believe him? or not? HELP!

[summerlove]

OK my issue is still trust and i have an even better story now! i don't know if my bf is ever telling the truth! about two weeks ago right before thanksgiving i was driving to his house and when i got there he was being dropped of by a car with two girls in it! he was suppose to be at his friend Jeremy's house! i then called him and pulled up as soon as they left! i ask him and he said it was Jeremy's gf and her friend! that Jeremy had left Sarah's house with out him and never showed back up so they had to drive him home! i shrugged it off and decided it was the truth! i could see and feel no problem! later on like a week ago he left the room and i thought i would be snoopy and go through his phone! i then found a number for a kadie girl! i then asked him who was kadie as soon as he got back in the room he got so mad! the kadie # was in the receive or missed call section like 4 times! i forgot which one! he then explained to me that it was his friend Andy's little sister call to see if Andy was with him! but the area code wasn't the same he just played it off and told me he didn't know! i kind of shrugged it off but still had this bad feeling! i memorized the # and keep it! and today i couldn't take it anymore i snoop in to all his stuff and ended up getting into his email and aim! i got her screen name and made me a new one and played as a guy friend of his and talked to her she said they have been talking and that he said we broken up! here's my convo. with the girl. i talk for awhile if you can understand it:

 

: oh do you know Andy

: i know an Andy with a sister named kadie

: Dunno

do you have a brother name Andy

: Andy who?

: don't know his name i meant him though another friend

: i just know Andy

Nope

you don't have a brother named Andy?

: Nope

: hum..... do you know a Devin

Yep

: hum that must be how are u his girlfriend?

: No...what is the Devin's last name?

I told her but (can't reveal in this)

: i think

: Yep i talk to him

: were you with him like not long ago i might of meant u

: it was like almost a month ago?

: meet u sorry*

: Haha no

: where do you live in tn?

: y ha ha

do you like Devin?

: Nash

: do you like Devin how did you meet him?

: We have never met but yeah i like him

: does he like u

: are you single?

Yes i am and i dunno if he likes me

do you talk on the internet or on the phone?

: how did you start talkin to him?

: you should talk to me

Both

does Devin have a girlfriend?i think he does

: Imed him online

: Not that i know of

: yea he does i just ask him

: her name is Brandy

Both

: both what ?

: No they brOKe up

: no they didn't

he just said

: hum when did he tell you they brOKe up

: Like a while ago

: oh well i think they got back together

when did you talk to him last?

: Couple nights ago

: OK well im goin to go nice talkin to ya

ill holla later!

Why ya goin?

: i don't have to if i m not bothing u

: so you ever goin to meet Devin

: if you do come this way u should meet me too

: you should get online

Lol where are u?

: home

i live close to Devin

I cant right now im outa town til tuesday

: did Devin invite u

: Fun

: well you should call Devin like at 630 tonight i'm goin over there to hang

: He always is askin me to come

but i'm goin to go take a shower and head over there

: I cant lol

: y

cant u

: when did you start talk to him?

I cant lol

He always is askin me to come

why can't you call him

: when did you start talkin to him

: hey u there?

Im shopping

oh your close

: so y cant you call him

: y can't u call him?

: can you answer?

: it will be the last one cause i got to go get ready! y cant you call him?

: Yep

At least a year ago

what so you meet him a year ago and you are goin to call him?

is that right?

I talk to him alot

are you goin to call tonight?

are u

are you goin to call tonight did you get this?

I will try

OK

i'm goin bye

 

 

 

 

 

and that is what was said she told alot and i then got ready and head to Devin's i confronted him and he explained to me that he lied about it because he didn't want me mad he said he doesn't even like her and she just keep bothering him! i told him that all he had to do is tell the truth and i then would of picked up the phone and called her and told her to leave him alone! he said no i would of just gotten mad ! and i would of but still he shouldn't of lied! he then toOK me in his arms and said i love you and he texted her and told her to leave him alone in front of me! i mean should i worry? she is even in a different place and two years younger then me and 3 years younger than him! but yet i still don't know what to do! i told him i would of rather always here the truth before a lie even if it was to say i don't want to be with you anymore and he goes well i do want to be with you! i love you! and i brOKe down and huged him back!

im so week when it comes to affection! i just don't know what to do! he explained everything and he swore to me he has never cheated or anything and i believe that but yet i have that bad snoopy feeling i get alot latly i want to know everything and i talk to him 24 /7 and i see him every day so i mean he can't be cheating right! i don't know what to do i love him so much! that all i have to say is i don't know? i don't know what the future loOKs like! ( aim ruins everything)

[Reckless]

Bfaith,

 

I would like to help - I really would but dang your post is just too loooonnnnnngggggg!!!! You're gonna have to learn to cut a little and explain clearly in as few words as possible what you're asking. I know you've got a lot on your heart so I understand but sheezze girl!

 

Okay, I think the bottom line (sorry, just could not get through it all) I think the bottom line is that you don't trust your guy and are pretty much snooping and hounding him about it. Listen, if you love him give him the benefit of the doubt, if he's cheating it'll show up in the end but he'll dump you and fast if you keep nagging at him.

 

If you can just outline in a couple of sentences what evidence you have that he's being unfaithful, maybe someone else can help you a little more. I've got to go lie down now....

 

R.

[summerlove]

ok sorry yea it was a really long! it was telling how i caught him in a lie and i told him! and how i was snooping around to get this lie out in about ! and how i feel really bad for snooping but i now feel like i have to snoop to find out if he is lying!

 

* that one lie he backed up really good and explained and even fixed it but i'm worried that he might do it again!

 

and how am i going to get him not too or even get another one out if i dont stay in his personal stuff?

 

i know he loves me!

[absolutely_sweet]

well,

 

i understand where ure coming from. i dont think i could trust him a 100% anymore. that crap he pulled is pretty dang tacky. u deserve better than that. i just hope he ant playing you for a fool, bc him sayin he didnt have a gf that is some serious stuff, he dont give a **** bout you if he said that in my opinon. But its your choice and yall should just have a serious talk about everythang.

 

i just wish u the best i really am blank right now. its hard to trust some one u deeply love that is lying to you.

[jenny]

just a different perspective...

 

i know you're hurting, and i know the feeling! but, in my opinion, snooping is the worst thing you could be doing. if you don't trust him, and it seems you have reason not to, it's time to let him go.

 

snooping is an unethical action and it is beneath you to do it. think of all the things you are doing - invading privacy, lying online, and worse, you're wasting time that you could be using for your own needs and pleasure.

 

i think you should take your focus off of him and put it onto yourself - why are with a guy like this? what do you like to do when you're not with him or thinking about him? the worst part of paranoia, as you noted, is that it starts to consume your mind.

 

there are very few guys who will put up with intrusive clinging women for long and very few women who will put up with men they can't trust. i think this relationship is nearly dead.

 

you will have to make your own choice on this, but it is a very bad idea to ever snoop through your man's stuff, internet, or computer. he is a seperate person, with seperate feelings, and he has a right to privacy, as you do. guys admire girls who don't need to be inside a guy's head - it means the girls have rich, full, and fun lives of their own.

 

cheers

[summerlove]

ok well yea snooping is bad on my part but this time it has seemed to work! i mean he found out everything i and i explained to him what i did and y i did it he seemed to understand and told me that if it made me feel better i could snoop! so him saying that just earned back some what lil trust! i know he loves me and will stick with me ! its the point and question of am i going to stay with him! i mean i love him and i want to be with him and we talk about breaking up and taking breaks but it just never happens! as it stands right now he tells me" its so great to have my girlfriend as my best friend" i don't know maybe things will work out in some perspective! i know all relationship have the ups and downs maybe that was my fall? but i guess theres no telling what direction this relationship is going! I'm just in for the ride and to have fun!

 

 

but thanks so much your thoughts have really gave me some good mind set of don't get to attached!