it seems all therapist think alike.

[zingy'd]

i have just started seeing a new counselor, a cheaper one, and once again had to go through the rigamaroe of telling my family history.

 

it came up that i do house cleaning and about my problems with agoraphobia and getting to my jobs.

 

somehow it had came out when i was about 10-11 or so that we moved into this big house and in order to move into it we all (my sisters and me) had to agree to clean one room each.

 

i chose the bathroom, i am assuming either cause it was small and easy or because it was private.

 

now this had come up in counseling before, this exact scenario, but i don't remember why i've brought it up a few different times, it was for a good reason.

 

but each time the counselor made the comment that it is not NORMAL for a kid that age to want to clean a bathroom.

 

so they think either some thing "dirty" happened or i was "molested" or something, thus "cleaning" the bathroom, that something "bad" must of happened in a bathroom or to make me feel dirty.

 

what do you guys think about this? why do all therapist immediatley blame any past weirdness or their perceived weirdness on sexual problems whilst young?

 

i have some memory lapses as well from age 5-8, my mom said cause nothing exciting happened to really remember.

 

i dunno, i don't think anything about it either. i don't think or feel that i was sexually touched in any way at all while growing up, so why do all therapist have to think this way?

 

i think it could be ideas into ones head, like hypnosis can.

[Tony T]

All therapists don't think alike. You need to assert yourself in your therapy sessions and raise an objection when you feel your therapist is off the mark. Your desire to clean the bathroom could have any one of a thousand hidden meanings but most likely it was the room you valued the most, as most people do during those important times of need.

 

As for your agoraphobia, the treatment of choice is often systematic desensitization, exposing you to places or distances a little at a time until you are assured that being there is not going to cause a full blown panic attack. Your therapist could work in conjunction with a psychiatrist who could prescribe some excellent medications to help you with this process.

 

I have read that suppressed anger is often a cause of phobias...as well as depression. I hope your counsellor will delve into your past to see if possibly you have some big time anger against people or events stored up that could be hindering your healing process. There are other possible causes as well, such as early abandonment issues.

 

Just let this bathroom issue pass and put your energies toward your recovery from your main problems.

[zingy'd]

i do tell these therapist that i don't belive nor feel that i was abused or sexually molested, and beleive it or not they don't believe me! they think i am in denial, when in truth i honestly do not feel that i was!

 

as for the anger, i think i do have alot of built up anger, it seems to come out in passive/aggressive ways.

 

sometimes i get so mad at my boyfriend that i could just reach over and punch him in the face, because i'm so frustrated with trying to convey a point to him and he wont listen or thinks he is always right or whatever.

 

sometimes i feel i could tear apart this house piece by piece just to relieve some anger in me.

 

i don't know why i have such anger, but at times it scares me. other times i want to sit and cry, run away from it, or laugh it off.

 

neither tactic works well. sometimes i hit things and i can visually see myself acting this way and i wonder why i am acting this way.

 

sometimes it all scares me, the anger i must have bottled up inside. years of being a dormat, not speaking up, being mousy and timid all the time.

 

i hate being timid. i want a voice in this world but it eludes me. i have a very monotone voice, and when i try to be assertive it always comes off as being unsure of myself.

 

where as my boyfriend has this big ole loud voice, and i wish i could be more like him lots of times cause he is very assertrive and very outspoken, and i am so much envy that aspect of him, and i think some anger comes from not being able to speak up loudly without sounding so dumb like i don't know what i'm saying, just being so unsure of myself, timid, mousy, unclear, blah blah blah...words come out but nothing is being said...

 

i know i know talk to the therapist about it al..

[moimeme]

Hey, Zingy!

 

If you find that your therapist insists on your having these issues that you don't think you have, maybe you should get yet another therapist. I think you've landed on a dyed-in-the-wool Freudian. I thought that breed had pretty much died out, but it seems there are still some of 'em, and, as you probably know, Freud figured sex was the problem in almost every situation (yes, I know, broad generalization but I feel like using one LOL).

 

I don't think it's unusual to not have memories between 5 and 8 - not all that much happens then, anyway so I don't know what you'd be expected to remember. I have a few memories from then, but very few, and I know absolutely I wasn't abused.

 

The therapist might be trying this abuse/sex angle to get at the cause of your anger. It is true that some form of abuse could be at the root of that, but not necessarily. If you choose to stick with this counsellor, tell him/her that you want to explore other possibilities. Some of these people are 'way too hooked on abuse as a theory and have been responsible for creating false memories of abuse in people. I'm not saying your new one is doing that, but if this therapist continues to stick to this theme, dump him or her and ask the next one if s/he is big on Freud.

[HokeyReligions]

Tony is right in that you do need to assert yourself and question your therapist. The first two therepists that my husband and I went to (one was a therepist one a psychologist) both insisted on certain factors in our marriage meaning the same thing and we insisted that was not the case. We finally went to a psychiatrist who was able to help with an unknown medical problem and her therapy sessions were right on target with our needs. Not saying the other therapists were bad or anything - but they didn't have the expertise for our particular problem. That may be the case with you too. You have to find the right therapist/doctor for your particular needs.

 

As for cleaning the bathroom -- that was always my favorite room to clean when I was a kid because I loved to play in water and made a game out of it, plus it was a smaller room. I didn't like cleaning the toilet - but the tub and sink provided a lot of entertainment! Along with cleaning materials I brought a whole regatta in there with me!