Huh...

[LithiumFlower]

Sorry it's so long, it's complicated.

 

So, me and a guy dated for a good 7-8 months, things appeared to be going good. We had a few rocky moments, but agreed to talk about them, and at the time I figured we were quite well.

 

Then out of the blue, he breaks up with me saying that he's sad he's the only thing that makes me happy, that me and him both have too many issues, and that given his situation and the stresses in his life he's not ready to be committed.

 

We stay friends, more then friends in fact. Basically, we're dating without commitment. We act like g/f and b/f in public, he acts like my b/f in front of my friends, but whenever I was with him around strangers or people he goes to college with, it was like we were just friends. And around other chicks we were just friends. I tell him that I'll continue acting like I'm dating him and having sex with him, but I do note that if he ever decides to be with someone else, to tell me, so I can stop. Even if it's just a one night stand, I want to know. Not who or anything, just that he did. Not that I'll be angry, it's his right. I just want to know, mainly due to STD's and just personal preference.

 

He constantly tells me he's not been with anyone for quite some time.

 

So, after a good stint of not doing anything due to me having to go to the hospital, I come back and we go on a trip. We do the dirty, and afterward I ask him, 'Have you ever been with someone?' He ****s up, and tells me, 'Yeah, one.' Well... turns out for a good month or so, he'd been lying when he told me that he hadn't been with anyone. :/ I'm hurt and angry, but only because he lied to me to pretty much keep me in bed, but we're still doing the psuedo-relationship crap.

 

Eventually I start pointing out we're doing everything one does when they're dating, but we're not. And it's hurting me. He freaks out every time I bring it up, asking why we can't just be lovers, why we have to 'put a label on it'. He fails to see why it hurts me.

 

So, anyways, eventually after 6 months of a psuedo-relationship I tell him I'm tired, and that I'm done with the sex, we're just friends.

 

He's alright with that the first week, and is pretty much 'Whatever'.

 

Near the end of that week he starts talking about how he misses the feel of my skin, and how he figured we'd have one last get together if it every happen.

 

2nd week? He starts crying, calling me, begging for me to take him back all a sudden saying he wants to be committed. I decide to give him a second chance. :/ About a week later, we were just talking, and he admitted out of the blue to being with two women in that 6-7 month stint. I'm like, 'What?'. He stutters, and can only say, 'Why are you surprised, I thought I told you.' I tell him, 'No, that whole time you always assured me you'd only been with one other girl. You never told me about a 2nd time.' So... I dunno'. One, I'm afraid that when **** gets tough, or when he starts touring with his band and hanging out with other girls that he'll call me again saying 'he doesn't want commitment', or that he'll straight out cheat on me...

 

I know I should trust him, but with how complicated things have been with him, it's hard. Especially when I'm upstairs while he's downstairs with friends getting ready for a party, and I overhear him talking about how 'so-and-so chick who's coming is super hot. Seriously, she's like a 10.' :/ And he quite often when I'm out with him starts talking to random chicks, especially at parties, and never introduces me... claiming he's just 'forgetful'. But the instant I even start talking to guys at places, when I'm not even flirting, he's suddenly all over me.

 

Whenever I bring stuff up to him about all this, he just blows up on me in anger and refuses to talk without yelling at me.

 

So, I dunno'. I just want your guys opinions and assessments. Am I making a wise opinion, or am I reading too much into what's prob. just honest mistakes.

Edited November 3, 2009 by LithiumFlower

[Space Ritual]

Oh dear,

 

I will be straight with you. I was a roadie for some top name metal bands in both the 80's and the 90's. And please believe me when I tell you that the worst possible thing you can do is hitch your romantic star to a guy that is not only in a band, but even worse in an "up and coming" band that is beginning touring early in their career. He will never be able to keep his word about anything especially if he is on the road. Frankly if I were you Id part as friends and high tail it to the clinic and get tested right the hell now. That road is fraught with debauchery, believe me

 

What I am trying to say is that your guy's attitude as far as this situation will only deteriorate with each succeeding show he plays. He played you because he wants the convenience of sex without the attachment. If he is about to start on his Rock and Roll Fantasy, please consider yourself lucky to get out of it now. The end of the tune he is playing for you will only end in heartbreak and more lies.

[missxxpeachesxx]

im sorry i have to agree with space ritual , he might care for you but it sounds like he is playing you if he really wanted to be with you he'd be in a relationship by the sounds of it hes keeping his options open, i know u might really like this guy but you have to think about yourself in this.. he knows your gonna keep running back to him . all the time your saving yourself for him you could let the man of your dreams who is going to treat you really well slip through your fingers , id say tell him your not taking this anymore let him know its over he might cry and all sorts but dont the crocidile tears fool you.. be strong hun xx

[torranceshipman]

The biggest question for me is...why would you let a guy treat you so badly and keep coming back for more? He's really disrespecting you and you're letting him get away with it!

[Lucky_One]

I know I should trust him.

 

Why? What in the world in his behavior makes you believe that you should trust him. He has lied to you about two different sexual partners at the same time that he was screwing you (physically AND mentally); he treats you like a stranger when you are out in public.