My boyfriend has just became best friends with his ex...

[karma84]

Ok here it goes...

My bf has this ex, who all of a sudden he claims to just be friends with, though he has barely talked to her (as far as i know of) for over a year or so. Anyways my boyfriend and I are in a band together and he invited her to one of our gigs a few days ago. My bf assured me that they were just friends and she could get a lot of people to come to our shows so i was completely understanding. She seemed pretty cool but was complimenting me and flattering me a little to much. The next day after the gig, i call his house to find out that her and her 5 year old son our hanging out with him. My best friend and her bf who are also friends with by bf were over there as well and so i asked to talk to my friend. As soon as my friend got on the phone my bf's ex was like, "let me talk to her!" She again started flattering me and telling me how much she loves my voice, how beautiful i am etc... and told me to come over and hang out. Well i did not go. The plot gets thicker. I finally put 2 aND 2 together and recall my ex saying that they broke up on good terms and he still loves her, they just couldn't be together at the time cuz he didnt get along with her friends. Notice I said he told me, HE STILL LOVES HER. I dont know what to do, should I talk to him about his feelings for her, or just end the relationship now? Do you think she is trying to weasel her way back in my man's life and that it's possible he may want her back?

[Tony T]

What you do depends on just how much you think of this guy. If you aren't in love with him, tell him to take a hike and go your merry way. If you care a lot for him, let him know his new friendship is inconsiderate, disrepectful to his relationship with you and totally unacceptable. Let him know that you aren't going to tell him who his friends can be but if he chooses to spend a lot of time with his ex you are out of the picture totally.

 

This whole thing doesn't smell very good. It's just plain weird to all of a sudden have him spending this kind of time with his ex, the one he still loves.

 

Be prepared to move on. And the next time you encounter a guy who is still in love with his ex, let that be your signal to start packing. Don't put up with this crap another day. Be firm and decisive in the way you handle this and the action you take. Your guy seems to be a first class, uncaring butthole as his life applies to you.

[denise83]

I would tell him to choose, the ex or me.