Bummed&Hurt Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I am dealing with my STBX's second affair with the same guy. The first time around we went through MC and tried to put things back together, then at the end of August I found out she was having a emotional affair with him again. I was heart broken again. We should have the divorce final before the end of the year and she has told me she is in love with him and is having sex with him again. This all happened within 2-3 months after he contacted her again. Now obviously she is not the quality of person you should spend your energy on but I am getting grief from my 3 oldest kids, friends, family, and even her family that I am taking this to calmly. I have never been one to lose my emotions or getting upset quickly. I have a hard time holding grudges and I honestly try to avoid confrontations. I do lose it from time to time with her and say things I regret later, but these are things that I think she should hear. Things that are killing me how she could wash her hands of me and our family in such a short time. My oldest daughter is livid with her and will have nothing to do with her. Our little kids, 9 and 7, are showing signs of the stress. I still can't seem to get to the point where I can just tear into her and tell her how much damage she's done. BTW, she is having the affair with her boss and the three of us work at the same place. If his boss found out there would be a big fall out so they are treading lightly around the office. I guess I am looking for thoughts on if what I am doing is healthy and correct, or if letting loose on the person is something she needs to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
SRV Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Time is ripe for you to ACT-disclose the affair - HR dept, his wife/gf-they surely were not thinking about you and your kids or the fall out. Time for both of them to feel the consequences of their actions. Its time for you to lawyer up and have him on speed dial. You know what the definition of insanity is right? She did it once, is doing it again, and rest assured will probably do it again once this round of the affair is over. She is also now blatantly disregarding you, your feelings, your family, your kids. Why are you "enabling" her? People treat us the way we allow them to? You know what needs to get done, good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I can see why everyone is frustrated with you. If you let her walk all over you, why should she stop? Tell the main boss and expose the affair. Stop being a push over Link to post Share on other sites
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