Relationship On the Rocks

[flauntatl]

I apologize if this is too long, but I thought it would help to have a little background on the relationship before asking questions.

 

I'm 26, and I just got out of a 2-year relationship with a woman, not out of my own choice. We lived together for the last 7 months and just a few weeks ago both moved out. Anyway, she's been seeing someone else and she's taking the relationship pretty seriously. At this point I think it's beyond me to just convince her to come back to me, but I know she still wants me atleast somewhat because she misses me at times and still likes to see me.

 

Anyway, my big question is how do I take that "I miss him" desire of hers and amplify it, or make it even worse for her? Basically I want her to miss me like hell, but I'm not sure how to do that effectively. Since we moved out a few weeks ago we've been seeing each other now and then and talking online and on the phone occasionally. I've been hesitant to be "unavailable" a lot because I don't want to her to just forget about me or think I've moved on, and she can see him as much as she wants. At the same time if I let her have access to me whenever she wants am I not sort of shooting myself in the foot?

 

As I see it, here are some of my options, and maybe there are ones that you can think of that I haven't:

1) I could refuse to see her in person but keep talking to her online and on the phone.

2) I could refuse to see her or talk to her until she's decided I'm worth it to her to give up this other guy.

3) I could pretend I'm busy more often when she says she misses me or wants to go do something with me.

4) I could go the jealousy route and make up stories about other women that I meet.

 

As you can probably tell I'm having trouble keeping my desires separate from my strategies, so I'm looking for an outside perspective. I'm not looking to be told that she doesn't deserve to have me care anymore, I can't help that I still care, I just want to make a good strategical decision at this point and see what happens.

 

Thanks!

[Tony T]

So very sorry. People are usually with who they want to be with. Right now she wants to be with somebody else. Make plans to move on with your life. Sitting around strategizing about how you're going to get her back is a total waste of time. You're more likely to see her sooner if you appear to be over it and getting on with your life.