Flavour Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 ....the bag is not ready yet, I will have to change three different flights, so worried, worried for the flights, for what I will discover of him, for what he will think of me , am I changed? Have I put on weight? Am I too different from last summer? And him? His beautiful eyes? What will he do when he see me? What will he think? OMG....please keep your fingers crossed for me, please.....I will update you way too soon....I am staying just for three days. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I am having a panick attack! These LDR are so complicated, and packed with drama! OMG! I will go and have a camomile....maybe three will be better:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Lovin a scrapper Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 First.......Breathe. Second......Breathe some more. Third........Everything will be fine. Just simply enjoy your time together without worrying about all of those questions. Fourth......Have fun and let us know how everything goes!!!!! Well, almost everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Miad's Princess Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Awwwww hun, what a mixed bag of emotions, I am sure when you meet it will feel like you have never been away. It's such an exciting feeling knowing you will see them within hours. Good luck and update us soon. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Flavour, How did your visit go? Could you at least check in and let us know you are okay? Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Mei Mei Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 ....the bag is not ready yet, I will have to change three different flights, so worried, worried for the flights, for what I will discover of him, for what he will think of me , am I changed? Have I put on weight? Am I too different from last summer? And him? His beautiful eyes? What will he do when he see me? What will he think? OMG....please keep your fingers crossed for me, please.....I will update you way too soon....I am staying just for three days. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I am having a panick attack! These LDR are so complicated, and packed with drama! OMG! I will go and have a camomile....maybe three will be better:bunny: Dear Flavour, Oh i have same feeling as you do, my SO is travelling to me and will reach tomorrow. I feel myself nervous a bit for having some more fat and is getting older too.... Oh there are some acnes and more winkles too due to the poor sleep. But i console myself that my SO will not see superficial things only. We have some foundations after the months of deeper relationship. I keep my fingers crossed for you and please relax.... Everything will be astonishing for you !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 (edited) Flavour, How did your visit go? Could you at least check in and let us know you are okay? Best, TMichaels OMG but you are so kind...thank you for your interest. Yes I am okay. I have discovered that I can jump like a kangaroo from a terminal to another in no time. I have seen 8 airports and I have survived to this historical act of love. Because it was. And after three flights, two of them heavily delayed, I arrived in the airport of Oakland. So worried. I went out and......of course he was not there. He arrived clamly ten minutes after, and when he saw me he did not hug me, we were both so tense. He called his sister to tell her where we were. She had come with him ( why? scared to be alone? I thought) then we arrived at his home. They live in three different little houses near to one another, he, his parents and his sister. It was 10.30 p.m. and only his father was awake. I must say that his family was warm and welcoming and also him. I felt ankward and embarassed but I could feel their warmth. I do not play bridge and I do not understand one thing of baseball, they were seeing the Phillies against the yankees or something, and I did not have a clue but pretended to follow with interest :-))) I felt intimidated by the country. So big, and California was so different from what I expected. Actually i was intimidated by everything. We went hiking together and we went out together, I had a lovely time and he actually proposed. I was almost in tears. He had brought me to eat a pizza ( oh you are Italian you must have a pizza- I dreaded that pizza and I was right but appreciated the kindness) he brought me to this pizzeria the owner was a such "Zachary" but he was chinese and I found it so funny that a Chinese named Zachary was doing my pizza. Then I had this.....pizza, OMG a platform of crushed hard breadcrumbs with a tall and rubber like layer of something covered by tons of a strange cheese ( not mozzarella I swear) and ONIONS ( this is blasphemy) and he asked me "do you like it? I think that in Italy pizza must be different, and I answered oh yes I like it, and yes is just a LITTLE BIT different...and then he proposed and was so nice and humorous and perfect that I was covering that pizza with my tears...but I managed of not doing it. He told me that his mother has warned him "check that she is not like * ( his previous wife) a digger" oh what a nice mother in law, I guess they are the same at all latitudes, and by the way I was so offended by that but I said nothing. Their house was nice and they had the swimming pool and everything but I tried in the first moment to tell to him that my life was very simple and I am a single mother and when he comes to my house I cannot tell him "oh, you see, this is the apartment of my waitress". He told me to shut up and not saying stupid things. But I suppose this can be an issue. On top of all the others. The travel has been beautiful but we remained that he should have come to my house for my Christmas break, but yesterday it seemed that he could not come "for financial reasons". I told him I will help you, no problem. Oh no, I do not want to take advantage, he answered. There has been a sort of argument, it was like a sort of "the lord and the waitress" dialogue. He told me "it is not that difficult, you know. I cannot do it now, I will do it as soon as possible. Don't be so childish, I am working towards a solution where we have no more to go back and forth but we remain together and if for this I must renounce to something then I do it." But our relationship and cultivating it is important......any way it finished that we apologized and that maybe he will come after all. I am happy but perplexed under many different points of view. A digger......it hurts. I love him and I want to trust him no matter what. And I am not a digger by the way, and I will demonstrate it in some way. PS US are SO astonishing! Edited November 13, 2009 by Flavour Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 Sorry for being a little confused, I have too much to say I guess... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 Dear Flavour, Oh i have same feeling as you do, my SO is travelling to me and will reach tomorrow. I feel myself nervous a bit for having some more fat and is getting older too.... Oh there are some acnes and more winkles too due to the poor sleep. But i console myself that my SO will not see superficial things only. We have some foundations after the months of deeper relationship. I keep my fingers crossed for you and please relax.... Everything will be astonishing for you !! And I keep mine crossed for you! I bet that everything will be fine! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 First.......Breathe. Second......Breathe some more. Third........Everything will be fine. Just simply enjoy your time together without worrying about all of those questions. Fourth......Have fun and let us know how everything goes!!!!! Well, almost everything. Thank you dear, I breathed as you recommended especially when I was running like crazy from a terminal to another in unknown airports with only some minutes left before the plane left. :-) But everything was fine as you predicted, and thank you for your response.....you have been so kind. (((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 Flavour, So glad you returned home safe and sound and that you had a nice visit with your friend. I don't blame you for being hurt about his mother making the comment that she hoped you weren't a (gold) digger like your friend's first wife. However, "blood is always thicker than water" and it's natural to some degree that a mother would be concerned about her children's welfare -- however, if I recall correctly, your "friend" isn't exactly a child -- he's 60+ years old, isn't he? You said he proposed to you, but you didn't say what your answer was. (?) Though you had a nice visit and he is clearly "smitten" with you, I hope you will take your time in deciding what to do about this relationship. Though you have been in each other's company a few times now, you still don't really know this person, what life with him is like, and how much of an influence his family has on his life and his everyday existence. No matter how much you wish he could come visit you, I *would not* continue to offer to pay his way or "help him out" financially. He needs to do his part -- it should not be all up to you -- and he needs to know what life is like for you in your environment so he understands you more completely. No matter how difficult it is, I would refrain for offering to pay for any more trips -- yours or his. Let him prove to you that he is willing to do what it takes to keep you interested and that includes having to make some sacrifices due to the distance. Regardless, glad to hear you managed to navigate all the plane, airports and "trip nerves" just fine. It had to be daunting, but you survived! Take pride in the fact that your accomplished that all on your own and did a wonderful job! Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted November 14, 2009 Author Share Posted November 14, 2009 Flavour, So glad you returned home safe and sound and that you had a nice visit with your friend. I don't blame you for being hurt about his mother making the comment that she hoped you weren't a (gold) digger like your friend's first wife. However, "blood is always thicker than water" and it's natural to some degree that a mother would be concerned about her children's welfare -- however, if I recall correctly, your "friend" isn't exactly a child -- he's 60+ years old, isn't he? You said he proposed to you, but you didn't say what your answer was. (?) My answer was yes, I love him dearly...... Though you had a nice visit and he is clearly "smitten" with you, I hope you will take your time in deciding what to do about this relationship. Though you have been in each other's company a few times now, you still don't really know this person, what life with him is like, and how much of an influence his family has on his life and his everyday existence. No matter how much you wish he could come visit you, I *would not* continue to offer to pay his way or "help him out" financially. He needs to do his part -- it should not be all up to you -- and he needs to know what life is like for you in your environment so he understands you more completely. No matter how difficult it is, I would refrain for offering to pay for any more trips -- yours or his. Let him prove to you that he is willing to do what it takes to keep you interested and that includes having to make some sacrifices due to the distance. Regardless, glad to hear you managed to navigate all the plane, airports and "trip nerves" just fine. It had to be daunting, but you survived! Take pride in the fact that your accomplished that all on your own and did a wonderful job! Best, TMichaels How come that you are able to make me reason in such a nice way? :-) Oh I know you are perfectly right. I know it. But I am confused. He wants to marry me but he does not want to come and see me. Strange.And his family....oh I am Italian and I am fairly used to "mammoni" ( mummy' men) but you are right, what are the real dynamics of this family? Yes he is 60, not exactly a child, neither am I , even if I guess I sound childish but you know.....maybe I have middle age crisis or I am just madly in love and my rational resources have been wiped away. There are also other things. For example his daughter is particularly upset with me, because it seems he has never introduced a new woman since he got divorced ( 10 years ago). He had a couple of stories but his children never see those women. His sister told me : when he is in love he is in love, and he is a one woman man. I believed her. But also her she is a peculiar ( very intersting) sort of person. She is a writer and an illustrator, she is so beautiful you cannot imagine, but she has never married and lives near her parents......actually this is strange. There are so many other things. For example, you know, I am a teacher. I love my job and actually Italian schools are not that bad, believe me. He is always talking about his youngest child, but from what he is describing me........this boy when he got divorced apparently went on without speaking for two years. Now he is a champ in football at school and also in maths, but in a peculiar way. It seems he is able to memorize a whole bunch of cards and put them exactly in the same order. And he does not speak so much. When I hear these things, something in my "teacher" minds lights up, actually this has a name.....but how can I tell this to him? How come that his teachers were not able to detect it? OMG. But I want to trust God and trust life and trust my heart. I have been suspicious and bitter for a whole life.....but you are right. I will not do everything. I will see and wait. Thank you. I call this friendship. If you come in Italy, you are booked for a coffee :-) ( NOT a Starbuck one ;-)) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flavour Posted November 14, 2009 Author Share Posted November 14, 2009 TM: you are calling him "friend" and no doubt you are doing it on purpose. I will meditate on it, for sure. Thank you again. Link to post Share on other sites
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