. That's like throwing up on someone's car. Imagine how disgusting that would be. Puke somewhere else. Same thing with anger post ventings.... so express it elsewhere... Link to post Share on other sites
pkn06002 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I think cheating is worse than hitting your spouse. If your SO is hitting you, there is no deception involved and you know all you need to know right away. So I disagree with you, but I would also like to see cheating to be considered a crime. It's not going to happen though. Oh you have NO CLUE on what spousal abuse is like, there is no comparison between the two. Cheating as a crime, I laugh everytime I see that. Link to post Share on other sites
eeyore1981 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Because those of us in that situation COMPLETELY understand what the other person is going thru. A cheater who has never been cheated on, has no idea what a BS thinks deep down. And visa versa. And I am not really in agreement with this. It may come as a shock to most of the cheaters out there, but I have had many opportunities to cheat. Many, many, many opportunities. And I don't think I'm unique. So, here's what happens. I'm just being friends with some guy, and I realize he is hitting on me. Of course I am flattered, and it is a nice little ego boost, but, gee, I'm married. Even the times it has happened when my marriage was total crap, I was still able to acknowledge I had a H who did not deserve to go through hell just so I could have a good time. Sometimes guy was married, and I was able to choose to not feel good about myself at some other woman's expense, whether I knew her or not. These thoughts actually take less time than justifying why it would be okay, and how I wouldn't get caught, anyway. And guess what? I was able to think this way and act accordingly way before I got cheated on. Weird, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
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