Do you fight a lot, or is it smooth sailing?

[Thinkalot]

You hear talk of some relationships being very intense and volatile, with high highs, and low lows, and others being smoother sailing, with few arguments, but perhaps less passion and excitement.

 

My partner and I have a relationship which resembles the first kind. We are passionate and intense and the ups are the best either of us have ever known, and the downs, the worst! We are trying to smooth it out a bit more. We love each other a lot, but spark each other off a lot too, and sometimes seem to simply demand too much of each other, and I certainly seem to become too emotional (when I get upset and argue or push for closeness or "to talk", my partner does the classic withdrawal response, and becomes cold and angry- your typical mars/venus interaction).

 

My bf's past marriage he describes as smooth sailing- few arguments..and he says he was content, yet did not feel the depth of love and intensity of feeling he now has. I have in the past, had it both ways. One partner was very easy going, and so balanced out my temper and moods. The other relationship was fiery also.

 

We have read books on communicating etc, and are both putting in the effort to smooth out the arguments and be a little more easy going with each other, and be better listeners and communicators and to not "sweat the small stuff"...But we are also happy knowing we have an exciting and passionate union and that we are both always honest and upfront with each other and have a deep love.

 

I just wonder, what's it like for others? Do you fight much , or is it smooth sailing? What is your idea of how it should be?

[Iwonder]

I have had both types of relationships as well. I like things to be a bit edgy and exciting I guess, but at the same time, too much fighting is too tiring! Keep striving for that balance!