Bongo84 Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Hey everyone, needed some opinions so I came here... I'm currently in a "LDR" with someone 200 miles away. But getting there was difficult. I'm gonna try to be as detailed as possible so bear with me . This is a LONG story but pretty detailed so I think you will enjoy it *Note- I'm a freshman in college, she's a senior in HS This girl and I had a thing with each other over the summer but it was short lived as she still wanted to be with someone else. I kinda just hung in there though hoping that she would eventually change her mind. Me and her really started getting close again about a week before I left for college. But, as soon as we were back together in a way she rarely wanted to see me and canceled our only date before I left . I ended up talking to her on the phone a lot when I was away and she ended up telling me that she just wanted to be friends again (mind you, this was my best friend prior to our relationship). I was devastated and the reason she gave me was the LDR thing in which she didn't really believe in.........so I came home.....to transfer and she still didn't even want to so I went back, 200 miles away again. Of course I was still fallen for her but was just so unhappy that I tried everything to make myself feel better...whether that be ignore messages, be short with her, or if I came home on a weekend and a bunch of friends, including her, came over to my house I would either totally ignore her or be mean. She ended up confronting me about it and we had coffee the next morning. I somewhat appologized and went off to school again.. Well, she wouldn't stop messaging me and calling me so I got friendly with her again, not thinking anything of it. After a few phone calls we both somehow broke down and first I told her that I still really wanted to be with her and everything and she said she wanted to too (that's why she was always messaging/calling me) but thought I hated her. So we set up a date for that saturday (the talk was on like a Tues) when I came home. So that weekend came.....drove 4 hours to go home....and when I get there she doesn't even call me. Saturday comes and I call her to see if we're still on (thinking 100% we are but just wanted to call for some reason)....she tells me she's doing some stupid Corn Maze activity and carving a pumpkin afterwards and probably can't. She asked if we could simply hang out during the day on sunday. The date I had set up only worked at night (Was going to the abandoned bridge and had a bed set up in the back of my car)(NOT looking for sex, I DON'T want to do that for awhile until we are both reallly ready so don't think that ) so I told her that I was busy the next day and couldn't. She kept pestering me to move it to tomorrow but at this point I thought I saw through her and just told her if she really wanted to see me I think she would skip out carving a pumpkin, ya know. She ended up telling me that afterwards she could. So I just agreed to pick her up at her friend's house....my friend too mind you. Well, I get there and she tells me to wait in the car. I want to see all my friends that I haven't got together with in weeks...so I walk in and say hey and everyone is really confused....she hadn't told them ANYTHING. She's kinda embarressed and we ended up leaving after a few minutes (I'll get back to this in a bit) So that night went very well. We relaxed, had a wonderfull time with each other, no problems at all for once. Very touchy and all that, followed with a very nice goodnight make out session Well, the next day comes and I want to be with her so I call her up. She says she has homework to do and can't...even tho I live 200 miles away and only get to see her on weekends if I come home. I just blow it off as usual and go on with my day. The following day I go into my old highschool to see my old friends and teachers that I was really close with. I ended up sitting by her at lunch and she TOTALLY ignores me in front of everyone. Even the one person who knows noticed it and was like "wow." Then I ask her if she wants to do something after school and she says she busy and then walks away a few moments later. I'm totally blown away by this and completely upset. I AM leaving tomorrow at this point and this was our last chance. We hadn't even talked about our relationship. So that night I was sick of it all. I got ready and started driving to her house. I call her to meet me somewhere or I'll pick her up at her house. She refuses and says she's busy but I made the point that I'm already on my way and that I'm going to be there regardless because we need to talk. She finally agrees and I pick her up. We go to this park by her house and start discussing some things. I told her that I'm sick of her games, changing her mind every weekend, and then not telling anyone about us. I asked her if she was embarressed (which she has NO right to be because I know ALL of her friends and they LOVE me....known fact not blowing smoke out of my ass lol). SHe tells me she doesn't know what they'd think and how it didn't work before. I tell her her that this is completely HER decision and nobody else's...to which she agreed to. SHe then tells me she canges her mind so much because when she thinks about it a million things could go wrong. I follow up by telling her that she needs to stop using her mind so much and let her heart dictate this one. And that a million things could go wrong, yes, but more could go right. I then ask her if she sees this relationship as just a fun thing to do and if she really does care about me. She told me she does, a lot, but is worried about everything. We talk things over some more and eventually she realizes what's up and I drop her off at her house again. I called her the next day and she tells me she told people, including her mom, which I get to "formally" meet (I've seen her a bunch and she knows who I am but we never met as her daughter's BF). So things seem to be going good now....but i'm still not so sure on some things. I'm not sure if she really wants to be in this relationship because she kept telling me to enjoy college and I KNOW nobody who cares that much about someone would tell their significant other to forget about them in order to "live out the college years". I just want some input on the whole situation as I really do feel as if I love this girl (Remember, she was my best friend for long time before we finally tried something). Thanks everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Thebob Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 She seems confused, and is doing things differently than what she is telling you. I would go NC until she shows you that she wants to be with you. That is my personal opinion take it or leave it. Thebob Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bongo84 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 She seems confused, and is doing things differently than what she is telling you. I would go NC until she shows you that she wants to be with you. That is my personal opinion take it or leave it. Thebob NC=No contact, correct? And thanks. I originally tried this during our first split when I arrived at college and she started to get pissed that I wasn't talking to her Might have to try it again Link to post Share on other sites
Thebob Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Yep Nc= No contact, until she can prove that she wants to be with you, even if she contacts you don't respond. Once she comes knocking on your doorstep or is getting absolutely annoying then you contact back. For the meantime stay NC and make sure she wants you for you. Thebob Link to post Share on other sites
SuburbanOblivion Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 She blows you off for dates, is 'busy' all the time, doesn't talk to you when you are together, wants you to date others...She couldn't make it more clear that she's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
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