USMCHokie Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 ...of either your ex or the sadness of breakups and dealing with losing someone in your life...and holding onto hope that love transcends all and there really can be a happily ever after...? Ever since I broke up with my ex about 3 and a half months ago, I've found myself listening to songs that share the common theme of breakups...it's comforting, but at the same time, it only reminds me of what I've lost, and I sometimes get into a mopey mood because of it... The worst song for me is probably "These Days," by Rascal Flatts...for a while I'd play that song on repeat and fall asleep to it at night...it reminds me how much this girl stilll means to me, even after everything that had happened and how she's probably forgotten about me since we went NC... Of course this probably doesn't help the healing process, but it's a habit I can't seem to kick...and it's probably my biggest weakness in trying to move on...sometimes I'll listen to more angry songs (Shinedown's "In Memory" is another favorite), and I'll feel better that breaking up was the best thing for me...but I always seem to go back to the sad ones... Does anyone else try to escape in music only to fall further into the hole...? Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Yeah, I'm very guilty of that myself. If you feel like sharing.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t205480/ Link to post Share on other sites
weltrav Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 I hear you, I'm doing the same thing too right now. "Title and Registration" by death cab for cutie has been playing a lot both on my mp3 player and in my head. But aside from listening to sad music that reminds me of how much I miss my ex of 6 months ago, I also come across so many songs that are somehow associated with memories of her, whether it was a song we danced to a year ago, her favorite song, etc. I seriously need to do some cleaning out of my mp3 playlists because as you said I feel at times that it is only digging deeper into a hole while our respective ex's seem to have moved on. I really don't know what advice to give since I'm in the same boat. I'm interested to hear what others post on this thread Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 Lay off those sad songs for awhile. Same with rom-com movies...In fact, avoid anything that might remind you of your ex. (it's hard i know) - but do your best. I remember even a stupid shampoo ad. on tv reminded me of my ex. haha. Link to post Share on other sites
lilbelle Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 my problem is that everything reminds me of him. I mean everything. Watching tv is a pain because almost everything reminds me of him. I know he watches conan every night and so do I so watching that makes me miss him even more. Forget music at all. I will break down so bad I feel like I am going to die. I open my underwear drawer an dremember things he might have said about them. I can't wear my favorite neclace because of the memory of him putting it on my neck. I'm trying to let go and I can't. I'm just so obsessed right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Music...yes. Music can break me, I had to stop listening to a lot of things for a while. I will admit that I indulged in sad songs for a while until I realized it was like my drug of choice. So I still limit my music, some things just strike too close to my wounded heart. Same with romance, some movies I have to stay clear of right now too. Of course when you go out you cant control the music. I remember the first month He was gone, one of his songs came on while I was in the grocery store. Its bad to get caught crying in the bread aisle. But what can you do? Uplifting songs however, I have found recently that they help me forget for a few minutes. Not bad, small things help. Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 my problem is that everything reminds me of him. I mean everything. seriously everything?! Was your breakup very recent then? Either that or your ex was very controlling. Sorry to go off topic. Link to post Share on other sites
lilbelle Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 seriously everything?! Was your breakup very recent then? Either that or your ex was very controlling. Sorry to go off topic. very recent. he went nc for about 2 weeks, then we saw each other out last friday. i asked him was oing on and he was just really vague and kept saying it wasn't a good time that his buddy was in town, said I didn't trust him, and yeah I have trust issues as my ex husband cheated on me with my best friend as well as physically and emotionally abused me. He also told me I can have whoever I want... I was devastated. I sent him a text later that said I was done and he was disrespectful. Things just got worse. He hates me and I can't deal. I know I don't deserve this and I know it will get better but right now it's just very tough. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyYou Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 For some reason sad songs/break up songs have really helped me. Idk why they make me feel better for some odd reason. I have been listening to Against all Odds by The Postal Service over and over again the last few days and it makes me smile...wierd Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Lilbelle, sorry to hear that. It sounds like he didn't even want to work things out or see things from your angle. Look, your still in the early stages of a breakup...everything will remind you of your ex because that's all you think about. Be patient...no rainbow without rain, right? Keep moving forward and don't look back...the sun will shine for you again. 'cause you deserve better.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted November 3, 2009 Author Share Posted November 3, 2009 For some reason sad songs/break up songs have really helped me. Idk why they make me feel better for some odd reason. I have been listening to Against all Odds by The Postal Service over and over again the last few days and it makes me smile...wierd Yep...me too...for some reason, it feels like listening to sad songs helps me get through it and ease the pain over time...or at least I try to convince myself of that...if I can listen to a song that reminds me of the ex without breaking down, wouldn't that mean that I'm getting stronger...? Or so I would like to think...? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I have been listening to Against all Odds by The Postal Service over and over again the last few days and it makes me smile...wierd You know what's crazy is that the earlier (Phil Collins) version of that song still makes me sad, because it hit so close to home with a breakup many, many years ago. And I'm totally over him and we still keep in touch as casual friends, but that song sends me right back to a very painful time in my life. Very bizarre. A friend just sent me a link to a song from about a million years ago called Red Rubber Ball by the Circle -- or maybe it's Cyrkle? and I found that it tweaked some gut desire to fall in love again. Now that's nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 if I can listen to a song that reminds me of the ex without breaking down, wouldn't that mean that I'm getting stronger...? Or so I would like to think...? Absolutely! Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingLonely98 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Yep. Maybe it's just me but I am now hearing songs that I've heard 1000s of times but never "really" heard them. I didn't know so many songs were about breakups and love lost and such. And the "Special" songs, when I hear them, it hurts a LOT: - Eric Clapton “Wonderful Tonight” - U2 “One” - Al Green “Let’s Stay Together” - The cranberries “Dreams” - Barry White “You're the First, the Last, My Everything” - Mariah Carey “Always Be My Baby” - Toni Braxton “You Mean the World to Me” - Sinead O’Connor “Nothing Compares 2 U” I could go on … Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 It has been twenty one years and it was me breaking it off with her after less than a year, but after one breakup (yes, there were more than one), she said that the below song could have been written by her. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2H2DaMvouE&feature=related I still remember her and how she was whenever I hear that song. I wonder if she thinks of me when she hears it. (it was a complicated relationship and she had a bf besides me. Long story. I just knew it wasn't good for either of us as it was). I guess my point is that those songs stay with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I still listen to sad songs that remind me of my ex, and we broke up years ago. I guess it's because I never fell in love with anyone else since then; I was never able to replace him What I don't understand is why I like to torture myself by listening to these songs that make me feel so sad... you'd think I'd want to forget about it and try to feel happy, because he's not coming back, no matter how many times I listen to "What Hurts the Most" (I like Rascal Flatts too). If you really want to depress yourself, listen to Angel by Sarah McLachlan or Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy... but don't say I didn't warn you that they're depressing. Link to post Share on other sites
Limbo21 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 (edited) I personally think listening to sad songs is like putting table salt into an open wound. They are very emotive and powerful and often have little meaning until you suffer the heartbreak that they are writing about. Try something more upbeat like Jack Peñate - every, second minute or hour. I think that sums us all up really (and the vid is sh-t hot) Give it a whirl, it's worth a look (with the words) Edited November 3, 2009 by Limbo21 Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I would have to agree that music has the ability to put us right back in a painful emotional state. It triggers our somatic memory of those times and then brings the loss into a much more vivid and painful light. Point is...leave the sad songs alone until they don't trigger you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
McGrupp Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 (edited) have fun!! When I jumped off, I had a bucket full of thoughts When I first jumped off, I held that bucket in my hand Ideas that would take me all around the world I stood and watched the smoke behind the mountain curl It took me a long time to get back on the train Now I'm gone and I'll never look back again I'm gone and I'll never look back at all You know I'll never look back again I turn my face into the howlin' wind It took me a long time to get back on the train See my face in the town that's flashing by See me standing at the station in the rain See me running there beside the car I left it all behind, again I'll travel far It took me a long time to get back on the train When I jumped off, I had a bucket full of thoughts When I first jumped off, I held that bucket in my hand Ideas that would take me all around the world I stood and watched the smoke behind the mountains curl It took me a long time to get back on the train It took me a long time to get back on the train It took me a long time to get back on the train Edited November 3, 2009 by McGrupp Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingLonely98 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 They are very emotive and powerful and often have little meaning until you suffer the heartbreak that they are writing about. VERY true L21. Thanks for that insight. Explains my post above that said "Maybe it's just me but I am now hearing songs that I've heard 1000s of times but never "really" heard them.". PEACE! Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 But at least you're not doing what I do...actively seeking new songs about heartbreak...let's just say I have amassed quite the collection...I know it's probably self-destructive for some, but it's been my way of coping... Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingLonely98 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 But at least you're not doing what I do...actively seeking new songs about heartbreak...let's just say I have amassed quite the collection...I know it's probably self-destructive for some, but it's been my way of coping... It seems anymore like every other song ever written is about heartbreak or failed love. Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I remember when I first got back after my situation I kept listening to Wicked Game by Chris Isaak, over and over again. And to top that off I was watching When Harry met Sally on a Regular basis....... It gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
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