I give up

[Love is a fairytale]

I'm 26 years old and I've never even been in a real relationship. I was married but very shortly after my "husband" revealed he only married me to get extra money from the military. So that was a bust. After that it was string after string of the same thing- friends with benefits with no hope of becoming more. I turned 26 less than a week ago and I just can't go another year of living like this. I feel like a human trashcan. It's not like I even put myself out there to be used for sex, but I think some people can see my desperation and feed me whatever lies they want. I'm attractive, I take very good care of myself, have a job, car, no kids, and I'm educated. I feel like love just isn't in the cards for me. I think I may end up alone. Does anyone else feel like this?

I've signed up on dating sites but those are a joke. It's almost like posting an ad on craigslist for a date. I'm not THAT desperate yet. I see people in relationships and I'm jealous. I wish someone would call me their girlfriend for a change. The walk of shame gets harder to walk when you start getting up there in age. Sorry for the long pointless rant, but I am just so so tired of being alone. Seems like the only way to get a man these days is to be a rude, lying, cheating b*tch. Be nice= stay single.

[whattodoooo]

your time will come around dont worry. i have been in relationships and im in one rite now but believe me they are not that great ive been heart broken alot and the relationship i am in now is going downhill and i regret wanting to be in a relationship so bad because they are stressful and if i get out of the relationship im in now i am going to focus on friends and family because that is waaaaay more important and less stressful. you should not think about being in a relationship you should think about having fun with friends and family you dont need a guy to make you happy.dont focus on that and your time will come when you meet a guy for you

[aphrodite85]

heyy girl ... well i was reading your story! and well i have been heartbroken too .. a lot of times!.. I know how it feels to be used like a kleenex over and over... but there are nice guys also... (not so many!) but there are some out there!... Love sometimes its not so easy for some women .... But every experience is knowledge...

 

So like they said nobody said that it will be easy, but it is worth it!... dont give up on love! just be more careful, protect your heart and dont lose hope!... there are no! prince charmings!! (those ideas are dumb) but there are good men! I still believe it! and even I dont have mine yet! hehe! im still waiting, and yeah they will probably are gonna break my heart a couple of times more, but he will come!... and yours too!! you'll see!!

[In_Repair]

Describe the type of man that you usually date. It seems to me that when a woman cries about not being able to find someone, most of the time it's because they are throwing themselves at the wrong type of men.

 

If you feel like you are constantly being used for sex, then stop giving away sex before you know a man's true intentions.

[someguyonthenet]

before i begin, allow me to be harsh for a second. Im a male, around your age. I have been with most of the women in my life for fun, other than 1 which i took amazingly serious(which didnt work out). I have to come to find, regardless of what u might think, you have your flaws, annoyances, and certain bad sides. i dont know you personally, but its rather arrogent for us to tink that we do not contain those qualities. now allow me to explain. by the sounds of it, your a women with a goal in my mind, whereas u believe the enviorment around is set on experiences.

 

i dont know u anymore than this post itself, but i can tell that your a person with an outlook on longevity. you tend to care more than you are cared for. almost feels wrong for you to believe that there should be conditional love rather than unconditional love. when u mention the quote "only way to get a man these days is to be a rude, lying, cheating b*tch. Be nice= stay single." is partially correct "as sad as it may seem!". but allow me to say, that will not bring u happiness in the long run. I have been in the same shoes but on the opposite sex, im an attractive, and very successful person, but i have realised, there are sooo many combination of people out there, that you need not to question yourself!. honestly ask yourself this. if you could find someone easily to fill your void vs find someone you fill your heart with do u really belive its something u would want for the rest of ur days(regardless of how long?). look at it more of there being a difference between kind and nice!. if u have aim or fb feel free to look me up, im always open to talk

[euroxx]

I'm 26 years old and I've never even been in a real relationship. I was married but very shortly after my "husband" revealed he only married me to get extra money from the military. So that was a bust. After that it was string after string of the same thing- friends with benefits with no hope of becoming more. I turned 26 less than a week ago and I just can't go another year of living like this. I feel like a human trashcan. It's not like I even put myself out there to be used for sex, but I think some people can see my desperation and feed me whatever lies they want. I'm attractive, I take very good care of myself, have a job, car, no kids, and I'm educated. I feel like love just isn't in the cards for me. I think I may end up alone. Does anyone else feel like this?

I've signed up on dating sites but those are a joke. It's almost like posting an ad on craigslist for a date. I'm not THAT desperate yet. I see people in relationships and I'm jealous. I wish someone would call me their girlfriend for a change. The walk of shame gets harder to walk when you start getting up there in age. Sorry for the long pointless rant, but I am just so so tired of being alone. Seems like the only way to get a man these days is to be a rude, lying, cheating b*tch. Be nice= stay single.

 

There are many men that pray on a daily basis for a girl like you. The thing you have to realize is that you're probably going for men that appear not to want you, there in lies an attraction (Want what you can't have.) While you leave men who would probably get on their knees for you behind in your chase. The dating websites are indeed a joke (tagged, etc.) all you find on there are men looking for one thing and the same goes with CL.

 

Fact of the matter is, it will come in time. Maybe in unexpected locations, but don't get discouraged.

 

P.s. Where in FL do you live?

[Odyssey]

Do i get jealous when i see other couples? nah, i think good for them, they have their life and i have mine. I don't compare other people to myself 'cause it really doesn't matter.

 

I used to think like you. Desperate to get into a relationship...in fact i was just desperate to just be with somebody...the desperation blinded me to settle. Trust me, other people can see it too, like a big stain on a t-shirt. That's why my FWB in the past went south also. Lesson learned. Like you i got frustrated. Grrr. It took me a long time to figure out...I'd put too much emphasis on the relationship as the be all end all to life. And that's just wrong.

 

You have ask yourself...what's causing the desperation/impatience?

[Mary3]

My story is similar to yours. VERY .

 

The first thing you need to know is that men do * smell * that you feel lonely , confused sometimes, very willing to believe what they pour out of their mouths because they know all that has to be said is a * line *

 

The first STEP is to STOP sleeping with men. It just feels invigorating and liberating to lay in bed at night and know you cherish your body very much.

 

Delete all dating sites and go on a hiatus for 6 months . That means no dating. But if you MUST go out because you feel alone do NOT sleep with them , let them talk sex talk on the IM , let them send naked pictures , let them discuss SEX at any level while you heal.

 

If they put their arm around you , you need to be able to speak up and say " I dont know you very well yet." Because an arm progresses to a touch and a touch progresses to many touches and then arousal starts and sometime we lonely women confuse arousal with : This man must really have feelings for me because he is touching me :

 

Silly yes but true.

 

I would go out on a minimum of 5 dates ( in your healing ) before you even let them near your lips. Make them move SLOW.

 

Do NOT go for FWB. A big trap at your expense. Very degrading for women looking for a relationship.

 

Post back

[gman36]

You sound like a dream come true, believe it or not there are guys who would die to be with a woman like you. someone who wants love and intimacy and romance and to be someones girlfriend. and be very proud of it! just keep your eyes and heart open it will find you. im crushing on you as i speak,

[purgatori]

Your goal is the problem; men are not worth "getting." That said, if you insist on such a silly quest then keep in mind that you have experience that you will be able to draw upon in future, such that you will be better able to determine who is genuine and who is not.

[Pizzaman81]

... Seems like the only way to get a man these days is to be a rude, lying, cheating b*tch. Be nice= stay single.

 

You know what's funny? Men who are not confident in themselves say the same thing

 

"Oh the only way to get a girl these days is be a douchebag, abuse them, and be a convict"

[jerseyboy]

I have nothing to really add

 

Just read the story and made me sad.

 

Hope things work out for ya hon.

 

Don't become bitter. Youre still very young. Seem intelligent and have a lot of affection to give. The right one will come along

[tryagaintoday]

You know what you want but you'll looking at the wrong places. I mean, fwb? You seriously think that fwb will turn into more?

 

I'd fwb and so do many of my friends. Let me tell you, we'll never marry or love them with all our hearts.

 

I'm 2 yrs older than you but I'm also looking for something similar - someone that I'll care for the rest of my life and she the same to me.

Know what? I started looking at the right places and may have just found the one. We went out for more than a mth now and I have not even hold her hand yet. She's definitely a keeper and I'd told her that if she allows me to hold her hand, she needs to be very sure of it because I'll wouldn't let go for the longest time.

 

So hang on to your hopes and don't let it slip away. Take care.

[Disillusioned]

Describe the type of man that you usually date. It seems to me that when a woman cries about not being able to find someone, most of the time it's because they are throwing themselves at the wrong type of men.

 

95% of singles (I'm only talking about the ones who want to meet someone) have no idea what they want in a partner. My best buddy made the mistake of marrying a woman when he didn't know what he wanted, now she has just about driven him to suicide.

 

You know, I think the time will not be far off when singles in the USA finally "get it" and interview each other before deciding whether to date or not. Sure, it sounds pretty silly and unromantic (i feel mock pity for all the poor sex-addicted guys who won't get any)... but we've tried the known alternatives which usually lead to divorce court or to AA.